PUA Forum :: A bad night out

Some of my nights out are really hit and miss. Sometimes my game is really on and it works great. Other times it doesn't work...

I took a couple buddies out to the bars tonight.

We each opened some sets and they went decently. Nothing great but some good responses, none of us went for number close though.

Here are my problems:

One of the girls was not responding to me at all. We played a volleyball game at this bar that has a sand court. me 1 HB on my team, HB on another team and bunch of dudes. I kept negging this girl. "man that was a terrible serve!. You played highschool volleyball??!" She wouldn't even respond. She was straight up ignoring what i was saying. "when i negged her on her high fives she even didn't say anything" I told her if we won she had to buy my buddy a drink for his bday. She said she didn't carry any money and that her cousin was buying her drinks... wtf?

We went to another bar. There was a 3 set of women. i sat next to them and looked over saying what's up to the one nearest to me (i didn't do a nervous smile or anything. i was relaxed). The girl just looked at me and then turned around. So I said to her

Me: "what are you drinking?".
HB: long island iced tea (immediately turns around and shuts me out)

some minutes go by and she and her 3 friends order waters

Me: "You guys just come here and order waters?"
Her: Does this look like a water? (not even smiling at all obviously annoyed)
Me: (not knowing what to say) Yes.
Her: No it doesnt
Me: Why are you acting like all you drink is water. You just told me you have a long island iced tea (admittedly this didn't even make sense to say, but i had nothing at that point)
Her: I know i did
Me: (I look over to a guy standing next to her - looks like a friend) Is she always this way? Mean to new people?
Him: (Shrugs his shoulders)
Her: Are you always this way?
Me: Yes.
Her: WOW (eye roll) shut out

It bothered me to say the least. I know i didn't play it too well but i thought my frame was strong enough that what i was saying didn't matter too much. I tried to talk to one of my buddies about it trying to analyze the game behind it, another buddy that didn't understand game overheard and accused me of being insecure.

It was just one giantly annoying night. I think next time I sarge I'm going to do it alone.

Anyway I don't know how exactly to deal with this or what to do. I know I'm not supposed to have an emotional relationship with the outcome of my actions. But at 3am when a drunk 8 shot you down and you're sober, it's tough.

Any help appreciated

CPT

Author:	callmecaptain [ Sun Jun 07, 2009 10:04 am ]
Post subject:	A bad night out
Some of my nights out are really hit and miss. Sometimes my game is really on and it works great. Other times it doesn't work... I took a couple buddies out to the bars tonight. We each opened some sets and they went decently. Nothing great but some good responses, none of us went for number close though. Here are my problems: One of the girls was not responding to me at all. We played a volleyball game at this bar that has a sand court. me 1 HB on my team, HB on another team and bunch of dudes. I kept negging this girl. "man that was a terrible serve!. You played highschool volleyball??!" She wouldn't even respond. She was straight up ignoring what i was saying. "when i negged her on her high fives she even didn't say anything" I told her if we won she had to buy my buddy a drink for his bday. She said she didn't carry any money and that her cousin was buying her drinks... wtf? We went to another bar. There was a 3 set of women. i sat next to them and looked over saying what's up to the one nearest to me (i didn't do a nervous smile or anything. i was relaxed). The girl just looked at me and then turned around. So I said to her Me: "what are you drinking?". HB: long island iced tea (immediately turns around and shuts me out) some minutes go by and she and her 3 friends order waters Me: "You guys just come here and order waters?" Her: Does this look like a water? (not even smiling at all obviously annoyed) Me: (not knowing what to say) Yes. Her: No it doesnt Me: Why are you acting like all you drink is water. You just told me you have a long island iced tea (admittedly this didn't even make sense to say, but i had nothing at that point) Her: I know i did Me: (I look over to a guy standing next to her - looks like a friend) Is she always this way? Mean to new people? Him: (Shrugs his shoulders) Her: Are you always this way? Me: Yes. Her: WOW (eye roll) shut out It bothered me to say the least. I know i didn't play it too well but i thought my frame was strong enough that what i was saying didn't matter too much. I tried to talk to one of my buddies about it trying to analyze the game behind it, another buddy that didn't understand game overheard and accused me of being insecure. It was just one giantly annoying night. I think next time I sarge I'm going to do it alone. Anyway I don't know how exactly to deal with this or what to do. I know I'm not supposed to have an emotional relationship with the outcome of my actions. But at 3am when a drunk 8 shot you down and you're sober, it's tough. Any help appreciated CPT

Author:	Mr E [ Sun Jun 07, 2009 10:25 am ]
Post subject:
Hi, I guess it is easy after a really bad night to take everything personally and lose your inner game. From a third person perspective I guess, it wouldn't be difficult to just think, "well, I am not gonna allow some drunk babe to determine how good I feel about myself" but when you have been just shut down by some bitch who doesn't even wanto to give you the time of day it hurts. well, dude, I probably will be going alone, on Friday and Saturday and my plan of action is to hit the dance floor and mingle there. I cant dance to save my life but I just think it better to be there than at the bar. Will let you know how it goes. take it easy bro and whatever you do, dont beat up on yourself.

Author:	David~ [ Sun Jun 07, 2009 11:03 am ]
Post subject:
Unless you learn to have fun no matter what... Get used to it.

Author:	Jav [ Sun Jun 07, 2009 11:17 am ]
Post subject:
try focusing on the things you did well that night, not the bad things. on the cold girls I usually go:"If you're gonna be lame then stay home next time" and walk off. My time is valuable

Author:	Jaybot [ Sun Jun 07, 2009 7:08 pm ]
Post subject:
There are two ways that this can be advantageous depending on what type of person you are and how solid your inner game is. Reading this it looks shakey so I would forget about the night and think of it as an off night hey everyone has them, I'm sure even the pros do. Or you can analyze the mistakes you made without getting too down be thankful for the feedback from the women and learn from it. Set 1, this is a basic one but took me ages to get, sounds like you said more negative things than positive, so she will associate negativity with you and be closed to your advances. This is probably why she didn't respond. A good way to tackle this is not to neg or tease for a while and see how it goes. In the set you could have focused on the good for some Micro looping and created an us vs them. The 2nd set, your fist line sadly sounded like the lead up to what most guys ask her "can I buy you a drink" she probably assumed that was where you were going with it so went cold. You then were affected by this and responded negatively again the negativity escalated in set. All in all I would lay of the negs/teasing for a little while and try weaving micro loops into your game eg in 1st set "awesome shot hi five" "we are owning them, time for a team hustle" etc But don't worry dude all time in the field is good, so yar you are doing good keep up the hard work and soon they will be eating from your hands

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Author:	callmecaptain [ Sun Jun 07, 2009 8:22 pm ]
Post subject:
Wow thanks for all the responses guys. Where can I learn more about Microlooping? I like that line Jav. Besch - brief and simple but you're absolutely correct. It makes sense CPT

Author:	Jaybot [ Sun Jun 07, 2009 8:31 pm ]
Post subject:
Mehow's material is where it all is but I can sum it up quickly for you. The idea is that if you give a girl value ( a compliment etc) you can make a request and it will be fulfilled. So I could be talking to a girl she says something I say its cute or that I love it (give value) then say something like gimme a hug or high five her etc. It is kinda hard to get into depth but that is the premise of it, you can use it to do all sorts. It is well worth buying mehows books or looking for forum posts explaining it because there are more advanced bit but for now knowing if you give value you can take something should do you good.

Author:	Fin [ Sun Jun 07, 2009 8:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: A bad night out
Quote: Some of my nights out are really hit and miss. Sometimes my game is really on and it works great. Other times it doesn't work... I took a couple buddies out to the bars tonight. We each opened some sets and they went decently. Nothing great but some good responses, none of us went for number close though. Here are my problems: One of the girls was not responding to me at all. We played a volleyball game at this bar that has a sand court. me 1 HB on my team, HB on another team and bunch of dudes. I kept negging this girl. "man that was a terrible serve!. You played highschool volleyball??!" She wouldn't even respond. She was straight up ignoring what i was saying. "when i negged her on her high fives she even didn't say anything" I told her if we won she had to buy my buddy a drink for his bday. She said she didn't carry any money and that her cousin was buying her drinks... wtf? We went to another bar. There was a 3 set of women. i sat next to them and looked over saying what's up to the one nearest to me (i didn't do a nervous smile or anything. i was relaxed). The girl just looked at me and then turned around. So I said to her Me: "what are you drinking?". HB: long island iced tea (immediately turns around and shuts me out) some minutes go by and she and her 3 friends order waters Me: "You guys just come here and order waters?" Her: Does this look like a water? (not even smiling at all obviously annoyed) Me: (not knowing what to say) Yes. Her: No it doesnt Me: Why are you acting like all you drink is water. You just told me you have a long island iced tea (admittedly this didn't even make sense to say, but i had nothing at that point) Her: I know i did Me: (I look over to a guy standing next to her - looks like a friend) Is she always this way? Mean to new people? Him: (Shrugs his shoulders) Her: Are you always this way? Me: Yes. Her: WOW (eye roll) shut out It bothered me to say the least. I know i didn't play it too well but i thought my frame was strong enough that what i was saying didn't matter too much. I tried to talk to one of my buddies about it trying to analyze the game behind it, another buddy that didn't understand game overheard and accused me of being insecure. It was just one giantly annoying night. I think next time I sarge I'm going to do it alone. Anyway I don't know how exactly to deal with this or what to do. I know I'm not supposed to have an emotional relationship with the outcome of my actions. But at 3am when a drunk 8 shot you down and you're sober, it's tough. Any help appreciated CPT Did you smile at all on set two... It seems like your problem is negativity.

Author:	David~ [ Mon Jun 08, 2009 2:13 am ]
Post subject:
Fuck all material. You did what you thought was the right thing to do, and that is all you can do. Learn to have fun and enjoy the process of growing. You will eventually learn to calibrate to situations through fuck ups. Just have your fun.

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