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Need some input on this situation! Bad gut feeling
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Author:  psychosylocibin [ Wed Apr 08, 2009 2:09 am ]
Post subject:  Need some input on this situation! Bad gut feeling
Alright so I met this about 4 weeks ago at a bar, met her through an old high school friend.

My friend told me that she thought I was attractive and wanted to be set up with me.

Anyways, so we went on an outing to this casual restaurant and had a few drinks afterwards.

She kind of gave me a more conservative vibe.

Anyways, we had a good night, but I only left her with a hug for a reason.

She texted me "thanks for the fun night hope to hear from you soon".

Anyways, she texted 4 days later wondering if I was to going to a concert with her. I could not attend because I was heading off to visit a friend, but tried to set something up for the next week. She told me she would call me the next week because she was not sure of her schedule. Anyways, I ended up calling her on sunday to set up a date since I needed to figure out my schedule. She then told me she would call me after the next day (monday) to let me know. She still hasn't called and I am getting suspicious as to whether I killed the attaction.

Let me know!
Author:  Fiery [ Wed Apr 08, 2009 2:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need some input on this situation! Bad gut feeling
maybe she's just busy, give it a day or two.......seems like you have a good thing going on
Author:  Majishan [ Wed Apr 08, 2009 4:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
yes you do have something good going on.. but make sure.. don't come off as needy!! don't be available to her! make sure you give time between calls.. not calling her everyday.. keep calm and it will come.. the attraction that is..
Author:  psychosylocibin [ Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:30 am ]
Post subject: 
Update...

So its Wednesday night and she still has not called me (said she would on Monday night).

However, I posted a video of myself playing guitar online and she commented on how cool it was..

This is getting weird guys, I don't know what to think.
Author:  kasabi [ Thu Apr 09, 2009 4:12 am ]
Post subject: 
Dude,

What's wrong with you? Get off your ass and start running the show. Call her up, "What are you doing on ____ night? There's this really cool ______ going on at ______. Let's meet at ______, OK?" ---- DONE.

Disagree with majishan:

In the scale of needy to totally aloof, you are totally aloof. You haven't demonstrated your interest in her at all. That's what this is about isn't it? You show some interest in her and she shows some interest in you. Of course she'll act conservative. Do you want every girl to just grab you and stick her tongue down your throat? She asked, "I hope I hear from you . . ." And so you sit on your ass and wait 4 days for her to text you?

Do you REALLY want her to be the MAN in the relationship? Do you REALLY want her to call you, dictate to you when she wants to meet you and how? Do you want her to come over to your place and go, "Yo, got any beers around here or what?", and then slap your ass like you're her little bitch?

So here's what you do:

1. Pull down your shorts, inspect, and make sure you have balls. Give them a gentle squeeze to remind yourself that you're the man . . .and SHE IS A GIRL.

2. Don't put this off ANY longer. This sitting around and waiting for her to call all nervous like your some gay little 14 year old is really, really doing you no good.

3. Call her up and start dictating your show like there is NO OTHER OPTION. This is your show God damn it. You go up on the stage and you count down and play the opening riff because YOU KNOW the bass and drummer will join you on cue. You don't ask them for permission. Your don't get nervous that they might not play along. It's your show. They play along when you begin the show . . . PERIOD.

4. So you don't call her up and go, "Well, maybe if I pick you up at 7 for the ____ show, will you come?" No . . .be the leader of the band, "Hey, this party on Friday night's going to be great. Last weekend, _____ fell off the table and beer shot out of my nose. How about I meet you at _____ so we can have something in our bellies first? Then we can walk over to _____ for some joe and we'll meet those jokers at ______." Just RUN IT! And if she's too slow to play along . . . just CONTINUE playing. You don't just stop playing the guitar because your drummer F's up a beat or two. You just keep playing and he'll figure it out right? She will too . . .
Author:  psychosylocibin [ Thu Apr 09, 2009 4:50 am ]
Post subject: 
OK Kasabi, I guess I forget to mention we texted back and forth a little every day between. We chat sometimes on aim too.

Anyways, I sent her a sort of an ultimatum a little while ago saying "you and me, guitar lessons thurs or fri night, take advantage of it because after this week I start charging!".

If she responds then I'm in, if not I will completely drop her.
Author:  kasabi [ Thu Apr 09, 2009 5:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
OK Kasabi, I guess I forget to mention we texted back and forth a little every day between. We chat sometimes on aim too.

Anyways, I sent her a sort of an ultimatum a little while ago saying "you and me, guitar lessons thurs or fri night, take advantage of it because after this week I start charging!".

If she responds then I'm in, if not I will completely drop her.
^^

No no! Chit chats are for chicks in hair salons! You don't send NO REASON texts back and forth. All it does is slowly "bleed" off any tension you've created.

Stop this chit chatting text business.

CALL HER. You should have called her, "Thanks for that note on (where ever she posted that your guitar playing is cool) . . . I could teach you how to play that. Hey, what are you doing on Thursday? Why don't you come over? I'll teach you how to play that song and we'll jam. Grab a pizza, a few cokes, and we'll be all set . . . "

How can you drop what you haven't even attempted to grab?

Your last message above isn't so bad but why go with that "I'm a little cute joking boy" route? And why give her so many options?

Also, the best way to put her on the spot is to text her something dumb like, "Hey, is it raining where you are?"

She texts back, "Blah, blah, blah"

Then you call her right away because you know she's there with her phone. Call her. Stop clowning around and just dictate your shit. You know exactly what I'm talking about and you know you've thought of it. Most guys tend to wuss out through jokes and nervous "proposals".

Right now she's thinking, "He might like me. He's kinda cute. I don't know . . Should I play hard to get? I don't want him to think I'm desperate or anything" (Or any other 1,000's of weird thoughts that afflict girls)

What do you think she thinks when you give her a direct phone convo like I suggested? Her brain = (???) And she says, "Ehm. . . OK . . ." (You did the thinking for her . . . get it?)
Author:  psychosylocibin [ Thu Apr 09, 2009 2:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Makes sense Kasabi..I am a big fan of being direct and to the point with women.

What I originally was going to do was wait until today (thursday) to call her, but a ended up texting her last night instead, since I could not grasp ahold of my emotions and it was late (11:45pm), so I didn't want to call.

So basically I am left with a serious case of one-itus, which 1# sucks, but more importantly, #2 is extremely frustrating and ANNOYING becuase I know logically that part of my oneitus is due to the fact that she is sending mixed signals more than being attracted to her personality/looks.

lets see,
I barely know this girl, so how can a fall for someone who I barely know and she is a 7 tops in the looks department. I can do much better.

Any strategies to over this oneitus quickly? I already tried focusing on other things but it is always in the back of my head, no matter what I do. I view this one-itus as an "annoyance" and hinderence to my time and my life, i.e. it distracts me from doing the things I want to do. It needs to go.
Author:  Zikki [ Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Learn,

Alpha,
Gunwitch,
Mystery Method,
Styles material,
Watch NLP videos and street pickup,

Learn how to create an attractive lifestyle and have uber inner game then you wont need to chase her, she will be dying to come and see you using any old excuse.

The whole point is we are turning the tables, we will no longer jump thru hoops, chase a red herring and persue on unclear intentions. Your wasting both of your time by not reaching out and taking what you want.

Thats alpha baby, "I see something I like so then im having that"
Author:  Majishan [ Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Makes sense Kasabi..I am a big fan of being direct and to the point with women.

What I originally was going to do was wait until today (thursday) to call her, but a ended up texting her last night instead, since I could not grasp ahold of my emotions and it was late (11:45pm), so I didn't want to call.

So basically I am left with a serious case of one-itus, which 1# sucks, but more importantly, #2 is extremely frustrating and ANNOYING becuase I know logically that part of my oneitus is due to the fact that she is sending mixed signals more than being attracted to her personality/looks.

lets see,
I barely know this girl, so how can a fall for someone who I barely know and she is a 7 tops in the looks department. I can do much better.

Any strategies to over this oneitus quickly? I already tried focusing on other things but it is always in the back of my head, no matter what I do. I view this one-itus as an "annoyance" and hinderence to my time and my life, i.e. it distracts me from doing the things I want to do. It needs to go.
this is the only reason why i said.. don't be coming off needy.. kasabi is right.. you need to grab the bull by it's horns!!! but my suggestion is that don't make this whole situation a one-itis.. make sure to keep your "cool" composure.. and if she does rejeccts invites.. then make sure to figure out that there's not just one girl in the world.. there are millions!
Author:  Fiery [ Thu Apr 09, 2009 5:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Makes sense Kasabi..I am a big fan of being direct and to the point with women.

What I originally was going to do was wait until today (thursday) to call her, but a ended up texting her last night instead, since I could not grasp ahold of my emotions and it was late (11:45pm), so I didn't want to call.

So basically I am left with a serious case of one-itus, which 1# sucks, but more importantly, #2 is extremely frustrating and ANNOYING becuase I know logically that part of my oneitus is due to the fact that she is sending mixed signals more than being attracted to her personality/looks.

lets see,
I barely know this girl, so how can a fall for someone who I barely know and she is a 7 tops in the looks department. I can do much better.

Any strategies to over this oneitus quickly? I already tried focusing on other things but it is always in the back of my head, no matter what I do. I view this one-itus as an "annoyance" and hinderence to my time and my life, i.e. it distracts me from doing the things I want to do. It needs to go.
The only way to get rid of this annoying feeling is to go for it. Better to know the answer than waiting around thinking about it all day. I am in sort of a similar situation, and once I get the time away from exams, I'm gonna do what kasabi suggested.

PS Kasabi, you are very wise lol, great helpful advice which I will probably use too :D
Author:  kasabi [ Thu Apr 09, 2009 6:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
The following has little to do with PU and also EVERYTHING to do with PU:

The Loser's Cycle:

1. Great desire to obtain something.
2. Sets no goals
3. Has no goals so can't strategize.
4. Has no strategy so there's nothing to plan.
5. No plan so there's nothing to do . . .
5. He does nothing so the the object of his desire is no closer now then it was at "step 1".

----now here's the fucked up part ------

6. So he begins to talk himself into thinking that the "object of his desire" was something he never really wanted anyways.(This is an actual psychological phenomenon)
7. Then he blames failure on EVERYTHING ELSE BUT his own shortcomings. (In our case study in this thread, this would be: "Her mixed signals", "some made up disease called 'oneitis'", "His own emotions" . . . there will be more of course.

----even more fucked up ------

8. Desire is difficult to control so he will always desire something again in the future . . . but because he is a habitual loser (never obtaining his desires) he again doesn't bother to set goals, strategize, or plan. Why bother? He'll never make it work any how right?

The Winner's Cycle:

1. Great desire to obtain something.
2. Sets goals (things he needs to achieve in order to obtain his desires)
3. Strategy time.
4. Uses strategy to create an executable plan.
5. Executes Plan.
6. Either WIN his desires or FAIL.
7. If fail, back to the drawing board and restrategize, plan, and execute.
8. Win, win, win, win, win, win, win . . .
9. Win, win, win, win, win, win, win . . .

This might seem like a lot of work but both cycles are merely habits. Don't give up on this girl. MAKE A POINT of following the steps WITH THIS GIRL. The actual outcome doesn't matter right now. You have fear of talking with girls over the phone. You have a fear of actually asking/demanding for what you want. You have a fear of rejection. You have a fear of looking like some little clown. You have these fears because you're caught up in the WRONG CYCLE.

Had you experienced the "winner's cycle" before, you'd realize that this whole silly game is just that . . . a silly game. You go through the entire flowchart with a smile because you know every task just gets you one step closer to vagina. But since you haven't experienced this, you're just all over the place fearing to commit to ANY aspect of this game. Start fresh and don't give up on this girl. Keep going until you get a definite, in your face "YES, I want to FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT!" . . . or "NO, get the hell away from me you FREAK!!"

Until you get either one of these answers, you haven't done JACK SHIT! You haven't even tried. . . and you're going crazy about some self diagnosed case of "oneitis" and whining about her "mixed signals". (She hasn't given you ANY signals.) How can she? You haven't done JACK SHIT yet.

You didn't actually pull your shorts down to confirm that you had balls did you? Do it now . . . and pray to God you don't find a moist vagina down there.
Author:  Majishan [ Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You didn't actually pull your shorts down to confirm that you had balls did you? Do it now . . . and pray to God you don't find a moist vagina down there.
great advice!! but this quote just made me laugh out loud!!!!! :lol:
Author:  psychosylocibin [ Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Alright, so she texted me this morning saying "sorry I am going to chicago today so I can't go out weekend....can you make and exception for me and make it next week?"

So It looks like I may be in.....I'll text back "yes". and call her sunday to set something up .
Author:  kasabi [ Fri Apr 10, 2009 6:09 am ]
Post subject: 
^^Wrong attitude . . .

Dude, you gotta stop this wussy micro-emotional roller coaster for every little text she types. Think about what happened thus far . . .NOTHING. And yet, you've been like a hysterical little girl worried that nobody will ask her to the prom. "Oh my God! He might ask me out! No . . .oh boo hoo . . .he asked out that bitch Cindy Smith. What about Bobby! He might ask me out! Hurray! BOO HOO . . .He asked out Jill from chemistry class . . . on and on and on . . . "

Why do you do this to yourself?

Start from the very beginning.

1.Write down your goals.
2.Strategize
3.Plan
4.Execute.

This is not gay and this is not dorky. You just don't have enough practice so every time something comes up, you get all emotional and you freak out. You need a scheduled plan to follow so that you don't deviate from a strategy that you KNOW WILL WORK. Stand strong BRO! Notice I said "BRO!" . . . and not "little sis'". You are a man! Get going!
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