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still dwelling on the past
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Author:  cookery [ Sun May 10, 2009 12:29 pm ]
Post subject:  still dwelling on the past
I got over my ex but i'm still very confused over what happened. I want to understand what happened, not as an attempt to help me forget coz i don't give two shits anymore about her, but more to know how a girl thinks and never fall again in that trap. The truth is, i did not learn from this experience and i'm asking for help.
So basically i've dated this girl for 2 months. I broke up once, and she came back to me 2 weeks later. Then she broke up the day after i told her i Love her. I didn't love her, but i had feelings and was fuckin physically attracted to her. Its the sort of girl u notice in college and u're like damn she's fuckin hot i'll never get with her hehe. So the love word was a desperate attempt to make her fall for me coz i was feeling she was going distant.
A year after the break up, we started seeing each other frequently, and i told her how i felt about her ( example : when i see you my heart starts beating crazy, etc...) and she said she felt the same way. So i said let's get back together, and she said its not worth it coz it didn't work in the first place. I said we can try hanging out more often and she agreed. She invited me to go clubbin with her on the week-end. I came late and saw her makin out with another guy. So i left the club ( she didn't see me in the club), and messaged her telling her she's a lier, and that i had a threesome 2 weeks ago so she shouldn't feel so confident ( its true i did). Note that when i did the threesome, we hadn't shared any of our feelings yet, and I didn't feel like I was "cheating" on her. So basically I see her the next day, we talk about it and she tells me that the guy is only someone she gets drunk with and has fun, but I am someone she can maintain an interesting conversation with. So i tell her: One is for the sex and the other for the emotions?? wtf. She insisted that she does have feelings for me eventhough i kept telling her she was a narcisstic egocentric girl who wants all the attention around her, and that she could have simply told me she doesn't feel the same way back. She messaged me the next day excusing herself over what happened, I don't answer. She messages me on facebook saying its not fair i'm not answering : so i told her enjoy getting drunk this week-end and the consequences of the latter as well. A week after this, She proposed we go skiing together. I rejected her proposition, and never talked to her again, telling her i'm gonna forget about her. Btw, the guy was not a random dude, she keeps seeing him and has been making out with him ( and other stuff maybe ) for a month prior to the incident. What pisses me off is that when we were together, we barely french kissed after one month!
Are women this cruel? I mean i'm a guy and if I don't like a girl i'll tell her to fuck off. But i get this vibe that girls enjoy having 'doggies' running after her, and will insist on doing so even after getting caught fucking around with some other person. Or did she really have deep feelings for me??? i doubt it.
What the hell happened????
PS : its been almost 5 months since i caught her in the club and didn't see her for 4 months, but I'm still intrigued over what happened, i'd really appreciate some input here. THank you
Author:  Roy Hobbs [ Tue May 12, 2009 4:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: still dwelling on the past
Quote:
Then she broke up the day after i told her i Love her. I didn't love her, but i had feelings and was fuckin physically attracted to her.
Don't be the first to say I love you. You can love and care for women, but leave it to the women to evaluate what it all means.
Quote:
Its the sort of girl u notice in college and u're like damn she's fuckin hot i'll never get with her hehe.
You pedestalled her from the get go.
Quote:
So the love word was a desperate attempt to make her fall for me coz i was feeling she was going distant.
You used the perfect word: desperate. That's how you were coming off to her.
Quote:
A year after the break up, we started seeing each other frequently, and i told her how i felt about her ( example : when i see you my heart starts beating crazy, etc...)

You're chasing her again. What happens when you get chased? You run away from whatever's chasing you.
Quote:
and she said she felt the same way.

She wasn't being truthful.
Quote:
So i said let's get back together, and she said its not worth it coz it didn't work in the first place. I said we can try hanging out more often and she agreed.

Despite what this meant to you, it comes off to me as, "well, I can't get you, so can I be your friend until I can convince you otherwise?".
Quote:
She invited me to go clubbin with her on the week-end. I came late and saw her makin out with another guy. So i left the club ( she didn't see me in the club), and messaged her telling her she's a lier,
Coming off extremely jealous at this point.
Quote:
i had a threesome 2 weeks ago so she shouldn't feel so confident ( its true i did).
You're acting very jealous at this point and why shouldn't she feel so confident?
Quote:
she tells me that the guy is only someone she gets drunk with and has fun
And fucks, probably. You should rather be that guy than jealous and needy.
Quote:
but I am someone she can maintain an interesting conversation with. So i tell her: One is for the sex and the other for the emotions?? wtf. She insisted that she does have feelings for me eventhough i kept telling her she was a narcisstic egocentric girl who wants all the attention around her, and that she could have simply told me she doesn't feel the same way back. She messaged me the next day excusing herself over what happened, I don't answer. She messages me on facebook saying its not fair i'm not answering : so i told her enjoy getting drunk this week-end and the consequences of the latter as well. A week after this, She proposed we go skiing together. I rejected her proposition, and never talked to her again, telling her i'm gonna forget about her. Btw, the guy was not a random dude, she keeps seeing him and has been making out with him ( and other stuff maybe ) for a month prior to the incident. What pisses me off is that when we were together, we barely french kissed after one month!
Are women this cruel? I mean i'm a guy and if I don't like a girl i'll tell her to fuck off. But i get this vibe that girls enjoy having 'doggies' running after her, and will insist on doing so even after getting caught fucking around with some other person. Or did she really have deep feelings for me??? i doubt it.
What the hell happened????
PS : its been almost 5 months since i caught her in the club and didn't see her for 4 months, but I'm still intrigued over what happened, i'd really appreciate some input here. THank you
Alright cookery, here's what happened: You were AFC (Average Frustrated Chump). They'll always end up being on girls leashes and always end up in the "let's just be friends zone" because, truth be told, they're too easy.

Women look for the best possible man to date. It goes back to tribal times. Why date your average man who isn't really a good hunter when you can date the tribal leader who every woman is after?

You have to stop chasing her. You're the prize here, remember? She needs to work her schedule around you and she needs to be the one who gets jealous when you talk to other women.

You're NOT going to seduce her with pity. Don't think you can get her to feel sorry for you to the point where she likes you. It's very unattractive for a man to do this.

You need a shot of confidence. You have to strut around knowing that you are a very confident man. There are plenty of ways to get this confidence. Becoming more outgoing surrounding yourself with other confident people is one. One of the ways I acquired great confidence is simply working out more. I began lifting weights and my confidence, to this day, is unshakable.

Kicking somebody out of your life is a good way to forget about somebody, but an even better way is to replace her. I've never had a woman in my life that I couldn't forget by simply replacing her with an even hotter one.

I'm really just repeating key points that community can teach you. Go look around the forums for articles and try educating yourself on the power of confidence and being an alpha-male.

You can recover from this, no problem, but only if you put in an effort to change yourself.


- Roy
Author:  Conker [ Wed May 13, 2009 12:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: still dwelling on the past
Quote:
I've never had a woman in my life that I couldn't forget by simply replacing her with an even hotter one.
Never fails :)
Author:  Aprilyapalovera [ Wed May 13, 2009 8:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Don't fall on the trap, she is not a type for long term GF.
Author:  havocc [ Wed May 13, 2009 8:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Roy had a lot of good points I agree with.

Basically you had a girl that you could of easily turned into a FB (she's not worth a LTR) but you fucked it up by saying and doing stupid shit. Take this one as a lesson and move on.
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