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she cancelled a date
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Author:  fratss [ Fri Jul 03, 2009 8:35 pm ]
Post subject:  she cancelled a date
Guys,

I had a date planned for tonight.. and my schedule (as far as she knows) is pretty busy.. I made time to be with her tonight at my appartment. We planned to watch a movie, eat some, drink some etc.. Noww what happened.. this is what she texted me (translated :)):

she:
"honey, i'm home now and still have to take a shower, so there is no way i can make it to your place. Can't we date next time in the afternoon? And from July 11th, I'm home alone, so you can come to my place then. love"

I was a little pissed off ofcourse, because i cleared my schedule for her tonight. so i responded:

me:
"you do understand that i cleared my schedule for nothing now right..? I'm not gonna do that again if i can't rely on you. So no.. i won't date you next week."

she:
"oh, i'm sorry, i think you're able to do a lot of other things tonight. why don't you come over here? Too bad you can't meet up next week"

I don't wanna go to her place, because she's 19 and is still living with her parents. I'm 22 and I don't feel like hanging out with her around her parents.. I know I should respond like it's not a big deal, to show non-needy behaviour.. but damn, it really pissed me off, because I think she would've made it to my appartment if she hung around with her girlfriends a little less tonight. I felt like punishing her.. I'm not a marionette doll right? I actually don't feel the urge to date her again now, although she's really hot. But guys.. I feel like my response to these kind of situations is improvable.. :) I show to much emotion I think in my reaction when some girl cancells a date. how should I respond in these kind of situations. These things happen to everybody I guess...?
Author:  tweeby [ Fri Jul 03, 2009 8:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Understand that girls are flaky by nature.

Book theory would suggest you handled her rejection bad. But fuck it, one theory contradicts another (Mystery method vs Gunwitch) and both work.

You got a result, she's invited you round. That's a big deal coming from a chick.

I'd be down there like a shot.

But just a word of warning. DON'T miss that window of opportunity because of PRIDE. Cos if you do, and it FUCKS up you'll regret it.

Also at the moment it seems you're only interested in her for one thing. FUCKING, yep of course that's every mans' goal, but don't telegraph that too her. Play it cool.
Author:  fratss [ Sat Jul 04, 2009 4:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
hmm yeah, you're right.. good refreshing advice tnx.
Now i'm thinking clear again and I do realise I handled the rejection bad. It's really my weak point.. I need to work on that, and I'm looking for a kind of reaction for those situations that reflect a DHV.

I need to improve this, because I do regret some of my actions in the past.. never again! So for my future relationship's sake, help me out guys :)
Quote:
But just a word of warning. DON'T miss that window of opportunity because of PRIDE. Cos if you do, and it FUCKS up you'll regret it.
I'm gonna print this one out and hang it above my bed.. I love this 'statement'.

Just to be clear, I'm trying to show as much gentleman behaviour I can towards women, so I will show them respect and if I want to fuck them, just to fuck them, I'll always tell them.. The past teached me, that women will get even more attracted by that kind of honesty.
Author:  poodogr [ Sat Jul 04, 2009 5:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Could've been worse
Yeah, dude, this is totally not something worth even sweating. It sounds like you've got a good shot b/c she went out of her way to try to get you to chill again; I'll agree with Tweeby, don't let the window close because you're "Playin' it so cool." But don't supplicate.

There have been 2 times over the past month, where if I had played the "nice guy", and not run game, used negs, routines, or scarcity tactics, I could've gotten the girls. With one girl, I was so "proud", etc. etc. she eventually got offended and got up and left. Another one, I played the "really busy cool guy who has to get back to his friends", even though the girl I was talking to was HOT and pretty into me. What happened? A couple minutes later I looked back and she and her friend had gotten up from their table and left!

That said, yeah, the way you handled the rejection could've been way more non-reactive, I would've even shot a text back saying something like, "It's cool, don't worry about it, yeah some buddies called me and wanted to go out anyway, so I'll just do that." (even if its not true)

Your response really showed that you were extremely attached to the outcome. But she came back anyway and tried to make up so it sounds like she likes you.

Take advantage dude, keep playing it cool, keep all this in mind, and I think you've got this one.
Author:  jurupa [ Mon Jul 06, 2009 7:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: she cancelled a date
fratss - Besides what was said, girls only flak on you if they are not that interested in you.


Quote:
Understand that girls are flaky by nature.
No they aren't. They are only flaky when they are not that interested in you. If a girl is interested in a guy she is going to make time for him as best as possible.
Author:  tweeby [ Mon Jul 06, 2009 2:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Girls ARE flaky, indecisive - or whatever you wanna call it regardless whether they're into or not. Remember, they're constantly playing games! They can't help themselves that's what they've always been taught to do.

The difference being the ones that are into will generally organise something themselves if they flake or are busy.

I've noticed this many, many times. [This is my theory]

1) You organise a day 2.
2) The girls says they're not sure, makes up an excuse.
3) The girl organises something to compensate. [This is when you should really start biting because, subconsciously they feel guilty for letting you down. They feel like the date is on their terms so they feel more comfortable and by agreeing to them you flip their reward switches so they feel better about it.]

Quote:
Just to be clear, I'm trying to show as much gentleman behaviour I can towards women, so I will show them respect and if I want to fuck them, just to fuck them, I'll always tell them.. The past teached me, that women will get even more attracted by that kind of honesty.
I agree with this. Be BOLD however, be careful with your so called 'gentlemanly behaviour.' Understand that during the attraction period girls don't want a guy who agrees to everything they say, compliments their hair and make-up and all the other friendly crap - walking on eggshells in case you hurt their opinions.

Build a sense of tension, bust on their balls. Just make sure it's done in moderation.

The key to everything, moderation.
Author:  fratss [ Mon Jul 06, 2009 7:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I agree with this. Be BOLD however, be careful with your so called 'gentlemanly behaviour.' Understand that during the attraction period girls don't want a guy who agrees to everything they say, compliments their hair and make-up and all the other friendly crap - walking on eggshells in case you hurt their opinions.
I totally agree, but with gentlemens behaviour i mean that i don't want to screw them over.. like fucking them and tell them afterwards that I don't want a relation. With gentlemen behaviour I seperate myself from the boys. Seperate myself by showing respect for their feelings, in bodylanguage, but meanwhile I play with them like a player. The bigger the contrast the better I think, respect their feelings, but totally confuse them with playful and unpredictable behaviour to leave them in to the 'dark'.
Author:  ayyarmohan1207 [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 4:17 am ]
Post subject: 
that's good fratss.
women are overall unpredictable. that's what makes them exciting and unnerving at the same time. but what are we without them? lol. i really do think you have a shot with the girl - with you're demeanor and her interesting invite. way to go man!
Author:  jurupa [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 10:28 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Girls ARE flaky, indecisive - or whatever you wanna call it regardless whether they're into or not. Remember, they're constantly playing games! They can't help themselves that's what they've always been taught to do.
Girls can be indecisive. But if she is into you she will not flake unless something happens that cause her to flake. Remember girls know if you are an hot item, in other words you have other girls gunning for you, she is going to make sure not to loose you to another girl. Girls in general are highly competitive on the social level.
Quote:
The difference being the ones that are into will generally organise something themselves if they flake or are busy.
Shit happens you know.
Quote:
I've noticed this many, many times. [This is my theory]

1) You organise a day 2.
2) The girls says they're not sure, makes up an excuse.
3) The girl organises something to compensate. [This is when you should really start biting because, subconsciously they feel guilty for letting you down. They feel like the date is on their terms so they feel more comfortable and by agreeing to them you flip their reward switches so they feel better about it.]
Girls only do this if they are not that into you and don't want to be mean. If you build up enough attraction and interest a girl will only flake if something comes up. Other wise she will show up.
Author:  tweeby [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 5:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Girls ARE flaky, indecisive - or whatever you wanna call it regardless whether they're into or not. Remember, they're constantly playing games! They can't help themselves that's what they've always been taught to do.
Girls can be indecisive. But if she is into you she will not flake unless something happens that cause her to flake. Remember girls know if you are an hot item, in other words you have other girls gunning for you, she is going to make sure not to loose you to another girl. Girls in general are highly competitive on the social level.
Quote:
The difference being the ones that are into will generally organise something themselves if they flake or are busy.
Shit happens you know.
Quote:
I've noticed this many, many times. [This is my theory]

1) You organise a day 2.
2) The girls says they're not sure, makes up an excuse.
3) The girl organises something to compensate. [This is when you should really start biting because, subconsciously they feel guilty for letting you down. They feel like the date is on their terms so they feel more comfortable and by agreeing to them you flip their reward switches so they feel better about it.]
Girls only do this if they are not that into you and don't want to be mean. If you build up enough attraction and interest a girl will only flake if something comes up. Other wise she will show up.
Hey fair comment.
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