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I've been LJBF'd
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Author:  tweeby [ Wed Jul 01, 2009 8:25 pm ]
Post subject:  I've been LJBF'd
Well, I've just been LJFB'd yup. As they say prevention is better than a cure.

Here's the background.

I picked up, number closed a girl at the bus-stop.

To cut a long story short, I reckon attraction was there, I was quite sexually aggressive, mostly in txt messaging.

I organised a meeting with her but she made up an excuse. Then the next day she organised to meet up with me but told me late, so I couldn't meet her because I made other plans. [I know hindsight is a bitch, I should have dropped everything and met up with her as we all know attraction is a fleeting emotional state and that would have been the perfect opportunity to have isolated and attracted her.]

Fast forward to mid-week again she says shes free in the weekend but I mis-interpret her message somehow so that falls through. Then yesterday, at the bus-stop after five days of no contact she tells me she just wants to be friends.

Now this is slightly different from the regular LJBF speech because I believe she's given it to me because she thinks I'm too much of a player as opposed to a chump.

Should I behave like the book theory says, to freeze her out for a few days then come back even more alpha, or still meet her at the bus-stop and be normal/funny?
Author:  Sexcellent [ Wed Jul 01, 2009 11:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
that statement by her is an indicator of disinterest.

my guess is that you started off doing things properly, but then messed up somewhere down the line. start back at the beginning by building attraction and then move into comfort. if you want this girl to be in a relationsihp with you you HAVE TO sexually escalate. this is important. escalation can be slow, very slow, but just make sure you are escalating. the minute you stop escalating is the minute you start to become the LJBF.
Author:  tweeby [ Sat Jul 04, 2009 2:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah, OK I believe this one is dead.

There's no turning it back from the dead. I'm getting no eye contact from her, and she has already made excuses up in her mind why this won't work.

FUCK I wish I had gone on a day 2 with her, things could have been sooo different cos I would have pushed for a kiss-close hence investment. And it was so on.

Anyway, I'm going to see her more or less everyday at the bus-stop now, (unless she catches the bus from a different stop or changes the times she gets the bus.) Yeah imagine my enthusiasm.


How do I deal with this. I've already frozen her out for five days. I don't want to see her because I can't be JUST friends.

Do I say, 'listen I think you should change the times when you get the bus.'

There's no way I can be just friends, really I don't think I could bear it.

Damn back to square one, back to sarging, oh well lessons learned. It's a hard lesson.
Author:  _Phi [ Sat Jul 04, 2009 3:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Did she talk to you and give you the LJBF, or do it through a text. If you weren't face to face she might just be acting pissed cuz you gave her the freezeout... And how did you respond to her LJBF thing?

Remember, girls can say one thing and mean another. But maybe I'm reading it wrong. I'm just hopeful. :)
Author:  tweeby [ Sat Jul 04, 2009 3:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
It was going downhill before that.

I saw her briefly at the bus-stop and anytime we'd have conversations I'd notice a lack of eye contact. Like she would just stare in front of her.

One day I got her a rose. I know, stupid and she didn't take it. And she was making excuses of how there were many differences between us. Like she wanted it to end there.

At the beginning it was fucking ON. I showed my wings my txt messages and there was a lot of flirting. As I said before she even organised to go out with me on two occasions but I fucked it up.

If you wanna read the whole thread it is shown below.

number-close-at-bus-stop-a-cautionary-tale-vt47539.html

She text me the day before saying she had something important to say to me. I figured it was either she wanted to dump me or(take it to the next level). I prepared for both contingencies.

I reacted to the LJBF'd speech with the ross jefferies line. It was done face to face.

"Friends don't put each other into boxes like that. I can only promise that I won't do anything until you and I are both comfortable.'


After I said that, she said she was just being upfront and honest with me. And that she needed time but it didn't necessarily mean nothing could happen between us.

That gave me a bit of hope but her body language was lying. Always read their body language because your eyes never deceive you as their words might.

Long story short, it's over. The LJBF speech has crossed THAT LINE. It's dead.


So now I want to deal with this as best I can. Thanks for any advice.
Author:  tweeby [ Sun Jul 05, 2009 12:47 am ]
Post subject: 
Guys I text her today, saying I understood it was over.

I told her I didn't mind being friends. And why the hell not. It gives me a chance to banter and fluff with a girl. Something that is always good to know how to do - to give your game a more natural feel. At the moment it still feels forced.

She might have a few female friends as well. I actually don't feel as bad as I might have felt say two years ago, when I would have just tried to ignore the whole thing.

I'm a man now. I've dealt with it and I'm able to use it to my advantage.

I don't know if it'll be amicable or awkward. We've both said it isn't an issue.

I've never had the LJBF speech before so it's an eye opener and a lesson. I did many things wrong. Attraction was there, but somewhere along the line I screwed up. I can take a lot from this.

I feel good. To anyone reading this. Yes, rejection hurts, but life is a journey.

I'm on the journey of my life.
Author:  tweeby [ Wed Jul 08, 2009 9:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
OK I'm updating this.

As a last ditch attempt I decided to send this nob-head girl a last text to try and recover things.

I was still pissed off I got shot down so early.

So basically she said she wanted to meet me in person at the bus-stop and talk about things.

So I did, and I apologised for all the things I mentioned or thought I did wrong.It went down well.

After work we go out for a coffee as "FRIENDS." She was still adamant that's all we are.

Now after spending some time with her I realised a couple of things.

She was seeing someone as an on/off on the side when she was interacting with me! That pissed me off, but of course i didn't react.

Again her body language was all wrong, looking straight ahead and never at me.

She almost mentioned why we would never be anything more than friends. I think she thinks I'm 'ugly.' Ha ha stuck up bitch oh.

Despite my apparently alpha behaviour she said she didn't believe one bit of it. She knew I was really shy deep down. [FACT]

She LJBF'd me due to all the reasons most girls LJBF's someone. Not because that guy was too much of a jackass, but because they're too nice!

I know she obviously responds to dick-heads from my interaction with her. She only became more responsive to me when I negged her and went on about my ex's. Her body language changed and she pointed her feet towards mine.

After coffee she organised to hang at the water fountain and just talk, then as we were leaving she said she doesn't mind hanging out, but only as mates. Then she asked if I was on facebook, and she mistakably said,'hey see you tomorrow' even though that was the last time I will see her. She's catching another bus.

So in short. I totally mis-read this girl.

I didn't fuck up for being too aggressive. I fucked up for being a pussy somewhere. Probably not going to meet her and then closed the deal. Missing the window of opportunity.

She's a bit of a prick tease, and I know now I've hit the LJBF zone things are very unlikely to change but there were little IOI's towards the end that would suggest this nob-head girl is workable.

I think the best way to handle this is to remain detached and game other girls. Jealously might flip her around.
Author:  tutankamon [ Thu Jul 09, 2009 2:58 am ]
Post subject: 
Man, you bought her a rose, you apologized for something unimportant, now you jump as she whistles and opposite of that she is seeing someone else.

Now who is alpha here?

She is the leader here and you need to change that. You need to be the chief here. Be happy, don´t be bothered. DON´T EVER APOLOGIZE AGAIN.
You wanna be a friend? Cool. (and don´t call her)

If she doesn´t call you, she´ll be out of your head sooner.
If she does, the game is back on, but you need to change.

If you cross with her at the bus stop.....act like you are just busy, happy, focused on something else....neg her once in a while, but be nice to her at the same time.
Try to be more ¨closed and mysterious¨. Right now she thinks she sees through you, and if it stays this way, you are done.
Author:  tweeby [ Thu Jul 09, 2009 6:21 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeah, I'm pissed because I give advice against the same FUCKING behaviour I've just done.

I won't call this girl, even though she asked if I was on facebook.

It's her move now. In my mind she is way too much TROUBLE.

I'm definitely not gonna be her little puppy dog that comes running to her or let her confide her problems to me.

keep gaming.
Author:  hashby [ Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
wow dude that fucking blows. And giving her a rose? AFC max core! Okay, but what you shouldve done when she gave you the LJBF is play it off later when you guys hung out as "friends" saying "you know, I dont think it could have worked between us anyways. You dont seem to be rich." or whatever. I say move on, if you really want to, freeze her out for a while then go back as ALPHA. But dont worry man, I've had the LJBF a lot and natural instinct is to act like a bitch and start qualifying urself to her. DON'T!
Author:  eskwire [ Wed Jul 15, 2009 8:12 am ]
Post subject: 
Prevention may be the antidote to LBJF.

But the cure is to go out and get laid. Better still is she sees you with your new girl.

Tweeby - go out there and have some fun - meet some new girls. 8)
Author:  anhpeter [ Wed Jul 15, 2009 8:28 am ]
Post subject: 
only the right ones say yes... forget about her
Author:  tweeby [ Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
[Big pussy alert]
Yeah, I gave in and after a week I text her, saying we should hang out again some time - Even though I was adamant I wouldn't contact her unless she contacted me first!

She text'd me back as girls do. Keeping me in the pipeline or whatever plans she has for me.

I know what I need to do. Don't contact her. This has no good end result for me.
So I'm not going to.

Bye bye, bring on the next one.
Author:  phantomxrider [ Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:58 am ]
Post subject: 
i dont think a freeze out would work - if she "just wants to be friends" than she wont be missing your attention too much.
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