PUA Forum :: is it good if a girl seems nervouse and your perfectly calm?

I disagree with Plethora on the stone face thing because it can used in certain situations really well - well, if he can keep calm and use that face.

If a girl is qualifying him, then he can keep calm and reframe it. If he's not in that state when a girl's qualifying him and he's FREAKING OUT, then he's fucked.

But I agree that you should stop being inside your head.

No. It is not a bad thing if they're nervous - they're REACTING to your presence. It's much better to have nervousness than to have nothing at all... Then you're an acquaintance, or in the friend zone. What you need to do is to keep calm, get a bit bolder, and put a big smile on your face. Look at them as if they're supposed to be saying something, and that they can't keep up conversations. I love doing this - I intentionally do this to say if the girl will do anything about it. If nothing happens and she's nervous still - then break the silence with something that makes them feel more comfortable, or busts on them for not being able to conversation, and point out what's wrong with the conversation... ie No talking. Say something like, "Wow. You're really talkative.". At this point, I usually have girls laughing, and if I don't, I just keep doing things like this until they do - but sometimes (this has only happened once, and it was over the phone) they're just in a really bad mood and don't want to speak to anybody, they just want to hear your voice.

Nervousness has its own certain energy - and energy is always moving into form, through form, and out of form. What you want to do here is to move completely out of form. If they feel nervous, but you're projecting confidence and comfort then as long as you're making them more comfortable with your presence - your energy will make them move out of nervous energy, into comfortability, and you can choose to take it where you want from there.

Author:	slyguy [ Mon Dec 29, 2008 5:14 am ]
Post subject:	is it good if a girl seems nervouse and your perfectly calm?
alrite so i used to have game back in high school. and i think most of it was b/c i was so chill with all my friends and we all partied w/ each other all the time. it was like we called the shots basically. and i knew if there was a girl i wanted to hook up w/.. that i could. since going to college the only way i can term it is i've become more of a pussy. i hate to say it but i have. i never feel comfortable really, and when i talk to these new girls they seem nervous, and then i get nervous. anyway now i'm fukin w/o tang for like a year and a half and i swear to god its the worst thing ever. i've never been in a slump like this since i was still a virgin. but i think i feel nervouse because i think to myself maybe i should look nervous. but i'm tinking this is stupid. so should i stop this? also when i'm relaxed, i can keep like a stone face w/ just like a little smirk, and pretend like nothing impresses me and shit, i haven't done that yet b/c i figured i wouldnt meet any girls that way. whats your advice?

Author:	Plethora [ Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:13 am ]
Post subject:	Re: is it good if a girl seems nervouse and your perfectly c
Quote: but i think i feel nervouse because i think to myself maybe i should look nervous. but i'm tinking this is stupid. so should i stop this? You should stop thinking. Understand the situation, and trust your subconscious to make the right decisions. Inner game is a very intangible concept, nonetheless it is very real. It all starts with you being completely at ease and comfortable with yourself. In a place where you don't care about the opinions of others about you. If you can master this, then people will definitely warm up to you, then all you need to do is kino-escalate a target and you're in. Quote: also when i'm relaxed, i can keep like a stone face w/ just like a little smirk, and pretend like nothing impresses me and shit, i haven't done that yet b/c i figured i wouldnt meet any girls that way. whats your advice? The more you try to impress girls, the more you push them away. You must be the exception to the rule and deny yourself from entering that state of neediness which is the most unattractive thing you can harbor in yourself.

Author:	roxstar [ Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:56 am ]
Post subject:
I disagree with Plethora on the stone face thing because it can used in certain situations really well - well, if he can keep calm and use that face. If a girl is qualifying him, then he can keep calm and reframe it. If he's not in that state when a girl's qualifying him and he's FREAKING OUT, then he's fucked. But I agree that you should stop being inside your head. No. It is not a bad thing if they're nervous - they're REACTING to your presence. It's much better to have nervousness than to have nothing at all... Then you're an acquaintance, or in the friend zone. What you need to do is to keep calm, get a bit bolder, and put a big smile on your face. Look at them as if they're supposed to be saying something, and that they can't keep up conversations. I love doing this - I intentionally do this to say if the girl will do anything about it. If nothing happens and she's nervous still - then break the silence with something that makes them feel more comfortable, or busts on them for not being able to conversation, and point out what's wrong with the conversation... ie No talking. Say something like, "Wow. You're really talkative.". At this point, I usually have girls laughing, and if I don't, I just keep doing things like this until they do - but sometimes (this has only happened once, and it was over the phone) they're just in a really bad mood and don't want to speak to anybody, they just want to hear your voice. Nervousness has its own certain energy - and energy is always moving into form, through form, and out of form. What you want to do here is to move completely out of form. If they feel nervous, but you're projecting confidence and comfort then as long as you're making them more comfortable with your presence - your energy will make them move out of nervous energy, into comfortability, and you can choose to take it where you want from there.

Author:	Plethora [ Mon Dec 29, 2008 6:25 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I disagree with Plethora on the stone face thing because it can used in certain situations really well - well, if he can keep calm and use that face. If a girl is qualifying him, then he can keep calm and reframe it. If he's not in that state when a girl's qualifying him and he's FREAKING OUT, then he's fucked. But I agree that you should stop being inside your head. No. It is not a bad thing if they're nervous - they're REACTING to your presence. It's much better to have nervousness than to have nothing at all... Then you're an acquaintance, or in the friend zone. What you need to do is to keep calm, get a bit bolder, and put a big smile on your face. Look at them as if they're supposed to be saying something, and that they can't keep up conversations. I love doing this - I intentionally do this to say if the girl will do anything about it. If nothing happens and she's nervous still - then break the silence with something that makes them feel more comfortable, or busts on them for not being able to conversation, and point out what's wrong with the conversation... ie No talking. Say something like, "Wow. You're really talkative.". At this point, I usually have girls laughing, and if I don't, I just keep doing things like this until they do - but sometimes (this has only happened once, and it was over the phone) they're just in a really bad mood and don't want to speak to anybody, they just want to hear your voice. Nervousness has its own certain energy - and energy is always moving into form, through form, and out of form. What you want to do here is to move completely out of form. If they feel nervous, but you're projecting confidence and comfort then as long as you're making them more comfortable with your presence - your energy will make them move out of nervous energy, into comfortability, and you can choose to take it where you want from there. I never said that about the stone face. I was talking about the part where he said "I figured I wouldn't meet any girls that way," which implies that he is using an assertive manner of attracting girls (probably by displaying an undertone of neediness and beta behavior). Being non-reactive is powerful, but it can not accomplish the goal by itself. If you can couple that with charm, wit, warmth, physical touch, then it will be farm more effective. About the nervousness. The OP talked about becoming nervous because the girl was. This displays that she has the dominant frame, and you are not leading her. You aren't going to attract if you can not display dominance and alpha male status. You should retain a calm, relaxed demeanor, and if a girl is nervous at first, then by the strength of your frame (by not wavering/caring about other people's opinion of you) you will suck her into a more pleasant place of comfort. She will subconsciously be very grateful for eliminate that feeling of discomfort and consequently be more open to you.

Author:	roxstar [ Mon Dec 29, 2008 8:03 pm ]
Post subject:
alright, fair enough

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Author:	slyguy [ Mon Dec 29, 2008 9:34 pm ]
Post subject:
is it good bein a smartass too? not too much, but maybe bustin her about something shes wearing or something?

Author:	Plethora [ Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:36 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: is it good bein a smartass too? not too much, but maybe bustin her about something shes wearing or something? Yep

Author:	roxstar [ Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:55 pm ]
Post subject:
I love being a smartass. I am a smartass. So, go for it.

Author:	slyguy [ Tue Dec 30, 2008 2:29 am ]
Post subject:
haha i love bein a smartass too. usually i get a girl to like hit me or something .. not in a bad way.. buts its points. but i get stuck, like once i'm gettin the time goin good and stuff, i have trouble sealin the deal .. i usually dont know how to go about things, unless its a girl i've been w/ before. but with new girls i never know if i should just go into hooking up or not

Author:	roxstar [ Tue Dec 30, 2008 5:10 am ]
Post subject:
Okay, well you can learn routine. This isn't really necessary, and naturals have proved it. I don't let girls hit me too much. Unless it's just a little while, or if I think I can pin her up against the wall, or take her to the ground. If you're just letting her hit you, then it can form a habit = abusive relationship. One way to turn it around is to be catching her hands or blocking, another is to (if she slaps you in the face) is to kiss her hand. I don't mind poking... It's not that bad. Or frame her punches as her wanting to grope you. How do you act with your friends? You probably just go along with the conversation, add to it, when it starts getting boring, then you change the subject. When I watched Infield Insider with Sinn, he made me realize that I was riding the conversation thread for as long as I could before it got boring - then I change the subject. And if they start bringing up old topics then you just say something uncaringly, then change it again. But having inside joke-type things is fine to have. Well, the hooking up thing immediately is kind of your opinion - but I would do it. If you just have the sex then you don't have to play games anymore, you can just be an awesome person... Well, if you don't screw up the sex. And not making a girl seem like a slut is pretty important.

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