PUA Forum :: F-d up on Cocky Funny..

i probably just let this go... i understand that you shouldn't say "sorry" or "apologize".. the way DC said it was good coz it is indirect...

but i am just going to let this go.. it's not that i have a one-itis for her or anything.. i mean when she sees me in the hallway she still waves, like a 5 year old kid all shy.. basically sayin it's discreet.. whatever.. if the time presents itself again.. i'll "aplogize" but i'm not going to go out of my way for that.. !

Quote:

a simple piece of advise most people dont put thought into, its best to keep the relationships you do have positive, you never know, for example, when this person may be in a position to better you, perhaps introduce you to someone, be used as a pivot or even larger helping in achieving a life goal.

I agree, that going out of your way to only apologize is not always the best approach, however it tends to be the sooner its done, the less there is a negative seed in that persons mind that may hinder the process of going back to a normal relationship.

If you really want to leave her better than you found her... you need to apologize to her.

I'm not saying that will fix the relationship, but she does deserve an apology. Just tell her she's a great person because of X, Y, and Z, an that you're sorry if you hurt her feelings.

S

Quote:

Everyone has thier own way of apologizing, personally i dont ever use the word apologize or sorry, just they way im built, yet it may work for other people depending on he stage of the relationship. One point Sinn made that was not mentioned in my earlier post was the complements, its agreed 100% to throw them in somewhere.

i do the whole "not my intention" apology then cut thread to compliments "you seem or i sense that your a such and such person"

sometimes ill even throw in the whole boundaries speech "relationships are a unique thing, we each have boundaries, i feel i crossed one with you, but known peoples boundaries can only strengthen the relationship."

put it before, after or where you feel comfortable, all three of these can be interchanged and linked to a great meaningful apology that never uses the words sorry or apologize.

Quote:

If I didn't know better I'd say you were scared of apologising.

Author:	Majishan [ Mon May 04, 2009 6:25 pm ]
Post subject:	F-d up on Cocky Funny..
Okay.. I know this is going to be ridiculous but i'm going to post it anyways.. let me make this clear that i'm not even trying to get with this girl.. i just want to know how to act around her and take away the uneasiness that i'm feeling.. situation.. HB works at the same place that i do.. hospital so we each other down the hallway.. or whenever she needed something from my dept. anyways.. i kind of went practicing on her, being cocky funny.. just nice conversations.. and she actually was nice.. plays along or just have conversation... now there's this one time, i went a lil too far.. and straight insulted her.. i feel horrible! HB: hey you! ME: hey! i haven't seen you in a long time.. HB: I've been hiding from you.. (playin like she was hiding behind her hand) ME: yeah, you disgust me! (WHAT WAS I THINKING!) I know i shouldn't stress.. but damn.. i just feel so awkward about the whole thing.. i haven't seen her for a while, and when i do, she's still nice.. but i could tell that it wasn't like it was before.. small conversations here and there.. but she walks away.. not even stopping to say hi.. she used to actually wave at me from across the hallway just to get my attention.. now i just feel like the biggest jerk.. now the advice that i'm looking for is how to get this bad feeling out of my system.. i mean i'm not even going to try to get with her.. i just want to leave them better than when i found them..

Author:	bluemoon [ Wed May 06, 2009 1:52 pm ]
Post subject:
Just apologize to her. Throw a compliment in there, too. Make sure you let her know she's not really disgusting.

Author:	AaronW [ Wed May 06, 2009 8:39 pm ]
Post subject:
never say your sorry for being you. you can apologize, but dont do it in a direct way... hey, the other day, when i said you disgust me, that came out a little harsh, if i offended you that was never my intention. Cut thread and move on. most women will pick this up as an apology, but you never actually said the word sorry or apologize.

Author:	kasabi [ Thu May 07, 2009 5:19 am ]
Post subject:
^I believe the OP's point was that him saying "You disgust me" is NOT him. Some people say "sorry" too much. Others F up their lives by not saying it at all.

Author:	Majishan [ Thu May 07, 2009 2:59 pm ]
Post subject:
i probably just let this go... i understand that you shouldn't say "sorry" or "apologize".. the way DC said it was good coz it is indirect... but i am just going to let this go.. it's not that i have a one-itis for her or anything.. i mean when she sees me in the hallway she still waves, like a 5 year old kid all shy.. basically sayin it's discreet.. whatever.. if the time presents itself again.. i'll "aplogize" but i'm not going to go out of my way for that.. !

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Author:	AaronW [ Thu May 07, 2009 6:03 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: i probably just let this go... i understand that you shouldn't say "sorry" or "apologize".. the way DC said it was good coz it is indirect... but i am just going to let this go.. it's not that i have a one-itis for her or anything.. i mean when she sees me in the hallway she still waves, like a 5 year old kid all shy.. basically sayin it's discreet.. whatever.. if the time presents itself again.. i'll "aplogize" but i'm not going to go out of my way for that.. ! a simple piece of advise most people dont put thought into, its best to keep the relationships you do have positive, you never know, for example, when this person may be in a position to better you, perhaps introduce you to someone, be used as a pivot or even larger helping in achieving a life goal. I agree, that going out of your way to only apologize is not always the best approach, however it tends to be the sooner its done, the less there is a negative seed in that persons mind that may hinder the process of going back to a normal relationship.

Author:	Majishan [ Fri May 08, 2009 3:49 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: i probably just let this go... i understand that you shouldn't say "sorry" or "apologize".. the way DC said it was good coz it is indirect... but i am just going to let this go.. it's not that i have a one-itis for her or anything.. i mean when she sees me in the hallway she still waves, like a 5 year old kid all shy.. basically sayin it's discreet.. whatever.. if the time presents itself again.. i'll "aplogize" but i'm not going to go out of my way for that.. ! a simple piece of advise most people dont put thought into, its best to keep the relationships you do have positive, you never know, for example, when this person may be in a position to better you, perhaps introduce you to someone, be used as a pivot or even larger helping in achieving a life goal. I agree, that going out of your way to only apologize is not always the best approach, however it tends to be the sooner its done, the less there is a negative seed in that persons mind that may hinder the process of going back to a normal relationship. a very valid point.. this is probably the reason why i feel so guilty by being a jerk.. i do believe in that reason, that there might be a chance in the future that this specific person might be helping me out.. that's the reason why i always want them to feel positive whenever they think about me..

Author:	Sinn [ Fri May 08, 2009 4:02 pm ]
Post subject:
If you really want to leave her better than you found her... you need to apologize to her. I'm not saying that will fix the relationship, but she does deserve an apology. Just tell her she's a great person because of X, Y, and Z, an that you're sorry if you hurt her feelings. S

Author:	AaronW [ Fri May 08, 2009 7:29 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: If you really want to leave her better than you found her... you need to apologize to her. I'm not saying that will fix the relationship, but she does deserve an apology. Just tell her she's a great person because of X, Y, and Z, an that you're sorry if you hurt her feelings. S Everyone has thier own way of apologizing, personally i dont ever use the word apologize or sorry, just they way im built, yet it may work for other people depending on he stage of the relationship. One point Sinn made that was not mentioned in my earlier post was the complements, its agreed 100% to throw them in somewhere. i do the whole "not my intention" apology then cut thread to compliments "you seem or i sense that your a such and such person" sometimes ill even throw in the whole boundaries speech "relationships are a unique thing, we each have boundaries, i feel i crossed one with you, but known peoples boundaries can only strengthen the relationship." put it before, after or where you feel comfortable, all three of these can be interchanged and linked to a great meaningful apology that never uses the words sorry or apologize.

Author:	Fin [ Fri May 08, 2009 7:39 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: If you really want to leave her better than you found her... you need to apologize to her. I'm not saying that will fix the relationship, but she does deserve an apology. Just tell her she's a great person because of X, Y, and Z, an that you're sorry if you hurt her feelings. S Everyone has thier own way of apologizing, personally i dont ever use the word apologize or sorry, just they way im built, yet it may work for other people depending on he stage of the relationship. One point Sinn made that was not mentioned in my earlier post was the complements, its agreed 100% to throw them in somewhere. i do the whole "not my intention" apology then cut thread to compliments "you seem or i sense that your a such and such person" sometimes ill even throw in the whole boundaries speech "relationships are a unique thing, we each have boundaries, i feel i crossed one with you, but known peoples boundaries can only strengthen the relationship." put it before, after or where you feel comfortable, all three of these can be interchanged and linked to a great meaningful apology that never uses the words sorry or apologize. If I didn't know better I'd say you were scared of apologising.

Author:	AaronW [ Sat May 09, 2009 7:16 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Quote: If you really want to leave her better than you found her... you need to apologize to her. I'm not saying that will fix the relationship, but she does deserve an apology. Just tell her she's a great person because of X, Y, and Z, an that you're sorry if you hurt her feelings. S Everyone has thier own way of apologizing, personally i dont ever use the word apologize or sorry, just they way im built, yet it may work for other people depending on he stage of the relationship. One point Sinn made that was not mentioned in my earlier post was the complements, its agreed 100% to throw them in somewhere. i do the whole "not my intention" apology then cut thread to compliments "you seem or i sense that your a such and such person" sometimes ill even throw in the whole boundaries speech "relationships are a unique thing, we each have boundaries, i feel i crossed one with you, but known peoples boundaries can only strengthen the relationship." put it before, after or where you feel comfortable, all three of these can be interchanged and linked to a great meaningful apology that never uses the words sorry or apologize. If I didn't know better I'd say you were scared of apologising. guess you dont know any better

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