PUA Forum :: What to do without a wingman?

Hey...

this is pretty simple issue. I've got out of VERY long relationship (almost 7 years) and obviously I feel rusty. The problem is, that I'm in a new place and I don't have so many friends and I don't have ANY possible wingman... What do you do in that case? I know what I should do, but how should I handle my need of some kind of support/wingman?

Quote:

Go without a wing. I know it seems scary at first but the only way to get over that fear is to confront it. As you do it more and get comfortable the fear will start to subside. Also your best game will be when you're solo gaming. A wing can actually hold you back more than anything and give you excuses for not approaching women. If you're by yourself then you have no choice. Good luck.

Quote:

Wrong........about going alone. I remember last year, I went to the University Centre (the campus hangout, of sorts) with the intentions of talking to girls and possibly getting numbers but then I just shyed up (even with the basic "hellos" at times) and went home after about an hour (or a little after).

I DO agree that having someone with you can put pressure on you to go for it and how that would cause one to fail as well.

Author:	ikosinko [ Sun May 17, 2009 2:12 am ]
Post subject:	What to do without a wingman?
Hey... this is pretty simple issue. I've got out of VERY long relationship (almost 7 years) and obviously I feel rusty. The problem is, that I'm in a new place and I don't have so many friends and I don't have ANY possible wingman... What do you do in that case? I know what I should do, but how should I handle my need of some kind of support/wingman?

Author:	Devious One [ Sun May 17, 2009 2:20 am ]
Post subject:
I understand the value of a wingman, but a true player, does it all on his own. If you want to really find yourself, you need to venture out on your own. Devious One

Author:	ikosinko [ Sun May 17, 2009 2:25 am ]
Post subject:
I know that mate... But as I said... I don't feel like a true player right now (and probably I'm not) and need something/someone to push me. And I don't want to wait until the time will be the thing which pushes me.

Author:	luchini [ Sun May 17, 2009 2:28 am ]
Post subject:
Hey man Im in the same boat as you. All my good friends have serious girlfriends so they dont have time to hang out much anymore or wing. Im thinking of doing solo tonight and trying to work some day game tomorrow.

Author:	JohnyZulu [ Sun May 17, 2009 2:53 am ]
Post subject:
You have a few options. Motivation? Someone to push you? Look in the mirror. If that doesn't work for you than do it so you can come back and share your field reports with all of us. We will support and push you. Make some new friends. Even if you just make a friend for the night, go up to a group of guys and open them just like any other set. Women like men who lead men. I've done this before. Talk about sports or anything. Once you are in, I can't think of many guys that will be apposed to trying to pick up chicks up with you. Finally, maybe post in the forum for meeting up with other people from the community where you are and that you're looking for some other people to Sarge with. At the end of the day, you just need to get out there and pull the trigger man. Push yourself, for yourself before time becomes your biggest motivation. Do it for the fun of the game! Best of luck.

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Author:	ikosinko [ Sun May 24, 2009 10:40 pm ]
Post subject:
Just to let you know that: 1 - it helped at least a bit 2 - and more important... very good motivation is moving here. brother of my ex

Author:	The Mutant [ Mon May 25, 2009 1:35 am ]
Post subject:
and don't be afraid to chunk it down. Go to a mall and just keep saying hi to people. Once that starts getting boring and your not getting a rush out of it, its time to move onto the next thing. Add a neg. "Hey" then "what did you get me" pointing to the bag they are carrying from a store in the mall. Then once that gets boring time for more adrenalin. Get them to stop start a convo ect ect. It's addictive man once you really start having fun with it it's like skydiving! I'm getting to the point where a little bit of bitchyness is great because it makes my adrenalin fire, and I get this big ass smile on my face. My best two peices of advise I can give: 1) Only spend time on here or reading pua when your stuck. Don't read obsessivly unless your helping others. 2) Talk to everyone everywhere all the time. Don't stop being friendly or guenuine, doesn't matter race, age, religion. People start stopping you to talk because you have such a posative vibe

Author:	macstars [ Tue May 26, 2009 11:51 pm ]
Post subject:
I have to say i have taken in as much theory as i can, going to do the mall trick myself. I was wondering who actually is thinking of doing a bootcamp?

Author:	erttfgukh2345600 [ Wed May 27, 2009 12:05 am ]
Post subject:	Re: What to do without a wingman?
Quote: Hey... this is pretty simple issue. I've got out of VERY long relationship (almost 7 years) and obviously I feel rusty. The problem is, that I'm in a new place and I don't have so many friends and I don't have ANY possible wingman... What do you do in that case? I know what I should do, but how should I handle my need of some kind of support/wingman? Go without a wing. I know it seems scary at first but the only way to get over that fear is to confront it. As you do it more and get comfortable the fear will start to subside. Also your best game will be when you're solo gaming. A wing can actually hold you back more than anything and give you excuses for not approaching women. If you're by yourself then you have no choice. Good luck.

Author:	Antithesis [ Wed May 27, 2009 4:50 am ]
Post subject:
There's nothing wrong with gaming solo. If you really feel you need a wing, you can deputize guys you meet at the event to help you out. I remember one night I was out on my own at a club and I saw a group of girls I want to approach. There were four of them huddled closely and only one of me, but nearby there was a pair of guys who were clearly interested in the group of girls. I introduced myself to the two guys and in a minute explained to them our common interest how if we worked together we stood a better chance of approaching the group. My courage and energy made them brave and soon we made our approach with me at the tip of the sword with them trailing close behind. I introduced both guys having met them minutes before and that's how the set opened. This is great because: 1. when you recruit other guys to game with you, you become the Alpha male of the new group you form. A big IHV. 2. The other guys are disposable; if they don't work out in the set you can always drop them and go. 3. If they do work out you can keep them and work together for the night, or even future events. 4. If you strike out, the group just disperses and you're on your own as you were before; no harm no foul. To me recruited guys are like cannon fodder soldiers. I talk them up at the introduction, but after that they're on their own merits. One of the guys got shy/struck out and walked away to get a drink. When he came back he hovered in and out of the conversations. The other guy held up a conversation with one of the girls, and I was left with two and then three girls. Still better odds than trying to tackle all four on my own at once, and by the other two guys behavior/lack of experience they made me look like the top dog. I left with a kiss and a number.

Author:	Corey [ Wed May 27, 2009 4:59 am ]
Post subject:	Re: What to do without a wingman?
Quote: Quote: Hey... this is pretty simple issue. I've got out of VERY long relationship (almost 7 years) and obviously I feel rusty. The problem is, that I'm in a new place and I don't have so many friends and I don't have ANY possible wingman... What do you do in that case? I know what I should do, but how should I handle my need of some kind of support/wingman? Go without a wing. I know it seems scary at first but the only way to get over that fear is to confront it. As you do it more and get comfortable the fear will start to subside. Also your best game will be when you're solo gaming. A wing can actually hold you back more than anything and give you excuses for not approaching women. If you're by yourself then you have no choice. Good luck. Wrong........about going alone. I remember last year, I went to the University Centre (the campus hangout, of sorts) with the intentions of talking to girls and possibly getting numbers but then I just shyed up (even with the basic "hellos" at times) and went home after about an hour (or a little after). I DO agree that having someone with you can put pressure on you to go for it and how that would cause one to fail as well.

Author:	Antithesis [ Wed May 27, 2009 5:35 am ]
Post subject:	Re: What to do without a wingman?
Quote: Quote: Quote: Hey... this is pretty simple issue. I've got out of VERY long relationship (almost 7 years) and obviously I feel rusty. The problem is, that I'm in a new place and I don't have so many friends and I don't have ANY possible wingman... What do you do in that case? I know what I should do, but how should I handle my need of some kind of support/wingman? Go without a wing. I know it seems scary at first but the only way to get over that fear is to confront it. As you do it more and get comfortable the fear will start to subside. Also your best game will be when you're solo gaming. A wing can actually hold you back more than anything and give you excuses for not approaching women. If you're by yourself then you have no choice. Good luck. Wrong........about going alone. I remember last year, I went to the University Centre (the campus hangout, of sorts) with the intentions of talking to girls and possibly getting numbers but then I just shyed up (even with the basic "hellos" at times) and went home after about an hour (or a little after). I DO agree that having someone with you can put pressure on you to go for it and how that would cause one to fail as well. I disagree. If you go out with the wrong wing, their insecurities can pull you down. Also there's the added pressure of "I don't want to fail in front of my friend". If you fail on your own, nobody notices but you. Sorry to hear about you clamming up like that at the University, but one bad experience soloing should not define soloing for you or anybody else. Soloing has gotten me some of the best experience thus so far. You're free to come and go and approach as you please. Let's not forget that women are much more likely to initiate if they see a guy they're attracted to on his own.

Author:	Cock_roach [ Wed May 27, 2009 5:37 am ]
Post subject:
Ikosinko... try day-game if you don't have a wingman. I, for example, don't even plan to sarge with a wingman, I prefer doing on my own. It can be done. Wingman is good in certain situation (especially sets), but he iks nobody who you can't live without.

Author:	Jaybot [ Wed May 27, 2009 7:33 am ]
Post subject:
I prefer going alone (most wings just tread on my toes) but a good way to get motivated is to keep a diary and try and write up 300 approaches. I haven't been in the field for a week or two now and am like shit I gotta get back out or else I will never finish my 300 approach challenge, dumb but works and helps you identify weaknesses in your game

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Author:	onato123 [ Wed May 27, 2009 9:34 am ]
Post subject:
I know a natural who is at Leeds university. When I say a natural I mean he is incredible at picking up beautiful consistently and has never read any form of game material. If you really want someone to go out with - he owes me a favour and I could probably sort something out.