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| My ex will be there... With her boyfriend... What to do??? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=44829 |
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| Author: | oluap [ Sat May 09, 2009 6:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | My ex will be there... With her boyfriend... What to do??? |
Ok, I'm telling you the story of my life, but... I think this is neccessary... I'm really depressed, so I will appreciate any assistance... Oh, and Sorry about my bad english... Here's my problem... I don't like people... People think I'm too gentle and lovely and respectful, yadayadayada, but I don't like most of them, I don't hate them, the fact is that I just fit and feel comfortable with some kind of people that look like me... most of the girls of my town are futile, ignorant... Anyway, one day, I liked a girl, really liked her, she was one of that rare human beens that looks like me, she wasnt futile, she was intelectual, that was surprising, I was actually liking someone, and we spent the most wonderful 2 years of... my life... together... but, she decided that she was going to move to a really far town, with her aunt, to study... thats ok the college there is great, we broke up... then... she became too cold before leaving... she was supposed to be there for the rest of her life... sometimes she looked jealous on the internet... oh and she said that she wanted to play my new wii and asked if i still have her music on pc to hear when she came back in vacation... I was kinda mad with her and was a little rude, but not too much... she came back 5 months, in vacation, I didnt know what to do, so I didnt even huged her like a normal human being... I then discovered that she was going to stay forever (a friend of her told me) then I was on a dilemma... try to go back with her or not? I decided that I would talk to her... Later... then... my friends was going to watch some movies, but I asked them to play videogame at my house first... so... they came here and stayed so much time, that their friends had to wait... so I discovered that their friends were my ex and a friend of them... so... i made the connection "two single opposite sex individuals together watching a movie" DAMN! I tried not to think about that for a month, then a discovered that they were dating... so I wrote a stupid letter to her... ok, it was the most magnific letter she will receive in her entire life... really (now I know how stupid writing letters is... but it was a masterpiece, really, I'm an excelent writer (on my native language at least)) no effect... She said she forgot me on that 5 months, and can stay with someon she don't like, and that I wasnt giving a shit about her before she kiss the new boyfriend... but I dont believe, she was jealous, she probably was indecise when I wrote the letter (her friend said that she took a lot of time to tell her)... i did all that stuff we can't do... soooo.... she moved one year ago... It was a long long time... now she's back, with some other guy that I know... and I know he's a pervert and like to tell everyone about the girls he had sex with... A friend of my ex told that she was missing me someday... and I saw my ex last week and she asked me where I was and where I was going... All this time and I still like her... And hate her... But while I think on her all day long, she is with that guy... And she looked really special, I tried to move on but dont like any of the other girls I kissed after her... We had a nice friendship story and she changes me for the first single guy she met... Why was she so jealous? Well, this depression thing made me read lots of books and discover all this PUA community and stuff... It helped me a little with the shyness, but I didn had the time to practice too much and get some real "action". I really want her back.. I know that some guys will say that she dont deserve me, but it was sort of my fault, I didnt do anything when she came back... and i can say for sure that I'm one of the best guys she would ever met... I'm handsome, I'm creative and lots of stuff, I can say for sure that I will never cheat anyone... so I think she is trowing a great guy in the garbage can... the problem is that her new boyfriend is more "confident looking" than me... Anyway... Tomorrow my friend is giving a birthady party, my ex will be there, with her boyfriend, I never saw them together... That will hurt a lot... What can I do? Go there take the risks to become even more depressed but show her that it was overcomed? Or stay home? Oh, and, what can I do if I go? Do you guys have some tips for this kind of situation? Thank you! |
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| Author: | Ezo [ Sat May 09, 2009 10:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Your problems are far worse than what to say or do. It is about your attitude. You dont like people... What gives you the right to judge anyone? Sounds like you have a streak of arrogance in you, probably as a self defense mechanism. Try to accept people and you might get started on your way into social life... |
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| Author: | oluap [ Sat May 09, 2009 2:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yeah, I know that it sounds like arrogance, I'm trying to change that... Really, but I don't think their inferior, just don't fit around them... I tried to have relationship with all kinds of girls but only succeeded with the same kind... But I'm working on it... Thanks for answering 
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| Author: | Ezo [ Sat May 09, 2009 5:57 pm ] |
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Man... Im saying that you are trying to protect yourself by acting arrogant. I think that you are gonna need to find out who you are before accepting that you do not fit with everybody else... What is the reason for it? |
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| Author: | JohnyZulu [ Sun May 10, 2009 3:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I'm not going to say that you're arrogant or judgmental or anything like that. It's not the way I see it. I think you don't like people as a defense mechanism to prevent rejection because in reality you're a little insecure. Why else would you say this guy looks more confident? That means you don't, which means you're insecure. Don't take offense to that, I am the same way. We all are. Girls are too. I use comedy to mask my insecurities (it's common, I know). You remind me of a conversation I was having with my neighbor the other day in which he said he needed a break from his girlfriend. He said she was driving him crazy and he just needed a break. That he finally realized all girls are the same, and it's pointless. At first I said I know the feeling, the cycle. You meet a girl, fall for her, get butterflies, fall in love, break up, you're depressed and think you'll never meet another girl like her again... and then you meet another girl and the cycle repeats. That's how I see it. He agreed. The main thing I tried to tell him in this conversation though, was that his view of being "done with it" was wrong. Because at the end of the day, who is better off? The lonely man who sits in the corner because he knows it's a vicious cycle, or the guy who goes out there and has all of that love and fun, and deals with the bad times in between? If you don't go out there, you're always in that bad place. I think tha'ts where you are my friend, and it is no place to be. You have to take risks, and you might get hurt, but isn't it worth it? You need to find yourself. All of the good qualities you listed about yourself are wonderful. So embrace them, and become happy and confident. Improve them, people will be attracted to your passion, no matter what it is for. For example, look at the beginning of Mission Impossible 3. Tom Cruise is talking to a guy and two girls about his work studying traffic patterns. He says it's amazing how traffic has a memory, blah, blah, blah, but he is very into talking about and very passionate. He excuses himself and the AFC guy tries to say how boring he is by a big fake drawn-out yawn. The girl turn to each other instantly and say "I'd marry him!" The point is that part of being attractive, part of being an AMOG is confidence and that comes from passion and having a strong frame. If you love what you do, people will love it too. I would go to the party, talk to your ex and talk to her boyfriend. Smile, be friendly, and don't try to pick her up. I repeat, DON'T TRY TO PICK HER UP. Just socialize, be nice and positive, talk about good things in your life and befriend people. Maybe you can learn from this guy, I mean, she is with him (I know that hurts, but it's a fact of life). And I know how much it hurts. I just saw my ex of 2 and a half years on Tuesday night for the first time in two months. We had a bad break up, but it was finally time to get closure and move on. That's what I think you need. Talk to her, and try to be friendly. Leave the possibility to stay in touch, as friends. What's worse, being her friend or driving her off and never talking to her again? I say the latter. This is tricky, but improve your frame, learn to love yourself, and try to be more outgoing. Better to be the happy fool than the lonely genius, as I told my neighbor. |
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| Author: | kasabi [ Sun May 10, 2009 3:53 am ] |
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Quote: I'm not going to say that you're arrogant or judgmental or anything like that.
I on the other hand will freely share my thoughts. The OP is an arrogant, judgmental, naive, and delusional social midget. The real problem is that you don't like your self. You don't like the fact that you can't get along with others. You don't like the fact that you're not confident and you don't like that you're "shy". You don't like that you have absolutely no game and you lost your precious little girl without even putting up even a hint of a fight. Admitting your short comings, identifying your problems, strategizing a solution, and executing a plan would be the actions that a self respecting man would take for himself. But you have no balls. . . So, you blame all your problems on everybody else. 1. You don't get along with others so "they are futile and ignorant". 2. You're writing skills are TERRIBLE, thus your letter couldn't have worked. But you merely blame the girl and convince yourself that it is her who is throwing a great guy away. (No, she's kicking a delusional depressing kid to the curb) 3. You even blame your AFC tendencies on "lacking time" to practice. Are you kidding me? Dude, wake the fuck up. How do you expect to improve yourself when you don't think you need improvement? How do you expect to get better when you think you are already the best? Go ahead and write whatever the hell you want to write on an anonymous forum. But if you want to "improve" yourself, look in the mirror and at the very least admit to yourself that you suck with certain things. Be specific. Then you'll at least have points with your own life that you can begin to improve. Admitting to yourself that you suck with certain things is NOT self hatred. Lying to yourself is self hatred. Admitting to yourself that you suck is self love. You are telling yourself that you love yourself enough to recognize your faults, accept them, and willing to WORK to improve yourself. Unless you can do this, there is absolutely no point in trying to learn "techniques". No amount of, "Hey, can I have your opinion?" lines will help you. Don't waste your life away in your little fantasy land. Stay at home until you're ready to face the World as a man. |
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| Author: | JohnyZulu [ Sun May 10, 2009 5:06 am ] |
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Kasabi, that was a bit harsh. I agree with what you said, and I think if you read my post (you quoted it after all) you would see that we said the same things, more or less. I just find that when people are depressed, tough love isn't the best route. Constructive criticism might be a little more effective. And insulting his writing skills? Well that's just flaming bro, you might have noticed if you read HIS post (since you responded to it, after all) that he says English isn't his first language. Isn't the whole idea of forums such as this to help one another? I know there was a message in your post Kasabi, I can see it. But I think the hostility toward the beginning overshadows the message. |
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