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How direct should you be with direct game?
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Author:  Gift That Keeps Giving [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 4:24 pm ]
Post subject:  How direct should you be with direct game?
I met this girl through friends and things went well the first time we met up, ended up kiss closing and taking her digits. I set things up to go out with her that next week but she flaked. A week went by and I tried again but this time she said she was too busy with school. That weekend we ended up meeting again through the same friends but it didn't go as well as the last time. Havn't seen her since, called once and I think I texted once to no reply.
I am gonna call her again tonight and invite her out for some coffee, a good no pressure date I think. Chances are she won't pick up, I don't really care that much but she is going away for a couple of weeks and I want her to know that I am interested. I have been kind of laying back since she has not been responding to my calls but I really want to lay it out there that I am interested.
My problem with girls is that I don't lay it on the line enough and girls usually assume that I am not interested. The good thing is it really wouldn't affect me that much if nothing turned out of this thing, I have other options. But, the first time we hung out it ended in a k-close and I thought things were going well, she has the qualities that I am looking for. I want to hang out with her again. Any ideas on a text message that could get her attention so I could follow up with a phone call and hopefully a date?
Author:  JSmooth [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 6:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Don't text, call! You are going to need to really grab her attention and that means calling. Texts can be ignored to easily but are a low risk for her when responding. Still, call her and be the reason why she gave you her # in the first place.

How direct can you be.... Here is a guy I like from the community called El Topo. He has worked with guys like Sinn, and Captain Jack. He's been instructing for a while now.

He is very direct and sexual with women. Now it takes a certain "frame" of mind and inner game to come off the right way, but you can get some ideas of how far you can push it. High Risk = High Reward.

Basically, you can be as direct as you want, if said at the right time, in the right way. To know when that is just takes calibration and being in field. Here is El Topo in a Mehow Infield Insider Video.

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Author:  Ulysses [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 7:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
now i know you think your biggest problem is not showing enough interest, but if you made plans with her and she ditched twice, and called her and texted her and she didnt reply, your making the opposite effect of showing TOO MUCH interest, and thats much worse. yeah coffee is a no pressure date, but i would suggest not even calling her for that. she seems busy, uninterested, whatever, and thats fine for now. the best advice i think would be for you to, the next time you hang out with these mutual friends and she might be there, bring an attractive girl. someone as hot as this girl you like or hotter, and the one you bring can be a date or just a friend, it doesnt matter as long as you guys appear close. the girl you like SHOULD be jealous of that, and jealousy is a very good emotion to instill :). so after she sees you with someone else, give it a couple days, and THEN call her. see if shes interested in that date :)
Author:  Gift That Keeps Giving [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 8:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good advice JSMOOTH, but I have actually had better luck getting this girl to respond to text messages then calling. Any time I have called her and she has not answered the phone I hadn't tried again for like a week. Like I said, I have other options out there, but this girl has a lot of the qualities I am looking for so it kinda sucks. I want to be very direct and tell her that she has these qualities that I like and say I would like to meet up with her again and see if there is any connection.
Unfortunately, She hasn't picked up the phone several times I have called her. She is very shy, I know her through friends. She is also very busy with working full time plus school. Still though, I am not gonna keep calling her if she doesn't pick up the phone, I am busy too. I think maybe if she doesn't pick up the phone, maybe I call back again in like 2 hours. I don't want to come across as needy but at the same time, I want her to know that I am trying to talk to her and get her out again. What do you do if a girl isn't picking up the phone? Just move on? I can do that but I am trying to be more direct and honest with my game and I don't want to quit on things unless I know a girl is not interested.
Author:  Gift That Keeps Giving [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 8:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ulysses, I could see the jealousy thing working out pretty well. I could definitely bring a girl next time I know shes gonna be around. We will see how that goes.
I really hate that I can get a kiss close and number close the first time I meet a girl very often and often I get the same problem of the girl flaking and not answering my calls. The only thing I can think is maybe I shouldn't try to kiss close so early. Maybe let the attraction build more. Any thoughts on kiss closing too early?
Author:  JSmooth [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Ulysses, I could see the jealousy thing working out pretty well. I could definitely bring a girl next time I know shes gonna be around. We will see how that goes.

I really hate that I can get a kiss close and number close the first time I meet a girl very often and often I get the same problem of the girl flaking and not answering my calls. The only thing I can think is maybe I shouldn't try to kiss close so early. Maybe let the attraction build more. Any thoughts on kiss closing too early?
I see what you are going for. And can understand with texting but consider a few things.

Actually there is a lot of good research that shows that you should kiss close before getting her number. The reason for this is when you first start kissing you are also establishing rapport (comfort) with her. Then you need to work to build an actual connection. If girls are giving you numbers but not calling you back.

That means about 95% of the time she is attracted to you but isn't entirely comfortable with you. If this is happening frequently like you imply then you need to get better with building an actual connection and grounding yourself in her reality. You might have talked and built some situational comfort, but not have established a real connection so that she knows you two can just sit and talk somewhere.

Furthermore, you metioned calling or texting then waiting a few hours to do it again. That in itself is needy behaviour. Wait longer periods of time between calls. If she doesn't respond after a while move on. You shouldn;'t be waiting on this girl, she should be waiting for you to call.
Author:  Ulysses [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:52 am ]
Post subject: 
JSmooth is on the mark with that
i would go so far as to say there is no such thing as k-closing too early, as long as you are getting proper IOIs and she enjoys the kiss itself.
Author:  Charlie0 [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 10:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
she has the qualities that I am looking for. I want to hang out with her again
"There's a lot of things I like about you. I wouldn't mind seeing you again this weekend. :)"
Author:  Myth [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 10:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
You can text her first, and see how her days going in such.
Then later (another day) call her and make plans.
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