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She says she is too busy
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Author:  monie [ Thu Jan 08, 2009 4:23 pm ]
Post subject:  She says she is too busy
Hey guys,

So i am at college/university and before the christmas break i was hooking up with a great girl.

Then after getting back from the break she says that she is going to be too busy to have anything more than friendship, and even then she said she doesnt know when she will have time to hangout at all.

She says that she will be too busy with school and drama rehersals but wants to grab coffee when it settles down.

Im not too sure what to think, i know she is a busy girl but how should i try and get her to change her mindset and make time?

Really appreciate any help guys.
Author:  Locke [ Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
She just broke up with you in a gentle manner, in which case she is interested in pursuing a friendship. You have to decide if you want that.
Author:  JSmooth [ Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
She just broke up with you in a gentle manner, in which case she is interested in pursuing a friendship. You have to decide if you want that.
I'll just echo Locke here since he's usually right. :)
Author:  Sun of Nothing [ Fri Jan 09, 2009 8:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah, she just cut that one off quite indirectly. I'd tell her that you'll be busy too and you're not sure if you'll be around either. In the mean time, go out and meet at least 5 hotter, more interesting girls. If she does decide to call you "when it settles down," decide whether you want to take her offer or not.

To be honest, I've never really been in this exact situation because I've never seemed to meet anyone much busier than myself.
Author:  Chino Kapone [ Fri Jan 09, 2009 8:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
1. Take her off the pedestal.
2. Freeze her out. It is best for you, so you can focus on meeting other women. She may return after she realizes that you are not the average joe who would go chasing her back down.
3. A woman, no matter how busy she is, will make time for a man if she is interested. She no longer is. If you try to change her mind, you will only push her farther away.
4. My guess is she is hooking up with some new guy... It sucks... bad... I know... but there is no point in sugarcoating it. She doesn't have time for you because she is busy with school, drama, and this new guy she failed to mention.
5. You deserve better.... now go out there, meet a few lovely ladies, and do work son!!

CK
Author:  Locke [ Sat Jan 10, 2009 3:24 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

I'll just echo Locke here since he's usually right. :)

I'll echo Smooth in saying that he is right! :) Smooth!!!!!!!
Author:  Locke [ Sat Jan 10, 2009 3:25 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
4. My guess is she is hooking up with some new guy... It sucks... bad... I know... but there is no point in sugarcoating it. She doesn't have time for you because she is busy with school, drama, and this new guy she failed to mention.
best way to put it!
Author:  Chino Kapone [ Sat Jan 10, 2009 6:50 am ]
Post subject: 
thanks Locke.

I would probably use one of Ace_of_Spades lines in this situation, which i will probably promply butcher.

Tell her... "No. I can't promise to be just your friend. Friends don't put friends in boxes. What I can promise is that nothing more will happen between us unless both you and I are completely ready. "

It will show her you are a strong confident man who's frame cannot be rattled by her stupid little games.

Good luck bro.

CK
Author:  Nickson [ Tue May 08, 2012 3:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
1. Take her off the pedestal.
2. Freeze her out. It is best for you, so you can focus on meeting other women. She may return after she realizes that you are not the average joe who would go chasing her back down.
3. A woman, no matter how busy she is, will make time for a man if she is interested. She no longer is. If you try to change her mind, you will only push her farther away.
4. My guess is she is hooking up with some new guy... It sucks... bad... I know... but there is no point in sugarcoating it. She doesn't have time for you because she is busy with school, drama, and this new guy she failed to mention.
5. You deserve better.... now go out there, meet a few lovely ladies, and do work son!!

CK
Kudos to CK for this perfect answer!

Most guys don't realise how true 3 is. If a woman is interested, she'll bend over backwards to make time for you. "I'm too busy at the moment" means she's not interested.

Women are dominated by their emotions. They will rarely let something like a busy schedule get in the way of following their emotions, especially when those emotions are for a man.

In the case that she genuinely is too busy for you but is interested, she'll make it clear she's interested and she'll put some effort into ensuring you stick around until her busy period is over, such as bombarding you with texts. But when you cop a flat "I'm too busy" or "maybe later, I'm too busy", that means let it go. Just the other day I copped "I don't think so. Things are pretty hectic for me at the moment". I replied with "All the best Sarah." and left it at that. I deleted her number too so if by chance she texts me some time down the track, I'll reply with "who's this?", making it obvious to her that I had no qualms deleting her number and moving on.

In monie's case, she suggested a coffee when things "settle down". This may or may not be something, but whatever it is, if she does want a coffee, SHE has to contact you and SHE has to arrange it. Otherwise, let it go.
Author:  JSmooth [ Tue May 08, 2012 3:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
1. Take her off the pedestal.
2. Freeze her out. It is best for you, so you can focus on meeting other women. She may return after she realizes that you are not the average joe who would go chasing her back down.
3. A woman, no matter how busy she is, will make time for a man if she is interested. She no longer is. If you try to change her mind, you will only push her farther away.
4. My guess is she is hooking up with some new guy... It sucks... bad... I know... but there is no point in sugarcoating it. She doesn't have time for you because she is busy with school, drama, and this new guy she failed to mention.
5. You deserve better.... now go out there, meet a few lovely ladies, and do work son!!

CK
Kudos to CK for this perfect answer!

Most guys don't realise how true 3 is. If a woman is interested, she'll bend over backwards to make time for you. "I'm too busy at the moment" means she's not interested.

Women are dominated by their emotions. They will rarely let something like a busy schedule get in the way of following their emotions, especially when those emotions are for a man.

In the case that she genuinely is too busy for you but is interested, she'll make it clear she's interested and she'll put some effort into ensuring you stick around until her busy period is over, such as bombarding you with texts. But when you cop a flat "I'm too busy" or "maybe later, I'm too busy", that means let it go. Just the other day I copped "I don't think so. Things are pretty hectic for me at the moment". I replied with "All the best Sarah." and left it at that. I deleted her number too so if by chance she texts me some time down the track, I'll reply with "who's this?", making it obvious to her that I had no qualms deleting her number and moving on.

In monie's case, she suggested a coffee when things "settle down". This may or may not be something, but whatever it is, if she does want a coffee, SHE has to contact you and SHE has to arrange it. Otherwise, let it go.
I definitely agree with your posts here and you make some damn good points. Still, why resurrect a thread we responded to almost 3 years ago? LOL. I guess you've been doing some serious research!
Author:  Nickson [ Tue May 08, 2012 4:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
1. Take her off the pedestal.
2. Freeze her out. It is best for you, so you can focus on meeting other women. She may return after she realizes that you are not the average joe who would go chasing her back down.
3. A woman, no matter how busy she is, will make time for a man if she is interested. She no longer is. If you try to change her mind, you will only push her farther away.
4. My guess is she is hooking up with some new guy... It sucks... bad... I know... but there is no point in sugarcoating it. She doesn't have time for you because she is busy with school, drama, and this new guy she failed to mention.
5. You deserve better.... now go out there, meet a few lovely ladies, and do work son!!

CK
Kudos to CK for this perfect answer!

Most guys don't realise how true 3 is. If a woman is interested, she'll bend over backwards to make time for you. "I'm too busy at the moment" means she's not interested.

Women are dominated by their emotions. They will rarely let something like a busy schedule get in the way of following their emotions, especially when those emotions are for a man.

In the case that she genuinely is too busy for you but is interested, she'll make it clear she's interested and she'll put some effort into ensuring you stick around until her busy period is over, such as bombarding you with texts. But when you cop a flat "I'm too busy" or "maybe later, I'm too busy", that means let it go. Just the other day I copped "I don't think so. Things are pretty hectic for me at the moment". I replied with "All the best Sarah." and left it at that. I deleted her number too so if by chance she texts me some time down the track, I'll reply with "who's this?", making it obvious to her that I had no qualms deleting her number and moving on.

In monie's case, she suggested a coffee when things "settle down". This may or may not be something, but whatever it is, if she does want a coffee, SHE has to contact you and SHE has to arrange it. Otherwise, let it go.
I definitely agree with your posts here and you make some damn good points. Still, why resurrect a thread we responded to almost 3 years ago? LOL. I guess you've been doing some serious research!
The thread may be old but the "I'm too busy" excuse is alive and kicking. I was wondering how other guys react to this situation and found the thread very easily on Google. Hopefully someone else having similar issues will find the thread just as easily and be helped by my advice. :)

Edit: Plus, it happened to me recently :lol:
Author:  Captain Catch [ Tue May 08, 2012 5:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'll tell the rest to chase all the echoes, and come here for the REAL answer.

If he accepts your premise that she turned you down gently, then what is all this PUA stuff about?

He is supposed to be able to get her into him right?

So is he supposed to let her walk away, or pursue.

There is s situation in pshycology that basicly says you can actually wear a woman down, over time, with consistent but not overbearing presence.

If this chick in school is somebody u really would want, you can get her. But it will take effort and some intelligence.

Make it a point to be in her presence at regular intervals. Even if its just for 5 minutes every other day or one a week.

Dont reveal your interest, just make yourself seen and known by her. Then subconciously, she will be expecting you to be there.

And if you dont appear once or twice, she will begin to wonder where you are.

But over a period of a few weeks or even months, you can finally ask her out in a way she cant refuse, like I'm going for some ice cream after class today, you wanna join me?

Not, would you like to go out sometime.

it's a long drawn out process, but it can work, it worked for me a few times, and failed a few(if she has a real boyfriend, you wasted a LOT of time)

But if shes worth it to you, its a strategy that works.

Basicly, make her consistently aware of you. But dont overdo it.
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