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International Pick Up
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Author:  Crankydood [ Mon Apr 06, 2009 9:33 pm ]
Post subject:  International Pick Up
Hi. My name's Percy.
I'm fairly new to the pick up game although I have been reading a lot and researching for some time as I'm fascinated by the psychology of it all. I think forums like this are great for those of us that would like to improve our game.

OK, ass-kissing over... :wink:

I know how this is going to sound but, there is a girl at work...

I'm really into her but there are a few issues I'd like your help in understanding/overcoming.

1. She's Italian and doesn't necessarily share the same sense of humour as us.
2. She seems to be career minded although in reality I think she does this job for convenience and takes the career opportunities as they arise.
3. She has a horse that she spends most of her spare time with. She goes to the horse before and after work.
4. She gets up early to go to the horse and so goes to bed early because she has to get up early.
5. She is married.
6. I am married.
7. She knows my wife....

Hmm, I've just read that back and it doesn't look promising.

I couldn't believe it when I first met her 3 years ago when I started working there; she is the most striking girl I have ever seen and I haven't been able to get her off my mind since. I spent a good deal of effort to get to know her after I found out she has a horse and I got to know her well. I'm good at talking to people and getting to know them.

Recently, she has been so engrossed in the mammoth amount of work she has to do that she is rather distant or she knows I fancy her and keeps away. Not nice when me and her are supposed to be friends and she won't even say good morning.

I'm not interested in having an affair as I've got too much to lose and actually love my wife dearly but I want to know how to create an attraction and I want to get feedback from her in a non-verbal way. Clearly I can't ask her out. If she and I were single, I would and I would get the feedback I want that way. But I can't.

I know this is a long post so I'll stop shortly but I'll just say this.
I want to create a really great rapport with her but it's tricky because she is so busy and I don't see her socially.
I want to get her to start thinking about me when I'm not around since we are our own best hypnotists.
I'm in the friend zone but it's more of an aquaintance and I would like to build this up to a point where she would share secrets with me.

And finally, when I go about learning a new skill, I want to be really good at it. I've always wanted to learn PUA stuff and I want to know I can do this.

Sorry it's so long but it's really specific stuff, pick-up married women, foreign, career, busy, that I just cannot find elsewhere.

Any help and suggestions would be much appreciated and thank you all.
Author:  fealinlucky [ Mon Apr 06, 2009 10:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
WHOA there Hoss =)


lol...
thoughts
Quote:
I know how this is going to sound but, there is a girl at work...
yup its exactly like it sounds... I can already hear the oneitis violen tuning up

Work = dont game unless you dont like your job and want a new one
nuff said
Quote:
I'm really into her but there are a few issues I'd like your help in understanding/overcoming.
thats what we are here for right?
Just.... cant..... keep.....from typing......... ONEITIS, whew glad thats over

Quote:
Hmm, I've just read that back and it doesn't look promising.


really???
i mean those just went from bad to worse to worser... but moving on...

Quote:
I couldn't believe it when I first met her 3 years ago
*couph couph* "oneitis" *couph*

geeze i need to get this cold looked at
Quote:
I haven't been able to get her off my mind since
man this cd keeps skipping at oneitis
Quote:
is rather distant or she knows I fancy her and keeps away. Not nice when me and her are supposed to be friends and she won't even say good morning.
Captain we have a problem....
Quote:
I'm not interested in having an affair as I've got too much to lose and actually love my wife dearly
uh huh.. thats why you posted this on a PICKUP forum.. but I digress
Quote:
I want to get her to start thinking about me when I'm not around since we are our own best hypnotists.[\quote]

and this is helpful Because....?
Quote:
I'm in the friend zone but it's more of an aquaintance and I would like to build this up to a point where she would share secrets with me.
Ill be honest.. I dont know if ive heard that before... seriously =)


OK.. all kidding aside, sorry i had to have a good lauph at that and i hope you will appreciate the humer in this.

Now, if your wife read this how many states away do you think she would move? seriously... and the thing is... this chick isnt even in to you... AT ALL... and if she is.. she knows that you dig her and stays away because she can sense your feelings and doesnt want that.
what good could possibly come of this? What secrets can you possibly imagin her sharing with you?

IDK, is there more to this story that you can enlighten us on why this is such a good idea?

from a relationship perspective I would advise to stay the hell away...
If you MUST... invite her to dinner with your wife. She can even bring her horse.. I mean husband. (haha)

If all you want to be is friends... then build lots of comfort, with your wife around so that comfort is built in a honest and open way... will you both be BFF.. no probably not... but at least she will get the idea that your not interested in her

thats about the best i can do... =)
Good luck there dood

Lucky
Author:  Crankydood [ Mon Apr 06, 2009 10:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
I can't believe you would mock something so personal!

Ha ha! Only kidding!! I laughed my ass off actually!

Yeah I can see the oneitis. Sorry about that. Lol.
Quote:
IDK, is there more to this story that you can enlighten us on why this is such a good idea?
In all honesty, no. I'm an AFC that wants to be good at this stuff and latches onto the one chick I get crazy for and gets disheartened when it all goes bad. I know it's a numbers game but it's a bit tricky doing this stuff when you're married!
Quote:
this chick isnt even in to you... AT ALL.
Really? Is it that obvious? I'm really not very good at this you know! lol. But we all have to learn.
Quote:
will you both be BFF.. no probably not...
BFF? Sorry, I don't get it.

After all's said and done, she frustrates the hell out of me and she's cute. She frustrates me because I got to know her really well and then she's all cold... yeah, you're right. She knows. And she's keeping away. I guess I'd better do the same. It's difficult to put across what she's like because, obviously you don't know her and this is all just a snippet of who she is. But like you say,
Quote:
Work = dont game unless you dont like your job and want a new one
Hmm.

Listen, thanks for the comments. I appreciate it.
Author:  fealinlucky [ Mon Apr 06, 2009 11:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
hey live and learn thats all the best of us can do =)

believe me we have all been there... =)

but at some point your just gonna have to let it go,

I would make sure your wife is cool with you learning pickup the two dont usually go hand in hand.. .and really pick up is about picking up ... sure there is game to be run to build friends and what not.. but this is like an extreme circumchance.

even the masters may stay away from this one.


oh and BFF is best friends forever
Author:  Ezo [ Tue Apr 07, 2009 10:28 am ]
Post subject: 
Weeeeellllllll,

Yes, I would definately stay away from this one. I talk from experience. I feel your pain man. You think that everything will become better if you successfully build attraction and comfort and live the dream with an extra lover undercover sitting next to your wife on your wonderful naughty dinners knowingly sharing a glance that noone else understands... Well, guess what, at that point everything will go wrong. You should not be afraid that you may not be able to attract her but you should worry about what will happen when you do. It will end in tears man. You would in the "best" case scenario break up her marrige, your marrige, their friendship, your relation to your wife, your working situation... She will not give you more time since she has her horse... You will start thinking that if she could cheat on her old man with you then maybe she will do it to you too.

Technically it is not impossible to do. I have had to overcome many similar and worse obstacles in my past, sometimes within the same girl. It can be done but should it?

Be careful what you wish for...
Author:  Mr E [ Tue Apr 07, 2009 10:47 am ]
Post subject: 
Hi,
Yeah Percy,
don't go down there. don't even think about it. it could cost you ALOT!!! just forget her. And if you have to see her every day look at why she isnt the girl for you and why she could cause you a lot of grief.
Fuck it. The real question, IMHO is, if you are happy with your wife then enjoy man
The grass is always greener on the other side- of course this Italian babe seems hot but Fuck it!
What I think you need to ask is, if I am not happy with my wife then that is the real question I got to ask myself. But if I am, you just gotta stop fantasiszing about this Italian babe and let her go, no matter how hot she is.
Author:  Musterion [ Tue Apr 07, 2009 12:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well mate, you say you have no intention of having an affair, but all arrows are pointing that way at the moment. Just look at this statement you make
Quote:
"Sorry it's so long but it's really specific stuff, pick-up married women"
You say you love your wife dearly but it really doesn't look that way I'm sorry to say. The minute you start lusting after other women, and even coming onto a forum asking for advice on how to GET said women, is the minute you need to start questioning the happiness within your marriage.
As Ezo said it is all just gonna end in tears. In my opinion there are only TWO outcomes you should be looking at from this situation, the first outcome is that you realise you really do love your wife and you are willing to put this italian out of your mind for your marriages sake. The second outcome is that you realise you don't love your wife nearly as much as you thought, the fair thing to do then is to explain to your wife the feelings you are having. Then come to whatever conclusion you and your wife come to from there.
Hope it all works out mate.
Musterion
Author:  Ezo [ Tue Apr 07, 2009 4:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
... and stay away from italian women, they are tooooo sweet... ;)
Author:  kasabi [ Tue Apr 07, 2009 5:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
#8. You're a pathetic liar.

Either man up and admit to yourself that you want to shoot your spunk way deep in this girl's vagina or stop this 12 year old act. Go one way or the other. Your "not this and not that" luke warm coffee BS is enough to make me want to puke. There are 15 year old's on this forum who's got more sack than you.

You want her to be attracted to you, but you don't want to fuck her. You want her to think about you and when you're not around share secrets with you? WTF?!!. . . Non-verbal feedback?? Do you believe your own bs?
Author:  Crankydood [ Tue Apr 07, 2009 7:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks everyone for your thoughts. You're all right of course. I'd lose too much taking a chance like this. And probably get nowhere in the meantime!

It's an ego thing. I'd like to know I can do this and I'd like to do it to her because she's a babe! Of course I'd like to fuck her. I'm sorry for any confusion but I don't consider that to be an affair. An affair is an ongoing relationship IMHO. And before you say, you're right. Once wouldn't be enough! LOL.

I'd got to a state and didn't know what to do next which is why I sought help from you guys as this is the kind of thing you know. I accept what you say and agree it's wiser to keep away.

Thanks for all your helpful comments except kasabi who clearly has nothing useful to add. You need anger management my friend! Cool off a bit! LOL.
Author:  kasabi [ Wed Apr 08, 2009 12:35 am ]
Post subject: 
^Reading your self defeating style is like watching a kid do a belly flop off the high dive, not being able to decide whether to go head or feet first into the water.

Now that you've admitted that you want to bang this chick and you "think" it's for ego, think about WHY you have these feelings. Think about what you're really trying to fulfill. You only live once. You can fulfill all that you want to achieve; there is absolutely no shame in setting your private goals and strategizing to achieve them. There is nothing wrong with gaining what you want out of life.

However, read your initial post. You wrote up multiples opinions of your little society, tip toeing around as if it's a crime to even think for yourself. You don't have to write it for us but at the very least, you should be able to freely admit your desires to yourself. Once you do this, you'll probably realize that even the admitted goals aren't even your goals. Keep peeling away this way until you figure out what you really want. Then go out and achieve it.

Most will die while performing monkey dances for their society, never even realizing that they in fact are NOT monkeys.
Author:  expat_of_love [ Wed Apr 08, 2009 6:13 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey, just as long as the Brits stay away from Latvia and Estonia I am happy :lol:
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