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one-itis/prom? wut?
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Author:  woosh [ Mon Feb 09, 2009 4:17 am ]
Post subject:  one-itis/prom? wut?

I had one-itis for this girl, who we'll call A for some time, got ljbf'd, pretty pissed off. Found these forums, became less closer friends, got over it, became a better person, self improvement etc. A still really cares about me so contact hasn't been completely cut off.

Been focusing on having fun with my friends, expanding my social circle, becoming more of a leader in mine (eh still a work in progress). Pretty happy with what's going on.

But a few things have come up and are really bothering me. Mutual friend calls me the other week and asks if i plan on asking A to prom? I kinda saw it coming so i answered 'yea probably'. she then goes on about how A really wants to go with me and how A thinks she'll have a good time with me. At the same time, she implied that A wants to go "as friends". I have a "if i want to go with a friend, i'd ask my best friend pete to go with me" belief so i just kind of shrugged it off.

communication with A on the other hand is rather inconsistent. every so often she'll be really interested in me, calling me, texting me, asking me to hang out, IMing me. Then the next 2-3 weeks, nothing. I'll be initiating all the contact, and once i initiate 2-3 times, i'll stop and we don't talk again till she initiates again.

How do I go about with this? I realize I kind of want to go with her as a date/couple or however you want to call it. But by doing so would I be being played? unknowingly succumbing to a recurrence of one-itis? subconcious desperation on my end to find a prom date?
and how would I go about with it? I feel like a semi drunk hookup is needed to make it happen and avoid awkwardness if it fails.

Author:  SeekNDestroy [ Mon Feb 09, 2009 2:38 pm ]
Post subject: 

She is playing with you. If she wants to "just be friends", and you dont, then leave her. Dont call her, etc. She is hurting you by staying in contact.

You should not call her, text her, etc. Until you dont feel anything for her. Meet new people man, you wont even realize when you meet the right girl.

Author:  nightrider767 [ Mon Feb 09, 2009 9:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

Woosh,, you are behind the power curve here, but that doesn't mean you can't get caught up. First off,, look,,, this stuff takes a while to get your game in shape. You are doing the right things now so keep it up.

I'd highlite confidence and focus for you to consider now. Confidence saids you could care less what she wants to call your "status" on the date. Focus saids you're results oriented and don't care if a couple barbs are thrown your way.

If I was in your shoes, this is how I would be looking at things. I wouldn't care if she called, text or wanted to go the dance with me as "friends". I don't care how she feels about me. I only care about seeing the things I want to happen, happen.

In this case,,, things are going rough and that's fine. That's just means I need to make adjustments in my game to get things going the way I want them. If they don't I move on. I never put myself in a position of need.

I wouldn't be insulted at all about the prom offer to go as "friends". Shit man,, I'd laugh at the. Why would I care at all about what she felt our status was? I'd be like,,, yeah babe,,, we're going as friends,,whatever you like, friends , bunnies, non-english speakers. Whatever.

ANd the reason I wouldn't care is because I know that I would control that prom. I would show up, in full game gear, and make things happen.

On my end, if you like this chick, lock into the prom date with her, if she's who you want to be with.

This very well might be a shit-test from her. She's testing to see what kind of man you are. What's your level of confidence? I'd show her.

That's just my take on things. Good luck!

Author:  woosh [ Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:55 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks nightrider, I like and agree with what you said there. i guess there's work to be done.

Author:  Loso [ Thu Feb 12, 2009 10:01 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:


ANd the reason I wouldn't care is because I know that I would control that prom. I would show up, in full game gear, and make things happen.

On my end, if you like this chick, lock into the prom date with her, if she's who you want to be with.

This very well might be a shit-test from her. She's testing to see what kind of man you are. What's your level of confidence? I'd show her.
yep i'd defo try and game it like my man said.

Author:  nightrider767 [ Fri Feb 13, 2009 6:25 pm ]
Post subject: 

Woosh,, one last note. Dude,,, it's the prom. Your number one job is to have fun. So keep that in mind. Bring a good game but don't focus on it. Just focus on enjoying your date and your friends.

Author:  woosh [ Wed Feb 25, 2009 6:05 am ]
Post subject: 

Just an update, she asked to hang out one day and ended up asking if i'd take her haha. I said yea and that was that. Didn't specify what we're "going as" which I feel is good since it doesn't really matter. Just going to enjoy and make the most out of the night.

As for the inconsistencies in communication, I've decided to not let it bother me and just enjoy the company of my other friends.

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