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Dropping hints.
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Author:  prankster463 [ Mon Sep 18, 2017 12:53 am ]
Post subject:  Dropping hints.

I've been seeing this girl for some time. It's really good! She started dropping hints about relationship, she said she'd want to be my girlfriend one day, that we look like a long term couple.
Then when I ask her about it she'd say she doesn't want to rush things.

Am I just seeking for too much confirmation and she doesn't just want to seem easy? I like and want her to be my girlfriend but how early is it too early to ask?

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Sep 18, 2017 1:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dropping hints.

Quote:
I've been seeing this girl for some time. It's really good! She started dropping hints about relationship, she said she'd want to be my girlfriend one day, that we look like a long term couple.
Then when I ask her about it she'd say she doesn't want to rush things.
Your answer is right there. She's on the fence about exclusivity.

Note the "one day" comment. That doesn't mean "right now".

Hang back, keep doing what you're doing, minus the relationship confirmation.

Author:  prankster463 [ Mon Sep 18, 2017 11:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dropping hints.

Quote:
Quote:
I've been seeing this girl for some time. It's really good! She started dropping hints about relationship, she said she'd want to be my girlfriend one day, that we look like a long term couple.
Then when I ask her about it she'd say she doesn't want to rush things.
Your answer is right there. She's on the fence about exclusivity.

Note the "one day" comment. That doesn't mean "right now".

Hang back, keep doing what you're doing, minus the relationship confirmation.
Basically don't bring it up and wait for her to start the conversation?

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Sep 18, 2017 7:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dropping hints.

Yes, stop bringing it up with her or dropping hints.

She's not ready, as she has told you.

Author:  Finished [ Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dropping hints.

Have you had sex with her?

Author:  Jay Lay [ Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dropping hints.

How long is some time? Why don't you just try asking for what you want? If a relationship is what you want, just try asking for it and see what happens.

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dropping hints.

Quote:
How long is some time? Why don't you just try asking for what you want? If a relationship is what you want, just try asking for it and see what happens.
He's already done that in a passive/aggressive way and got shot down.

doing it again would be emotionally-uncentered.

Author:  prankster463 [ Mon Sep 18, 2017 10:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dropping hints.

Quote:
Have you had sex with her?
Not yet which is what is throwing me off even more. We're going away for the weekend and it's definitelty on.


@Arch I never actually asked directly about. I was just asking what she meant to the point I wanted her to ask me the question.

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Sep 18, 2017 10:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dropping hints.

you have to drop any thought of it, my friend. You guys haven't even had sex yet.

focus on being in the moment, and fun. You are a long, long way off from bf/gf.

Author:  prankster463 [ Fri Sep 22, 2017 3:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dropping hints.

Quote:
you have to drop any thought of it, my friend. You guys haven't even had sex yet.

focus on being in the moment, and fun. You are a long, long way off from bf/gf.
UPDATE.

We had sex last night and she initiated the conversation. She said she's been dropping hints and she wants a relationship with potential if getting married one day etc.

Here's a trick. I am going away tomorrow for 4 weeks. I'll also travel a lot over the next few months. We both decided it's just distance being the issue and are willing to make it work but travelling to see each other etc.

She said she wants to be my girlfriend but the idea of getting into relationship now would freak her out with me going away tomorrow. She wants to do it after the 4 weeks. At the same time she says we're together, we're a couple and exclusive.

What's up with the big deal with this label??? Can anybody break this down for me please.

Author:  Pilgrim Miester [ Fri Sep 22, 2017 5:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dropping hints.

Quote:
Quote:
you have to drop any thought of it, my friend. You guys haven't even had sex yet.

focus on being in the moment, and fun. You are a long, long way off from bf/gf.
UPDATE.

We had sex last night and she initiated the conversation. She said she's been dropping hints and she wants a relationship with potential if getting married one day etc.

Here's a trick. I am going away tomorrow for 4 weeks. I'll also travel a lot over the next few months. We both decided it's just distance being the issue and are willing to make it work but travelling to see each other etc.

She said she wants to be my girlfriend but the idea of getting into relationship now would freak her out with me going away tomorrow. She wants to do it after the 4 weeks. At the same time she says we're together, we're a couple and exclusive.

What's up with the big deal with this label??? Can anybody break this down for me please.
The lable means you both become exclusive to each other (i.e. your one and only). Without the label, you both can see other people while seeing eachother and keeping your options open. Not really that difficult to grasp.

Author:  prankster463 [ Fri Sep 22, 2017 5:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dropping hints.

Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
you have to drop any thought of it, my friend. You guys haven't even had sex yet.

focus on being in the moment, and fun. You are a long, long way off from bf/gf.
UPDATE.

We had sex last night and she initiated the conversation. She said she's been dropping hints and she wants a relationship with potential if getting married one day etc.

Here's a trick. I am going away tomorrow for 4 weeks. I'll also travel a lot over the next few months. We both decided it's just distance being the issue and are willing to make it work but travelling to see each other etc.

She said she wants to be my girlfriend but the idea of getting into relationship now would freak her out with me going away tomorrow. She wants to do it after the 4 weeks. At the same time she says we're together, we're a couple and exclusive.

What's up with the big deal with this label??? Can anybody break this down for me please.
The lable means you both become exclusive to each other (i.e. your one and only). Without the label, you both can see other people while seeing eachother and keeping your options open. Not really that difficult to grasp.
Not what I was asking mate. Basically why is she saying we're all those things but doesn't want to be a boyfriend/girlfriend until after I come back in 4 weeks.

Author:  JackZero [ Fri Sep 22, 2017 6:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dropping hints.

Quote:
Basically why is she saying we're all those things but doesn't want to be a boyfriend/girlfriend until after I come back in 4 weeks.
Serious question to you. Why does it matter?

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Fri Sep 22, 2017 8:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dropping hints.

Quote:
UPDATE.

We had sex last night and she initiated the conversation.
See how this works?
Quote:

What's up with the big deal with this label??? Can anybody break this down for me please.
It means she thinks you're a catch. She values you...especially when SHE initiates the exclusive talk.

Author:  prankster463 [ Sun Sep 24, 2017 10:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dropping hints.

Quote:
Quote:
UPDATE.

We had sex last night and she initiated the conversation.
See how this works?
Quote:

What's up with the big deal with this label??? Can anybody break this down for me please.
It means she thinks you're a catch. She values you...especially when SHE initiates the exclusive talk.
Another update - what's going on here?

So after the talk nothing really happened. I was flying out on Saturday and was meeting her Friday night. I tried to organise a nice evening with dinner etc. Just before meeting her she text me saying she wasn't drinking and had to be up early the next day so there goes my plan. Got pissed off as I thought it was disrespectful of my time.

Met her anyway. Was grumpy and things didn't go well. I pointed out what was bothering me and how it looked disrespectful to me. What I got back shocked me "you need to chill the fuck down, this is too intense for me" coming from a girl who not less than 24h ago was talking about relationship and when it was going to happen.

Dropped her home. We texted and said things were okay. I was flying the next morning. She text me wishing a safe flight and "can't believe you're gone x".

She hasn't replied since. Been following my Instagram stories etc but clearly ignoring my message that I sent. I only replied to her text and then asked how her day was.

Is this me or is she being very difficult and weird? Or am I missing something?

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