PUA Forum :: OK i kind of messed up big time

b0r3d4l1f3,

She is in a relationship that she chose to be in. You were put in the "family" or "friend zone" by your actions in the past for whatever variety of reasons. The bottom line is this unless you are willing to work to break her up with that guy you aren't going to be in a relationship with her right now.

If you like the girl and you want her to be happy you'll respect the fact she is in a relationship and let things be. Move on date and be her friend. Who knows when you are both single maybe you can take a fresh start at things.

I know this is what you said you would hear and you're right that's what you get. Because regardless of you posting this you already know the answer to the question. You knew the answers you would get as you wrote this and the problem is there has been no new ground broken on "one - itis."

1. You can live with the situation as is, waiting for her and hoping for something later down the road.

2. Break her and then dude up risking ruining everything and getting caught in the cross fire. But there is a possibilitly you'll get her.

-Maybe get her alone and and try to escalate things physically to see what happens.-

3. Talk to her about how you feel, knowing she's in a relationship and can't do anything about it. Thus exposing your feelings but leaving you in the friend zone.

4. MOVE ON and continue to be her friend because you care about her.

I wish there were more options but really there aren't. I wouldn't advise option 1 because that isn't a fun life. I know I've been there. Option 2 is risky and I doubt you're that type of guy. Option 3 is kind of weak. Which leaves you with option 4 that you already knew would come up before you posted this. You know the path you have to walk down, it sucks, but its what we've been dealt.

Best of Luck,

Jon

Author:	b0r3d4l1f3 [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 12:24 am ]
Post subject:	OK i kind of messed up big time
Alright, this has been going on for a little while... I started talking to this girl about 7 months ago, about in time for the new year. We hit it off well sorta but she always had this guy she was "seeing" for over a year..(douchebag couldnt even grow the kahonas to ask her out) anywayss One of my friends is pretty good at this PUA stuff so he would tell me what to say and stuff whenever i was texting her and stuff. At one point i got a vibe from her that she was utterly confused between me and the guy. She wouldnt open up well. Well as time goes on, we chilled and whatnot and my dumbass tells her to ask the guy shes seeing out. I was hoping for a "i cant" from the guy considering hes 25 and has a job and shes 19 in college...but that didnt work. So i continued to game on her but as the summer approached my friend and I sorta headed off in our own directions, he got busy with shit, and i did too..anyways so i continued talking to this girl and our friendship developed. I was talking to her a couple nights ago...and she told me she considered me "family" and i was like "well thats a little too far considering my flirty side comes out once in a while " not the best response but yeah all i could say at the moment. I know i messed up, and a lot of PUAs are gunna tell me to drop her and start a new search, but i really like this girl and i know shes a long term relationship. any advice on how to get out of the "family zone" and back into being considered..

Author:	JSmooth [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 12:48 am ]
Post subject:
b0r3d4l1f3, She is in a relationship that she chose to be in. You were put in the "family" or "friend zone" by your actions in the past for whatever variety of reasons. The bottom line is this unless you are willing to work to break her up with that guy you aren't going to be in a relationship with her right now. If you like the girl and you want her to be happy you'll respect the fact she is in a relationship and let things be. Move on date and be her friend. Who knows when you are both single maybe you can take a fresh start at things. I know this is what you said you would hear and you're right that's what you get. Because regardless of you posting this you already know the answer to the question. You knew the answers you would get as you wrote this and the problem is there has been no new ground broken on "one - itis." 1. You can live with the situation as is, waiting for her and hoping for something later down the road. 2. Break her and then dude up risking ruining everything and getting caught in the cross fire. But there is a possibilitly you'll get her. -Maybe get her alone and and try to escalate things physically to see what happens.- 3. Talk to her about how you feel, knowing she's in a relationship and can't do anything about it. Thus exposing your feelings but leaving you in the friend zone. 4. MOVE ON and continue to be her friend because you care about her. I wish there were more options but really there aren't. I wouldn't advise option 1 because that isn't a fun life. I know I've been there. Option 2 is risky and I doubt you're that type of guy. Option 3 is kind of weak. Which leaves you with option 4 that you already knew would come up before you posted this. You know the path you have to walk down, it sucks, but its what we've been dealt. Best of Luck, Jon

Author:	Majishan [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 12:55 am ]
Post subject:	Re: OK i kind of messed up big time
Quote: Alright, this has been going on for a little while... I started talking to this girl about 7 months ago, about in time for the new year. We hit it off well sorta but she always had this guy she was "seeing" for over a year..(douchebag couldnt even grow the kahonas to ask her out) anywayss One of my friends is pretty good at this PUA stuff so he would tell me what to say and stuff whenever i was texting her and stuff. At one point i got a vibe from her that she was utterly confused between me and the guy. She wouldnt open up well. Well as time goes on, we chilled and whatnot and my dumbass tells her to ask the guy shes seeing out. I was hoping for a "i cant" from the guy considering hes 25 and has a job and shes 19 in college...but that didnt work. So i continued to game on her but as the summer approached my friend and I sorta headed off in our own directions, he got busy with shit, and i did too..anyways so i continued talking to this girl and our friendship developed. I was talking to her a couple nights ago...and she told me she considered me "family" and i was like "well thats a little too far considering my flirty side comes out once in a while " not the best response but yeah all i could say at the moment. I know i messed up, and a lot of PUAs are gunna tell me to drop her and start a new search, but i really like this girl and i know shes a long term relationship. any advice on how to get out of the "family zone" and back into being considered.. i don't know why.. but this reminds me of "Just Friends". Probably because it was on last night. Anyways, if you want to get out of this "family zone" (man! that's harsh) you need to be more intimate! Why? Because "family" or "friends" don't get intimate with each other! Unless you're from a HICK country and that kind of "keeping it in the family" is legal! So yeah, ask the girl to go out to dinner, (cause freaks come out of night! LOL!) I'm serious, dinner but don't pay her half. (But don't be rude as well). And make sure, by the end of the night, you find a way to get a K-Closed. You need to escalate kino throughout the night. You need to be ready and confident. Good luck!

Author:	b0r3d4l1f3 [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 1:22 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: b0r3d4l1f3, She is in a relationship that she chose to be in. You were put in the "family" or "friend zone" by your actions in the past for whatever variety of reasons. The bottom line is this unless you are willing to work to break her up with that guy you aren't going to be in a relationship with her right now. If you like the girl and you want her to be happy you'll respect the fact she is in a relationship and let things be. Move on date and be her friend. Who knows when you are both single maybe you can take a fresh start at things. I know this is what you said you would hear and you're right that's what you get. Because regardless of you posting this you already know the answer to the question. You knew the answers you would get as you wrote this and the problem is there has been no new ground broken on "one - itis." 1. You can live with the situation as is, waiting for her and hoping for something later down the road. 2. Break her and then dude up risking ruining everything and getting caught in the cross fire. But there is a possibilitly you'll get her. -Maybe get her alone and and try to escalate things physically to see what happens.- 3. Talk to her about how you feel, knowing she's in a relationship and can't do anything about it. Thus exposing your feelings but leaving you in the friend zone. 4. MOVE ON and continue to be her friend because you care about her. I wish there were more options but really there aren't. I wouldn't advise option 1 because that isn't a fun life. I know I've been there. Option 2 is risky and I doubt you're that type of guy. Option 3 is kind of weak. Which leaves you with option 4 that you already knew would come up before you posted this. You know the path you have to walk down, it sucks, but its what we've been dealt. Best of Luck, Jon Thanks Jon, Yeah I didn't really expect any other responses. You're right, I'm not one to try to break up a relationship or have her cheat on her bf. I think I just had to see the list of possible options for me to really realize what I was doing. Thanks though! Onwards we go! Sunny

Author:	JSmooth [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 1:58 pm ]
Post subject:
You are welcome Sunny! I make decisions much the same way regardless of if I know what the best path is I still weigh out my other options before choosing. I am guessing you have some of that analytical personlity that I do. Well onwards and forwards eh? Cheers, Jon

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