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Issue with her thoughts
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Author:  Drayah [ Sat Mar 21, 2009 6:35 am ]
Post subject:  Issue with her thoughts
One of my targets is a very fine girl.
Last week, week before this one I spent quite the amount of time with her, she was always very enthousiastic towards me. I was looking hard for definite IOI's though but she left me cold on that area. I thought I might be in the LJBF zone and she just has an enthousiastic personality.
That friday she left me very abruptly

This week she hasn't said one word to me, just those weird looks.
Normally she is extremely enthousiastic, but that week she was very dull and down to everyone.

Yesterday evening she called me saying: "I've been waiting for an oppurtunity to tell you this week that people say you like me, is that so, I don't want to hurt you later". Ouch deep down inside, but I kept my cool and kept teasing her, she told me she's been thinking about me the whole week and just some general chitchat.

Now my question, what the hell should I do? Was that a test, an IOI? Or maybe just a rock-hard rejection? What the hell is going on here? Is She still interested, or should I let her go and go for the next?
Author:  AaronW [ Sat Mar 21, 2009 8:05 am ]
Post subject: 
women use code...and she said "later" i cant spell it out for ya but later is not the present, so she does not want to hurt you down the road, nothing about right now.

Trick is never give a definant answer to the girl on if you like her or not, but show her signs you do, kino and teaseing are great for this, the whole push and pull technique will work.

couple things i noticed, one she might be troubled SPAM, the distance to people, the mood change, and the fact she does not want to sacrafice your feelings by hurting you later on. Which to point out most girls that you know that do those type of things have low self esteem and have emotional feelings for the person they are trying to "save" from being involved with.

if you dont mind the baggage go for it, shes ripe for the picking my friend.
Author:  Xecutioner [ Sat Mar 21, 2009 9:47 am ]
Post subject: 
The way i see it, you havent portrayed yourself as a potential boyfriend. She, along with most fine girls in school have been going out with guys way beyond even THIER maturity.

When she says "i dont want to hurt you" she is saying that you would take anything that happened between you and her too seriously and she doesnt want to be the one to hurt you.

Everyone gets hurt before they start making less exceptions in their relationships. She thinks you havent had the experience that she is used to.
Author:  Drayah [ Sat Mar 21, 2009 8:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thing is, she does enthrall me, she looks wonderful, is just my type and is a very enthousiastic person. In the past, I've been a bit of a wuss though, however nowadays I feel extremely confident. Is that image of the past still in her head? Should I still go for her or just her go

Here's the two sides of the coin:

One: she said I don't want to hurt your feelings, and her tone obviously implied she wasn't directly into me. However it was a phone conversation, I couldn't read her face.

Two: She didn't talk to me for five days to gather the courage to tell me this. She said she was thinking about me all week and that look in her eyes told me more than a few words. She even called me on my mobile phone ten times (10 TIMES!, some people dream of being called ten times) and even looked up my parent's number and called it to reach me. (Definately some interest)

Now there's a few explanations for this in my opinion:

1: She really did not want to lose me as a friend

2: She is into me and this is some twisted test.

3: She wants me to change around her, show my masculunity and really try the 'pickup'

What are you guys thoughts?
Author:  Xecutioner [ Sat Mar 21, 2009 9:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Pick her ass up! Stop tryin to figure her out- it wont happen. The multiple call thing is a definite IOI and my advice is to ask her to "hang out" sometime. Low pressure, casual.

Dont become even as persistent as she has become in regards to getting ahold of her, i find that her interest for you will suffer if you become needy.

If all else fails get your social proof on and make her jealous. She'll come around
Author:  Drayah [ Sun Mar 22, 2009 12:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
So you're saying that even though she said: I don't want to hurt your feelings but we've had such a good time together, obviously implying 'friendship'. I should still go for her as it was just a silly piece of code?
Author:  Reo [ Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
You're putting her on a pedestal
Is she better than you according to you, yes she is
Your making all these excuses
bad thing is she had to find out from other people you liked her (thats so lame) then when she brought it up you got scared and back down,
she was giving you a shot to see if you actually were man enough to date her. You proved you are simply friend material .....great job man
Author:  Drayah [ Sun Mar 22, 2009 10:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Alright, so some side info, I've known this girl for about two years.
Back then I was a complete and utter nerd, no work on myself at all.
Now I'm into this stuff for about two months and things are definately strating to change, I feel much more confident and healthy than before!

So your psychoanalysis is the following?

The Week she was still talking to me - building rapport and teasing her to invoke attraction.
Week after didn't talk at all - mad patience test, see if I would react needy
The fatal call - Seeing if I was a suitable mate to see how I would react to something most guys get shocked by.

Now that phone call wasn't bad, could definately have done better, still not bad. Never gave her a direct answer.

The other people telling her dazzles me, I never tell ANYONE who I like directly, never. The only thing I could think of is that people suddenly saw me teasing her and she's hanging around with me. Then she got commented on by a friend or so.

I think this pickup is far from over, and if it is, on to the next! :)
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