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Is Rapport/Comfort frameless?
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Author:  Ravenhill [ Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:36 am ]
Post subject:  Is Rapport/Comfort frameless?
I ask because I'm totally new at this and my biggest sticking point is a consistent, alpha Frame.
It's easier to lapse into nicey nicey fluff territory than it is THINK about what I'm doing. So, after my wobbly newbie attempts at Attraction, and getting into Comfort, I tend to drop Frame and... well... be myself.

The thing is, it works. Comfort is created. I just don't know if it's working on a friend level or an 'It's ON!' level.

I don't even know if these are the same things.

After all, once you got Attraction, unless you mess it up big time, you move into a friendly dialogue kinda thing anyway, getting to know them.

Is there any difference between Rapport building and friendship building? (except for including or omitting the Attraction phase, of course, which is explained time and again as the cause of LJBF.)

Ok, I guess I got to give you a short field report to explain...

RAVEN'S FIRST DAY 2
Or
How Do You Game A Girl On Day Two When Her Ugly Sister Is With You?

Met these two sisters, one a sweet-and-hippy 8, one doesn't even register. I wasn't Gaming then, but got their numbers anyway.

Had a few drinks in a pub with both tonight. After attempting Attraction, with my ballbusting and rickety DHVs and wobbly Push Pull, I realised my Game had slipped and I was fluffing. But fluffing well and still running routines (stories, reciting poetry, building similarities between us.) Tried subtle kino with HB8 but it just felt wrong with her sister there.

The biggest thing was I had lost my Frame-y edge. And it would have felt incongruous to start the Push Pull etc. over again (never Game backwards.)

I was getting a few IOIs from each (lingering looks, giggling, both DHVing to me and the wonderful "we're both single" - DDB combo) but I have to admit that, whilst I was definitely the alpha of the conversation, it felt more friendly.
But then, on the flip side, no girl is going to start getting seriously seductive with her sister there...

Got a big hug from each at the end, along with a lingering over-the-shoulder-as-she-walks-away look from Ms Hippy HB8.

This is too long... will sum up my questions and STOP TYPING!

1) What techniques do you use to keep Game at the front of your mind?
2) Comfort stage / Friendship building. Same, different?
3) Comfort stage - less/no 'Strong, Alpha Guy' frame?
4) Have had around 3 cumulative hours (but that's with BOTH of them there) and am definitely in Comfort stage. What can I do now to amp up the Attraction?
5) How do you Game an HB with her sister present?
6) What do I do if, as my spidey-sense suspects, they both fancy me? Obviously perfect for jealousy-based Game, but they are sisters and live together and that would just get messy.

If you made it this far, cheers :)
Author:  Plethora [ Tue Nov 04, 2008 3:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is Rapport/Comfort frameless?
Quote:
1) What techniques do you use to keep Game at the front of your mind?
2) Comfort stage / Friendship building. Same, different?
3) Comfort stage - less/no 'Strong, Alpha Guy' frame?
4) Have had around 3 cumulative hours (but that's with BOTH of them there) and am definitely in Comfort stage. What can I do now to amp up the Attraction?
5) How do you Game an HB with her sister present?
6) What do I do if, as my spidey-sense suspects, they both fancy me? Obviously perfect for jealousy-based Game, but they are sisters and live together and that would just get messy.

If you made it this far, cheers :)
1) The Game should always be in the back of your mind during comfort. In the front of your mind you should be listening to what she has to say and comment intellectually on it. The only aspects that you should remain conscious of are your sticking points that aren't natural to you. These are generally things like remembering to kino escalate and pursuing a kiss close.
2) If you game correctly, then no they are different. If you failed to create attraction, or fail to kino, or fail to show active interest in her, then it is possible that you could slip into the 'friend zone.'
3) In the comfort stage you are returning attraction and interest, so you are allowing her to enter your frame. You are not 'being someone else,' you are validating her because she has proven herself worthy to you. But from an outside perspective, yes, you are being 'nicer' and friendlier.
4) Attraction should be there from the start. She probably decided withing the first few minutes whether she wanted to hook up with you. From then on it is just easing her into it by letting her feel more comfortable with you touching her and also creating an emotional connection. If you do not build this emotion connection (done through the 'fluff talk') and show genuine interest in her personality, then she will probably not want to see you on a day 2. But to answer your question: Kino and trust tests/k-close routines.
5) Acknowledge the sister and make her your friend. If you win her over then she will let you have her sister no problem. "Hey, your sister and I like each other, are you cool with that?" "Uh... sure." "She's a little shy though and doesn't want to kiss me in front of you, do you mind turning around for a second?" (Ha, I love that one. The target basically has to comply and kiss you.)
6) It could work in your favor and both could compete over you, or if they are close then they might cock-block each other. My advice would be to tell one of them that you like the other and ask if she was cool with it (see above).

Hope this helped a bit.
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