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Taking to the next level with a Friend!
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Author:  alphakg2009 [ Thu Mar 05, 2009 6:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Taking to the next level with a Friend!
I have known this girl for about 6 years now and have recently fallen for her after a trip to mexico and I have reasons to think that she feels the same way. Back in High School I know for a fact that she liked me, but I thought that this feeling had passed.

When we were in mexico we had alot of intimate moments on which I did not act upon, because I started thinking about the consequences if it doesn't workout.

Since I've been back I can't stop thinking about her and all the things that Could've been if I had acted when I was over there. Now that I'm here the problem I have is that if I decide to have her, I have to make sure it is a long-term relationship since I cannot risk losing her as a friend(keep in mind that she is one of my closest friends and that we share alot of the same friends)

I know that she had been with alot of guys, on the other hand I have only been with 1 girl and I am still a virgin. I do not want to go into this relationship without any experience since like I mentioned I want the relationship to last.

What would you guys suggest I do?

( One idea I had is for me to get an escort and perfect my kissing & sex)
Author:  base_player [ Mon Mar 09, 2009 7:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey I was in a similar situation.
The girl was also one of my closest friends, if not THE closest friend I had in my friends circle. Last summer we've been hanging out a lot, and I started to get attracted to her. I was a virgin too, and hadn't had a real relationship before, whereas she had a lot more experience than me, sexual and relationship wise.
What I did, and I recommend you to do, is to go for it. Don't be afraid about that 'issue' of not having much experience. I sort of had this worry too in the beginning, but it faded quickly, because with her I felt really relaxed and not anxious at all. If you think too much and not let yourself enjoy being with her, then you'll do bad. As for kissing and sexual performance, it can be quickly learned and improved upon by a bit of practice ;-) and reading some books on the topic.

You say you want this relationship to last. Well, don't put yourself under pressure.
If you realize that you and her don't really work out personality wise, be honest to yourself and her and end it. There is a lot to learn about somebody when taking it to the next level even if you've been close friends for a long time.
Be mature and a good boyfriend, but not a puppy. There is a lot of help to be found here in the forum.

Sadly in my case, the relationship suffers under bad circumstances. We are in an LDR. But no matter, I know for a fact that she never found any of my 'lack of experience' to be bad at all. It's all in your head, and self confidence will come to you quickly.

Good Luck,
~base_player
Author:  Lestat [ Mon Mar 09, 2009 8:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah, my advice would be... don't hire an escort.

And before you make a move seriously consider the implications if she doesn't feel the same way. I recently told one of my closest friends from college, that I've been in love with for three years, that I had feelings for her; not because I wanted anything to happen but partly because I felt it was time she knew and mainly because I knew she didn't feel the same way and needed the closure to move on. Turns out that now she feels too awkward about it for us to be friends anymore.

I don't know what your preferred style of game is or if you've picked one yet, but if you do decide to go for it I'd consider being direct about it.

Peace and good luck, mate.
Author:  alphakg2009 [ Mon Mar 23, 2009 3:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just an update on my situation with The Girl I Like (TGIL)

I finally decided to get an escort yesterday night, I booked a hotel and had her meet me there. I was upfront about everything and actually told her how much I liked TGIL, I also told her I was a virgin.
We ( me and the escort) started to make-out and everything, but when came the time to have sex, I realized how wrong it was for me to lose my virginity to an escort and I told her to stop.

Since I had a bottle of wine all to myself, i got drunk and called TGIL, told her I wanted to see her right away and got her to come to my hotel room. We exchanged pleasantries, but after a few minutes I told her that I liked her. We started making out, I was kissing her on her neck and chest and she was grabbing me all over, we got to the point where we were both topless, but I just couldn't go beyond that point, I started thinking about alot of thing like what if I mess this up, or what if this relationship does not work. She realized I was hesitating and asked me what was wrong,

Me: " Do you think that what we are doing is wrong?"
TGIL: "Why can't it be just me and you tonight..."
Me: "You know that we have to take it slow given our history..."
TGIL: "We are not taking it anywhere...We cannot take it anywhere."

To this I got pissed, because I felt that she just wanted a 1 night stand. We continued to kiss and hug and she told me that I was drunk and that we needed to have a serious talk when I'm sober.
Author:  mercer [ Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Your thinking of whats going to go wrong before its even started!! In your head you've already married her and got the divorce! My advice would be to just go with the flow, she obviously knows you like her, you've got an excuse for the other night as she knows you were drunk. So now just talk to her, tell her how you feel and just say that you'd like to just see how things go.
In her head she might just be thinking she wants to sleep with you and in time she might realise actually she likes you enough to warrant a relationship, she could be thinking as much as you and not know what you want.

Dont tell her you want a relationship though, just tell her you like her and enjoyed the other night make your excuse about being drunk and just take it from there, go with the flow and see what comes of it. Stop thinking what if all the time, you'll never know untill you get to that point and thats when you can think and do something about it
Author:  Myth [ Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
WTF bro! Like Nike said Just Do It!!!
You probably blew this from the way
you reacted when she pretty much threw
herself at you... My advice move on, its over...
Author:  alphakg2009 [ Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Your thinking of whats going to go wrong before its even started!! In your head you've already married her and got the divorce! My advice would be to just go with the flow, she obviously knows you like her, you've got an excuse for the other night as she knows you were drunk. So now just talk to her, tell her how you feel and just say that you'd like to just see how things go.
In her head she might just be thinking she wants to sleep with you and in time she might realise actually she likes you enough to warrant a relationship, she could be thinking as much as you and not know what you want.

Dont tell her you want a relationship though, just tell her you like her and enjoyed the other night make your excuse about being drunk and just take it from there, go with the flow and see what comes of it. Stop thinking what if all the time, you'll never know untill you get to that point and thats when you can think and do something about it
Thanks mercer, thats probably the best advice anyone could have given me. The next day she messaged me saying that she was thinking of me. Now I just want to meet her up to tell her what u told me... but we keep missing each others calls.
Author:  Tj12 [ Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
dude i have a habbit of fucking my female friends... one night stands is ok with friends, but i never wanted more than that like u do... yea, i would say fuck her, and stay friends.
Author:  alphakg2009 [ Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:56 am ]
Post subject: 
UPDATE
Location: The park
Date: March 25th 2009

So I met her again for the first time after I almost F-closed her at the hotel (read my previous posts for a background on this story)

So we met and started talking about what had happened that night at the hotel, the convo was pretty casual and we were making alot of jokes.

Her: So how do you feel about all this?
Me: I think we should just go with the flow...
Her: I like that idea..

We talk a little more, but then I turn to her and look her into her eyes and start making out with her, but this time unlike the other night she was hesitant, after a few kisses she pulls back, but is still in my arms...

Her: So this is what you meant by the flow?
Me: The flow is what you feel in the moment and at this point this moment this is what I felt like doing.
(she still looked hesitant, but was still smiling, she kinda looked like she was debating in her head)
Me: What's wrong u look hesitant...
Her: I just don't know if we should do this... I don't want u to get hurt...
(keep in mind I told her that I had feelings for her)
Me: I don't think I will get hurt, but I do feel that we are not on the same page.
Her: I think its better that we stay friends and see how these feelings develop. I just don't want to lose a good friend.

I agreed and she continued about how her past relationships ended on a bad note and we kept having a normal convo.
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