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my one-itis fucked me over... again! advice?
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Author:  bahumbug [ Fri May 23, 2008 7:39 pm ]
Post subject:  my one-itis fucked me over... again! advice?
long story short, i went to high school with this girl. we went to homecoming my senior year and was supposed to go to prom but we ended up fighting and not going.

we've always had a connection but we never officially dated.

then we went to the same college. we were getting along great until she got her first college bf. she'd rub him in my face by kissing him infront of me and making sure i saw. i told her we shouldn't talk anymore. that lasted 7 months... and into my sophomore college year.

then i started reading about pick up! over winter break, i gamed her well enough that she cheated on him and hooked up with me. a few months later, they broke up. we hooked up, no sex but pretty close. i wanted to take it slow.

we went road tripping, had a great connection etc. came back to school and 3 weeks later she starts dating a mormon. again, i decided it was best that we didn't talk. I froze her ass out for 8 months. they broke up a couple months ago due to the fact that he was cheating on her with another mormon chick. fyi, she's also mormon but wasn't a relaly good one until she started dating this guy.

so a few weeks after she broke up with the mormon, we started talking again. i got her into bed twice and didn't have sex, but again pretty close. i chose to take it slow. i didn't game her for a couple weeks and concentrated on doing well on my finals (3rd year of college). we drifted apart and now it looks like she's about to start dating another guy.

i know i've made some mistakes. she's my one-itis and my soft spot. i'd turn into an AFC within seconds if my inner game wasn't solid for a day.

what do you guys suggest i should do? i've hooked up with other chicks when me and her aren't talking.

i realize i dont want to ever stop talking to her again but i dont know how i'm going to have solid game if she's always in the back of my mind. she's fucked me over 3 times now and i know it sounds crazy but deep down i'm willing to give it another go. just reading this, i realize the best thing to do is probably move on....

i left alot of detail out but any suggestions to clear my head will be greatly appreciated!
Author:  Nagathi [ Fri May 23, 2008 7:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Three times have you had her, and three times have you lost her. You have told us how you won her back, but nothing about how you lost her. What went wrong?

~ Nag
Author:  bahumbug [ Fri May 23, 2008 7:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
i said some AFC comments while we were making out.

now that i have all those PU knowledge, i know exactly how i lost her this time around: i failed her shit tests and answered with AFC answers

IE
"why did you start talking to me after 8 mo?"
me: "cauuse i missed you"

:oops:

this past mon, i told her online that we should grab lunch. tuesday, i call her up and say let's go to lunch wednesday. tues afternoon she calls me up saying she's working and didn't suggest any way to reconcile.

i haven't talked to her since. her facebook says she's not feeling well. i dont know if i say something like "... blah blah if you need anything let me know blah blah blah " but that's just way AFC

if it was any other girl, i'd moved on along time ago. my roommates ex gf came over last night (i can tell she's somewhat attracted to me) and told me i could do so much better than my one-itis chick without knowing our history.
Author:  Nagathi [ Fri May 23, 2008 8:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hmm.. My spontaneous advice would be to get another girl and show your one-itis how good a boyfriend you are. Pretty much do the stuff she did to you a while back. But if you don't see her often, that might be an issue.

Apart from the common GFTOG, I don't really know what you should do. Show that you're not an AFC, either directly to her, or by getting a new girl and somehow make her aware of that 8and make her jealous).

I'd wait for the advice from the gurus though :)

~ Nag
Author:  bahumbug [ Tue May 27, 2008 3:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
lots of stuff went down this weekend. i called her up last second for her to come back home with me for the 3 day weekend. we left school and drove 9 hrs to our home town. we had an amazing time during the drive.

however, her religion won't allow her to have sex until she gets married. this isn't helping us because we connect so well that at times, i told her i was about to jump on her and rail her. she wanted it to happen too.

we got back to school and it drove her nuts that she wasn't around me an hour after i dropped her off at her place. she came over and we talked.

i told her that it's best for her to find a boy that's her religion and for me to finally move on. she cried. i knew we both didn't want to hear that....

i dont know what to do...
Author:  Nagathi [ Tue May 27, 2008 4:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Seems to be going both good and bad for ya.

Sadly, it's no longer a PUA issue. It's about religion vs. human instincts/needs. Only you and the girl can decide to obey the religion, or give in for the pleasure of being connected in the most personal level possible. We can't really advice you to ignore her religion. It's a choice you have to do together with her.

This is one of the reasons why I'm an atheist.

~ Nag
Author:  bahumbug [ Thu May 29, 2008 5:58 am ]
Post subject: 
seems like she's made her decision: stick with her religion. i don't really feel like going into details about our relationship so i'll leave it at that. i can tell she's as upset, if not more upset, than i am about this twisted situation... people want what they can't have.

it's accepted that we're both going our separate ways while maintaining our friendship. however, everytime we talk/text i can't help but think about us being together.

i think i need a kick in the butt, go out and game every cutie i see :twisted:

any suggestions on what i can to do remind myself to game other girls and get over my one-itis?

btw, Nagathi, i really appreciate your posts. you were very helpful.
Author:  Nagathi [ Thu May 29, 2008 10:58 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
it's accepted that we're both going our separate ways while maintaining our friendship. however, everytime we talk/text i can't help but think about us being together.
That's the big issue of LJBF. The feelings won't ever really cool off. It's tough, but it's life. And as all PUAs will tell you: you need to get over her, and the best method would be to Go Find Ten Other Girls (GFTOG)
Quote:
any suggestions on what i can to do remind myself to game other girls and get over my one-itis?
You'll gain experience
You'll let her mature
You'll have a big chance of finding someone better than your one-itis. Even if you don't think you will, or want to.
Quote:
btw, Nagathi, i really appreciate your posts. you were very helpful.
Anytime, pal. I've had my share of one-itis in the past and can relate to how you feel and think.

~ Nag
Author:  saqchek [ Thu May 29, 2008 1:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Jesus christ man. Grow a set of balls. She keeps coming back to you because you are the lame AFC she knows she can work over. You aren't gaming her, she is gaming you. "Because I missed you"??....lol WHat kind of retarded shit is that? You just told her that she can now do whatever she wants and run back to you whenever she likes. I would put this girl in the past and move on. Some things I suggest you work on.

1) inner game and not displaying needy traits
2) have other shit going for you in life (hobbies/career/education/friends)
3) date other women (will add to the jealousy plot)
Author:  bahumbug [ Thu May 29, 2008 5:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Jesus christ man. Grow a set of balls. She keeps coming back to you because you are the lame AFC she knows she can work over. You aren't gaming her, she is gaming you. "Because I missed you"??....lol WHat kind of retarded shit is that? You just told her that she can now do whatever she wants and run back to you whenever she likes. I would put this girl in the past and move on. Some things I suggest you work on.

1) inner game and not displaying needy traits
2) have other shit going for you in life (hobbies/career/education/friends)
3) date other women (will add to the jealousy plot)
lol thanks i needed to hear that.

to defend myself though, i felt that i gamed her really well this last time around. i watched myself and cut the AFC shit out, almost completely. i did lots of push/pull, did a1, a2, a3... had her wanting to jump on me but then she'd almost start crying just cause she really wanted to but can't. i said to her on monday that it's best for her to find that perfect mormon guy and for me to finally moved on. she completely lost it at that point.

but you're right. i agree that she has gamed in the past, but not as much this time around.
Author:  bahumbug [ Thu May 29, 2008 5:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

1) inner game and not displaying needy traits
2) have other shit going for you in life (hobbies/career/education/friends)
3) date other women (will add to the jealousy plot)
1) my inner game is much better than it used to be. i doubt any girl or friend i know will think of me as needy. however, i'm sure judging from my previous posts that it may appear otherwise.

2) i'm almost done with college. i have too many hobbies. i actually introduced her to fly fishing on the drive down to change up the venue and make things interesting. on the drive back, we shot my air pistol pellet gun. something that she hasn't done before either.

3) yeah, i need to go out and not just open more but start closing more consistently.

i appreciate the advice and will work to improve on these areas!!
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