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A social loser....sarging solo?
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Author:  getalife [ Sat Jul 18, 2009 2:04 am ]
Post subject:  A social loser....sarging solo?
So I'm as socially awkward as it gets. The larger the crowd the worst I am.

Looking back at my life I realize my little success with women, my limited number of friends, and how much time I spend alone. I REALLY want to change my life. My friends are the types to go golfing with, maybe get drunk at a nasty bar, not the type to go to clubs or house parties. Most already have girlfriends and have no interest in picking up.

So screw it I thought, I'll go solo.


The only problem is when I go alone to the clubs, sometimes I get so nervous I can't even get out of my car and in the club.

When I do get the confidence to get in the club, I feel so uncomfortable I become the ultimate wallflower. (when I do end up going in the club I have NEVER seen another guy solo, which makes me more self-conscious about it)

Honestly, I'm so mad at myself I can't get over this fear in my life. :evil:


Does anyone here else sarge solo? Do you guys get the same butterflies i do? Any advice?
Author:  Chowiez [ Sat Jul 18, 2009 2:36 am ]
Post subject: 
im not pro at pick up, but what im thinking is best for you is going to your local area boot camps, meet a few friends under this principle. NOONE IS TOO LOW SOCIAL VALUE FOR YOU. Im going under this principle at school. I ended up with the nerds and faggots, but i had a huge group of high social value guys! BTW, never take photos with the faggots and nerds. Thats a HUGE DLV

Good Luck
Chow
Author:  hollywoodd [ Sat Jul 18, 2009 3:33 am ]
Post subject: 
use this as ur motivation to open sets
when you walk in the club just start talking and opening
if you are talking to people itll bring ur confidence up and then u are unstoppable

but if u want people to sarge with then just post something on here or any pick up forum you can find and look for people who live near you and go get some HBs
Author:  Liquid_Steel [ Sat Jul 18, 2009 3:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Try day game
Author:  getalife [ Sat Jul 18, 2009 4:22 am ]
Post subject: 
Ya I do need start doing day game.

But something about the nightlife....the anxiety and excitement. It's addictive and scary at the same time. I just have a personal goal of wanting to get over it.

I think I'll start doing field reports to embarrass myself to actually go and approach.

Actually I think I'll do go out tonight!
Author:  hollywoodd [ Sat Jul 18, 2009 4:26 am ]
Post subject: 
thats the spirit!
i wanna see a field report tomorrow.
in fact, i wanna see a field report with GREAT results. hell if u have a lay report thatd be awesome.
u will do fine. keep that spirit up and u will do awesome. remember. even if u are waiting in line, just start up conversation with people so u have people who know you and have great spirit about you. and once u enter the club, open a set right away. and after that its all smooth sailing.
Author:  Gio45 [ Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:04 am ]
Post subject: 
man its all about confidence. im not a great PUA yet, but ive noticed that if dont have any confidence at all, girls arent gunna give you a chance. but if you act fun and sociable, the chicks will buy it and hopefully listen to what you have to say. good luck man!
Author:  Redkid [ Sun Jul 19, 2009 1:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Walk in like you own the place. SMILE , Be charismatic. Give off that aura that other guys are gona look your way and go "Oh shit, this guys got it." know what I mean. Start approaching, REMEMBER IF YOU FAIL WITH ONE OPENING MOVE ONTO ANOTHER ONE, THERES PLENTY OF GIRLS. Don't just walk out after the first one, practice makes perfect remember. - Redkid
Author:  DonPua [ Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
If you aren't social it is probably because you didn't feel the need to be social when you were a kid or because of a lack of confidence you always had. Doesn't matter anymore. You can change. Being social is not difficult. It is only a matter of practice. The most social capable people are usually the dumbest because they never studied and the only thing they have done during their entire life is being social. If they can, so can you. You only need practice.

Now considering your question what I have read in one of the PUA books is that if you go out alone and people notice that, you lose a lot of value. And as you know women don't want low value men. What the PUA's consider you to do, is to enter the place and start gaming a group of girls immediately. If you do that, the other people in the room think you are with them which will give you high value because you are with a group of women. And if you learn how to game properly, you can even stay with these girls the whole night. I hope this helps.
Author:  TheTruthPUA [ Mon Jul 20, 2009 11:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
I am going to go against the grain on this one ... if i were you i would put yourself more on the spot ... such as go get a job in customer service where you have to greet people and women also, with comes a new group of people who you can be friends with and maybe they will go with you ... because trying to pick up women without a group at a club is quite easy, but it matters to who if your not good at talking to women its going to be tough shit, and you need a group, but if your good a group can be made in the matter of hours ... Also, I would suggest trying to go to smaller bars and clubs, where most of the people who go there come in singles anyways and not groups ... Lastly, day game this is alot better and easier when working with singles ... 8)
Author:  xibuz [ Mon Jul 20, 2009 11:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A social loser....sarging solo?
Quote:
So I'm as socially awkward as it gets. The larger the crowd the worst I am.

Looking back at my life I realize my little success with women, my limited number of friends, and how much time I spend alone. I REALLY want to change my life. My friends are the types to go golfing with, maybe get drunk at a nasty bar, not the type to go to clubs or house parties. Most already have girlfriends and have no interest in picking up.

So screw it I thought, I'll go solo.


The only problem is when I go alone to the clubs, sometimes I get so nervous I can't even get out of my car and in the club.

When I do get the confidence to get in the club, I feel so uncomfortable I become the ultimate wallflower. (when I do end up going in the club I have NEVER seen another guy solo, which makes me more self-conscious about it)

Honestly, I'm so mad at myself I can't get over this fear in my life. :evil:


Does anyone here else sarge solo? Do you guys get the same butterflies i do? Any advice?
Im always solo cuz I have no IRL friends who're into PUA, and under21 during the daytime. Suffer from emotional repression and haven't had a success story yet but I post reports from my adventures with my 3 wingmen me, myself and I infield.

I don't get butterflies or AA when I'm going to approach, cuz I really am unaffected by their reactions to me, theres nuthin 2 b nervous about.

During the day people are walking around minding their business, taking a walk, going places, etc. You don't look like a loner walking down the street/beach/mall by yourself during the daytime. But in nightgame settings its like everyone is hanging out with their friends, so if you are by yourself you have a loner stigma.

PUAs can deal with this by just approaching and converstaing with groups to socially integrate themselves with the scene; you walk in, start talking to a group then introduce them to another group, but neither group knows that the other group just met you. Im not openly social like that so it wouldn't work; I'd consider myself selectively social and would scan the room first to see who is interesting and who can I relate to most.

But if you're over21 and have a car just go with your buddies to a bar/club and you won't be a nervous wreckflower.
Author:  Lodewijkp [ Tue Jul 21, 2009 2:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
going solo at nght is the hardest thing to do.

1. other people will see you have no social contacts
2. you are probably scanning the room which is creating a predatory look which isn't ok, scanning really takes away the spontanious part of the approach.
3. people will remind you because you are the one thats alone, you are the one that stand out with no social contacts.

1. talk to hired people like bartenders, become friends with them early in evening / at night, don't go late because they are bussy working. eventually people will think you are friends or something - when your doing it good you even can get some free drinks. hired people always have to stay nice it's their job, they never will insult, DLV , or flake on you. when you talk with the bartender you can also merge people into the conversation, other people always respond to bartenders etc.
2. try to merge into groups outside the venue, befriending moving targets is hard but you arrive with some social contacts which gives you a huge advantage.
3. don't go to large venues with loud music als these kind of venues got alot of sluts, rather visit small pubs etc.
4. day game is easier it takes alot of confidence to approach people because you didn't drink and neither did they and there are no friends and there is no music so you really have to re-adjust your energy level.
and during daytime you see less jaleous boyfriends and you are free of any nuisance - cockblockers etc.

Loner stigma ........... yep ... it's a bad thing , you have to focus on making friends not on picking up girls. first of all you need reputation in the venue .
at night it's very easy if you got a huge social circle, if you don't have one then don't even bother to try a pickup.
if you really are try hard and really want to pull it off at night then tell people youre from another country or something ,tell something interesting tell them you are new in town and are going out alone - most people will say wow respect or give you somekind of IOI because it shows you got guts and got confidence.
if you want to have succes on your own then be different instead of regular.
if you fail to open a set - then move to another venue, hanging around one venue for extended periods of time will create DLV because people will remember you as''the loner''.

daytime is the best , make friends on work, go on dates , talk to people on the internet. become as much active as you can during day time.

i had a troubled relationship and i sacrificed everything for this relationship, when my relationship ended i became aware i neglected all my friends and my PUA stuff which really lowered my confidence and skill. i was going solo for a few weeks trying find and pick up a girl because i like it and 2 i don't have family so it would be nice to have a new relationship + some friends. i visited any venue - the goth type - the party like - the jazz type venues - classy lounge venues etc. and every venue is so different especially when going solo, i really discovered that large venues didn't had much singles and those classy lounges venues did have alot of singles. so location is one thing. also you have different types of people i really recommend speaking to older people - not to 17, 19 year olds those are likely to flake. friends who are old are DHV and you can have better conversations with these people in other words befriend socially skilled people, people that are willing to hang out with you. they say its better to have some contact instead of none i agree.
Author:  TrueFlame [ Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A social loser....sarging solo?
Quote:
So I'm as socially awkward as it gets. The larger the crowd the worst I am.

Looking back at my life I realize my little success with women, my limited number of friends, and how much time I spend alone. I REALLY want to change my life. My friends are the types to go golfing with, maybe get drunk at a nasty bar, not the type to go to clubs or house parties. Most already have girlfriends and have no interest in picking up.

So screw it I thought, I'll go solo.


The only problem is when I go alone to the clubs, sometimes I get so nervous I can't even get out of my car and in the club.

When I do get the confidence to get in the club, I feel so uncomfortable I become the ultimate wallflower. (when I do end up going in the club I have NEVER seen another guy solo, which makes me more self-conscious about it)

Honestly, I'm so mad at myself I can't get over this fear in my life. :evil:


Does anyone here else sarge solo? Do you guys get the same butterflies i do? Any advice?
IMHO sarging with others brings almost as much trouble as it's worth. Unless your friends are really cool, and don't have one of a range of behaviours which make PUA impossible (putting down the girls you sarge after the event, being generally blokeish and disgusting, crippling nervousness in women's company, stealing your target etc etc) it hinders as much as it helps. Many experts sarge alone virtually exclusively.

It is a factor in night game but much less so in the day. I would stick to day game until you have an entourage. Chat to the manager/boss/alpha male/female in a given setting and this will bring you way more social proof than you are likely to get from AFC friends.
Here's a trick which might help. Do you see a guy with a travel bag and think he is socially inept? These guys always look adventurous and self-reliant, and have a ready-made reason not to know any one. Might be a good idea to carry around an unneccessarily large bag.

If you get IOI's from a female hired gun then you can use that to get a huge edge over any other female's in the area. Make that location a regular haunt.

Btw Don't worry about your situation. As soon as you develop a social network the whole thing mushrooms quite quickly.
Author:  NonStopReaper [ Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
hmm my take on going solo..... Clubs are not the best choice for going solo( its doable) but the chances are low. You can arrive at the club early and be-friend the staff( bar tenders, promotors ect ect) or the other patrons that are there early to. Practice your game then and wait for the club to fill up during its peak hours. Also since you are already there before everyone you can scoop out the scene and targets that come in without setting off any alarms. My perfered choice for going solo is bars/lounges. Some place you find other people that are solo. Heck go get some dinner and pick up a group there and bring them to the club. Soloing in the club is a bit tricky cause like you said Most people there are not alone if your game is tight then it shouldnt phase you. so my break down.

- build rapport with the staff, promotors, models, go-go dancer bar-tenders ect ect.
-bars/lounges are better suited for gaming solo
-try gaming other places and bring that group to the club.
-being that lone wallflower on the wall at the club... Big DLV
- coming in the club with big cofidence is nice but the moment you first get shut out of your first set it hurts you more in the long run.

P.S i just notice what Lodewijkp wrote and is almost the exact same thing i wrote lol so i agree with his statement. Try and do a meet up and wing with some of the people here and last but not least.. Have fun! its not always about scoring or getting # its about you having fun. I notice alot of people gets frustraded or piss off cause they didnt get that # or get that girl. Just remember at the end of the night.. Did you have fun?
Author:  SFL [ Tue Jul 21, 2009 5:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Whatever dude!

U dont need anyone else. The only person u need it is YOURSELF!!

Became the master of your own WORLD and after that new friends ou HB´s will come!!

SUcess
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