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Where did I go wrong?
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Author:  Smart PUA [ Fri Jun 19, 2009 6:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Where did I go wrong?
Hi... I have a little issue with my last approach (which is also my first approach... I never tried to approach a girl, really); first of all, sorry if my english is a bit shitty, but it's not my main language.
Basically, I met a girl in college (I would rate her an 8), I approached her set, impressed her friends, got her attention, isolated her, got her number and gave her mine. She looked for me in the following days, I tried to get her interested and told her that she had to make an effort if she wanted to know more about me. We had a bit of conversation... then, this evening, I told her I had to go to work (I really had to), but that she had 5 minutes to tell me things about her to impress me. She started typing like hell about her personality traits, some random stuff, she told me she had tatoos, etc; after a couple of negs, she asked me if she could ask me a question, and I said yes.
She asked: "Are you hitting on me?"
I froze;
I tried to tell her that I had the impression that she was after me and I wanted to give her the chance to impress me (which sounded very silly), after which she simply replied "ah, ehm... sorry, I didn't want to give you the wrong impression... I have a boyfriend, etc."

I surely made a lot of mistakes... where did I go wrong in particular? What can I learn from this situation?

Thanks for your attention.
I'll provide more detail if asked.
Author:  Ezo [ Fri Jun 19, 2009 7:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Less is more.

You overnegged, you played it too cool. You were just pushing and not pulling. As for the boyfriend, it does not matter. If she would have been interested she wouldnt care about that so much. You got her interest going and then pushed her away, a girl will only go so far before she loses interest. Its like the cat string theory, if you let it catch the string it loses interest, if you put the string away in a drawer, it also loses interest... Balance man.
Author:  kasabi [ Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:37 am ]
Post subject: 
What Ezo wrote + work on demonstrating your shit instead of telling it.

For example, you don't tell a girl she has to "work to get to know you." Instead, you demonstrate your high value by being busy with your work, social group, personal interests, etc . . .and you get her to "work to get to know you" by making efforts to find some of your valuable time to meet up with you.

And tell me this, you want her to ace the "Perfect girl for me" quiz right? Then why are you giving her a "5 minute, on top of your head, write all your shit down" type of quiz? Could you even fake a quiz like this if somebody asked you? I'm surprised the girl didn't tell you to "F U" right there and then but damn, I guess some girls are crazy.

Keep in mind, your goal is to FUCK. Thus you want her to ace the test. You want her to feel as if she aced the test. So the type of "tests" you go for are, "Hey, what's your favorite restaurant in town?"

"What's your dream vacation?"

"Which bar has the best martinis?"

So instead of telling her that this is a "TEST FOR YOU TO SEE IF YOU CAN GET WITH ME." And her telling you stuff back in return, you get her to demonstrate her compatibility with you through finding similar tastes and/or differences.

Take it easy . .. she aced the test. She ALWAYS aces the test. So you reward her with high fives, hand on the thigh (while you say something like, "Holy shit, that bar is my favorite too . . .")

Go for less abrasive and more smooth . . .
Author:  Lemarc [ Sat Jun 20, 2009 10:55 am ]
Post subject: 
nice reply kasabi. I feel i just learned a little bit just now. Sometimes u forget something so small and easy, but it just takes a little reminding
Author:  Smart PUA [ Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the insight... I thought my failure started at the end (when she asked the question), but I realize that it started much earlier.
I guess I'll try to get some more experience with strangers (to improve my technique and inner game) before I get back to girls in my University (I'm pretty popular because I'm a smart guy, because I get good results without much effort and also because I help a lot of people with exams... but I completly suck at reading body language, intentions, picking up, creating sexual tension or seducing, and because I'm an average, non-descript guy... basically, I'm a natural at friendship :D both with guys and with girls... I create friendship in a matter of instants)... bottom line is, I don't want to ruin my image by failing so bad with girls in my University 'cause I'll be instantly qualified as a total loser (which I am, as a matter of fact, as long as girls are concerned).
Author:  kasabi [ Sat Jun 20, 2009 4:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
... bottom line is, I don't want to ruin my image by failing so bad with girls in my University 'cause I'll be instantly qualified as a total loser (which I am, as a matter of fact, as long as girls are concerned).
A few thoughts here Smarty Pants,

You are right about the "bottom line" . . . because let me tell you, there should be NOTHING more bottom than the fear of being "qualified as a total" loser by other total losers in some little University. You say you're a good student. Are you a good student because you fear being outcast by other honor students? Do you think the starting quarterback in your school goes to a game thinking, "Shit, I sure would hate being called a total loser by tossing an interception!" . . .

First off, you think you're already a total loser to girls. How can you get more total loser than that? There's no such thing as an F minus. Everything from here on is an improvement as long as you apply yourself.

Losers who call you "loser" will call you a loser no matter what. You can ace all your exams, bang all the chicks, win the Chemistry National Championships or become an All American football player and they will call you what ever the hell they want to call you. You're a man . . . live your life like one.

Forget practice. . . If you open 5 girls, do you think you have it in you to score at least one of those girls? Fine . . . a few idiots might talk behind your back that you crashed with four chicks, (I have no idea why anybody with any life would even care. . .) but you got yourself a few dates and girl(s) are sucking your cock. What the hell do you care?
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