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| Negging a girl with low self-esteem (horrible mistake) https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20850 |
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| Author: | NOILLUSION [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 7:28 am ] |
| Post subject: | Negging a girl with low self-esteem (horrible mistake) |
Didn't know she had LSE What do you guys do to recover the situation when this happens and she really takes it to heart? Just happened to me recently. I fixed the situation though there was a lot of drama involved, i mean, it required so much extra work from me. lol. Weird thing is, she admitted to having low self-esteem when I brought it up. Do girls with low self-esteem normally do that? |
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| Author: | Solomon II [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
What exactly did you say to her? The rules are to never apologise directly, however if she was genuinely hurt by it then a simple 'just kidding' isn't gonna do the trick. So yeah, you'd better start kissing her ass or her friends will think you're a prick and you'll not have a very good time with that. As a matter of fact, offer to take her out some time to make it up to her. |
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| Author: | cupid [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
so how did you fix the situation?! |
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| Author: | Killians [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 2:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
What did you say to her? It seems like a lot of guys who try to "neg" just end up insulting the girl because they dont do it correctly. |
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| Author: | NOILLUSION [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I joked about the reality tv shows she watched (big brother). She thought I was making fun of her way of life. I made fun of how she randomly smiles in class. I said I liked how she stammers when she talks and I found it funny and asked if she was nervous around me (she was like yea I know, it's not because I'm nervous or anything) And that's about it. She said when I said those things to her it made her feel somehow irritated. I didn't really apologize to her. I was like, wow I was just teasing you I didn't know you'd be hurt. Lmao, you guys don't wanna know all the details of how I ended up fixing the situation. Took a lot of DHVing/DLV, and empathizing with how she felt when I said those things to her. It resulted in a 1 hour 20 minute, no pretense kind of conversation with her on the phone, and I think we were completely real with each other. We just sorta backtracked to find out what went wrong and decided to start over now having a better understanding of each other's personality. I found out why she was avoiding me and stuff. And I was like, "who taught you to be rude to a guy like that? You should just reject them straight up because many guys can't take the hint." And I said that I wasn't like other guys, that I never get mad or jealous so she could say anything she felt like telling me. (This was the truth because very few things trigger my anger. Actions will trigger my anger, but words can never trigger my anger. And in the rare occasions that I do get mad, I can dissipate my anger within a matter of seconds). Another thing she mentioned was that she feels we are really different people, which is true. But what I don't understand is why so many girls say that as a way of saying "I'm not interested." I told her that I think it's stupid to make friends who are similar to me, that I don't look for friends so I can have a bunch of people who agree with me. (Is that what most people do?). I look for friends with whom I can share outlooks on life with. In the end, I realized that it would be really tough to game this girl, and it just wasn't worth it anymore. I started to be kinda turned off by her personality too. So I decided to put myself back in the friendzone, but I will still try teasing her (she said I could now) while simultaneously trying to raise her self-image of herself. I think I'll teach her inner game or something. But in the future, just how exactly do you game a girl with LSE? I'm gonna stay away from negging, but do I still DHV when she already feels lower than me? If not what should I do? just build rapport? run the cube game and kino? |
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| Author: | danny91664 [ Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:05 am ] |
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hey man, im somewhat in the same boat. theres a girl in my class that i've been talkin to for the past 2 weeks now. i know its pretty AFC of me to not even get a number close yet. i always make up excuses to myself saying that shes not right for me or whatnot. But what i think is that this girl is pretty insecure about herself. i can tell from the way she doesnt hold her opinions very strong, like if someone challenges something she says, she'll back down. but then other times she'll try to have an attitude with me. and i just shoot her back down. Is this her trying to DHV? i know that ive already established my higher value to her by being the talkative guy with everyone in class. Should i stop negging her or keep doing it when she's trying to DHV? |
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| Author: | Krylon [ Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Are you serious? This is the kind of shit that I mean. You guys just throw negs around like they're fuckin pennies in a wishing well. Remember: YOU DO NOT NEG EVERY FUCKING GIRL YOU COME ACROSS Why don't people understand that. |
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| Author: | NOILLUSION [ Wed Apr 30, 2008 4:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
yea, but this girl didn't come across as having low self-esteem. I didn't realize it till later. but yea I guess I should be more careful. But then, a neg is just a backhanded joke... I don't run into many people who can't take jokes. |
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| Author: | Krylon [ Wed Apr 30, 2008 6:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: yea, but this girl didn't come across as having low self-esteem. I didn't realize it till later. but yea I guess I should be more careful. But then, a neg is just a backhanded joke... I don't run into many people who can't take jokes.
A Neg is a backhanded compliment. Not a joke. And just because she didn't seem to have low self esteem doesn't mean it's okay to neg her. Negs are reserved for 8½+ HBs that know they are hott. And have a fair amount of confidence. It seems the entire community has gone neg crazy to be honest. The sad part is none of you that use them know the appropriate time so they backfire and only then some of you see what you did wrong. Assess the situation before you go full bore. Basically what I'm saying is think before you open your mouth. |
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| Author: | Hopeless Romantic [ Wed Apr 30, 2008 7:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote:
I said I liked how she stammers when she talks and I found it funny and asked if she was nervous around me (she was like yea I know, it's not because I'm nervous or anything)
Yeah the stammer can be a big thing. I sometimes stutter and I get really embarassed if someone makes fun of me about it. Its a very touchy spot for me, though I am trying to work on it.
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| Author: | Krylon [ Thu May 01, 2008 2:29 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Read this. It may help you. negging-a-girl-with-low-self-esteem-hor ... 20850.html |
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