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| I'm bad at conversation. Any advice? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=44550 |
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| Author: | Ares_Constantine [ Mon May 04, 2009 4:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | I'm bad at conversation. Any advice? |
Alright, I really suck at making conversation. It doesn't matter who it is, it could be an ugly, fat troll, or it could be a hot chick, or just some dude. I suck at making conversation and it frustrates me to no end. Even with people I'm acquainted with.. I mean, a sweet little old lady came up to me and started talking to me and I felt like a total prick because I wasn't responsive, simply because I don't know what to say! So a conversation might start, someone'll make a comment and i'll just be like, "uh-huh. ", or "yeah" or some other stupid thing like that. What the hell's my problem? Does anyone have any advice on what I should do when I go blank? Because I'll just listen and when the time comes for me to respond, I've got nothin'. |
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| Author: | JSmooth [ Mon May 04, 2009 5:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I'm bad at conversation. Any advice? |
Quote: Alright, I really suck at making conversation. It doesn't matter who it is, it could be an ugly, fat troll, or it could be a hot chick, or just some dude. I suck at making conversation and it frustrates me to no end. Even with people I'm acquainted with.. I mean, a sweet little old lady came up to me and started talking to me and I felt like a total prick because I wasn't responsive, simply because I don't know what to say!
You need to make a concious effort to spend more time talking to people. Especially those that are your friends you need to practice with. Explain to them what you are doing and have them help you. This link should help you some master the basics. So a conversation might start, someone'll make a comment and i'll just be like, "uh-huh. ", or "yeah" or some other stupid thing like that. What the hell's my problem? Does anyone have any advice on what I should do when I go blank? Because I'll just listen and when the time comes for me to respond, I've got nothin'. http://jsmooth26.blogspot.com/2008/12/i ... kills.html In addition to that you need to force yourself to say something. Respond back to what they say, sum it up and repeat it back to them as part of active listening, or just make a flat comment about something for them to talk to you about. Or listen for things you can branch off of and talk about. Example: You know I love the Atlanta Braves, they have a good team this year. You: They are pretty good. I have a friend that lives around Atlanta...This one time me and him........ The more you practice the better you will do. I would try to spend a good hour each day working on this until you feel like you are able to carry on a conversation. |
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| Author: | Ezo [ Mon May 04, 2009 8:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Listen to what other people are talking about. I know that it is difficult to come up with good stuff to say but honestly it does not have to be good. You just need to say something. Get rid of the feeling that your topics are not interesting, they may be more interesting than you think. |
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| Author: | Double J [ Tue May 05, 2009 1:19 am ] |
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Look, small talk is simple... Random person at a newpaper stand. "wow have you heard about that new swine flue, apparently two girls are really sick" You (heard of it or not) Yeah thats aweful, my litle sister was ill a while ago, really ill, i took a week of school to take care of her as my perents were out of town... (DHV-ish) Its all about getting onto what you want to say unless what there saying is interesting enough for you to stop and listen. So if you catch yourself not paying attnetion, or saying "uhuh" "Yep" "go on" to often just change the subject. |
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| Author: | Country Boy [ Tue May 05, 2009 1:24 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Check out Juggler Method. It's simple and can be used on anybody. I-statements, reward and relate, OEQs, and vacuum are golden. |
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| Author: | Ares_Constantine [ Fri Jun 12, 2009 8:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks for the advice, guys. I know it's been a while since I posted this, but I would like to thank you guys for the advice. I'm checking out Mystery Method and trying to get the gist of it. |
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| Author: | JSmooth [ Fri Jun 12, 2009 9:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: I'm checking out Mystery Method and trying to get the gist of it.
Keep in mind that Mystery Method using indirect game, routines, and canned material. It's not as natural of a conversation but it should help you build your confidence talking to people through the use of those routines and lines.  It helped me!
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| Author: | kcdclan [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 8:14 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: I'm checking out Mystery Method and trying to get the gist of it.
Even that wont help you talk..You don't sound like a very involved person.. If you get more active you will start noticing stuff... Active ; Clubs, Sports, going out or whatever not sitting at home. Pay attention to what happens around you... the more detail the better of a story you can have. like Code: I went to atl after the 4th of July last year and came across a clown at the gas station.... I wass so excited when I seen him do a trick .. I literally flipped out...
He made cloth change color it was so cool.... "if you know any magic trick then pull one out" EVEN the simple things like news sports and shit on tv can be talked about....
Code: Have you seen the latest real world... omg it's awesome they all got stranded on a isle and they didn’t get told.......... SO ON
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| Author: | TrueFlame [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 9:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I'm bad at conversation. Any advice? |
Quote: Alright, I really suck at making conversation. It doesn't matter who it is, it could be an ugly, fat troll, or it could be a hot chick, or just some dude. I suck at making conversation and it frustrates me to no end. Even with people I'm acquainted with.. I mean, a sweet little old lady came up to me and started talking to me and I felt like a total prick because I wasn't responsive, simply because I don't know what to say!
With regular people, just say who are you?, what do you do? what do you do for fun? did you see/like this film/book etc. This is AFC stuff, ie it won't get you laid and isn't designed to, but it is a good idea to have this type of conversation if you never talk to any one much just to get comfortable. So a conversation might start, someone'll make a comment and i'll just be like, "uh-huh. ", or "yeah" or some other stupid thing like that. What the hell's my problem? Does anyone have any advice on what I should do when I go blank? Because I'll just listen and when the time comes for me to respond, I've got nothin'. Btw With acquaintances it might be just a good idea to say straight out "I'm not being rude when I don't say anything. I'm just not very good at small talk." Maybe even ask for some pointers. People will appreciate that as they may think you were just being aloof, and it can be a good bonding experience when you confide in someone. Don't do that with girls though. |
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| Author: | Ares_Constantine [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 7:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Quote: I'm checking out Mystery Method and trying to get the gist of it.
Keep in mind that Mystery Method using indirect game, routines, and canned material. It's not as natural of a conversation but it should help you build your confidence talking to people through the use of those routines and lines. It helped me!I'm definitely gonna read it, too (your blog I mean). Of course, Mystery Method is just to guide me along the way. I'm confident that once I get used to approaching girls and being more engaging in converation, then I'll be all set. I'm 18 btw, (about to be 19) and don't really have a big selection of places to go as far as picking up or practicing my game. I also don't have reliable transportation, so I have to walk everwhere. And the mall, and the Book store(only places I can think of to pick up any good lookign girls) are too far away to walk to. Maybe I can just walk to the H-E-B down the road, pick up one of those hand baskets, and pretend to shop and just talk to anyone neary by. Then I'll just set the basket down and leave when I'm done. LOL. Would the openers from Mystery method be good to use in a day-game setting like that? Yeah, and it may be a better idea to just tell acquaintances that I'm no good at small talk. I feel like a dick when I don't talk to people. I feel like I come off as Aloof, and I've even heard arrogant.... |
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