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How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
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Author:  fineas [ Sun Jul 16, 2017 5:16 pm ]
Post subject:  How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
I have just moved to London after graduating for work, and it seems so difficult to make friends here.

I have friends at work... but they don't want to hang out with colleagues after work.

I have gone to meetup events and taken classes but : 1. The majority of them are old people (30+) that don't want to hang out with young kids (I'm 23) and are hard to vibe with. 2. People at meetup actually never keep in touch after the events. They go there to mingle... but they don't keep in contact with the one they've met and don't seem to be willing to commit to a platonic relationship. Some of them are there just for hookups.

None of my old friend from uni leaves in the city, so I pretty much have to start from scratch. In London, if you ask someone to hang out with you, they either are too busy or they think you are a lonely and don't have friends, and they don't want to hang out with people like that.

I just need a way to get started - having at least 2-3 friends that I can frequently hangout - then I can have the momentum going forward. But it's damn hard in this city. It was much easier back in school where everyone was open to new friendship and didn't have their own circle...
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Jul 17, 2017 12:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
Quote:
I have just moved to London after graduating for work, and it seems so difficult to make friends here.
Your frame is way, way off.

The bull elk doesn't need to be part of the frat.

Approach women, ask them out.

Get "friends" out of your head and replace with "harem".

You have to be happy with YOU, in your own skin. You have to be confident in YOU, alone, at the bar. You have to have the mentality that you are the fucking party. And if you are fit enough, playful enough, and centered enough, women WILL think the party and "adventure" is at your place, always. Not fucking activity night on Main street.
Author:  R.C [ Mon Jul 17, 2017 6:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
Quote:

Your frame is way, way off.

The bull elk doesn't need to be part of the frat.

Approach women, ask them out.

Get "friends" out of your head and replace with "harem".

You have to be happy with YOU, in your own skin. You have to be confident in YOU, alone, at the bar. You have to have the mentality that you are the fucking party. And if you are fit enough, playful enough, and centered enough, women WILL think the party and "adventure" is at your place, always. Not fucking activity night on Main street.
The dude is talking about making friends not getting a harem.

@OP, it can suck the be the new guy in a new city. Mainly because people will have established circles already. To be honest though, the workplace will be your best bet. For the simple reason that you spend a big portion of your time there, every day.
People will eventually agree to go our after work.
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Jul 17, 2017 9:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
Why does a man need to "bro out" if he's got 2-3 gorgeous women blowing up his phone? Who has time for that shit?

1. Goals. Career and fitness.
2. Sex with women (or a woman) who blow your mind.
3. A cool hobby.

Then ya die.
Author:  R.C [ Mon Jul 17, 2017 9:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
Quote:
Why does a man need to "bro out" if he's got 2-3 gorgeous women blowing up his phone? Who has time for that shit?
Because there's more to life than 2-3 gorgeous women.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Mon Jul 17, 2017 1:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
No one wants to be friend with someone that NEEDS friends. To make friends you have to be something that someone wants to be apart of. I can make friends very easily, for the simple fact that I have a lifestyle BY MYSELF that other guys want to be apart of. And I make friends with guys who either share my lifestyle, or have create a different lifestyle than I that I would also like to be apart of.

Friendships are businesses. It all about what you bring to the table. Are you the activator(The one that gets everyone riled up and going), are you the comedic relief, do you get the girls, are you the money maker? What is your role?

You can't force someone to be your friend, just like you can't force a girl to sleep with you. You have to create something for yourself separately that other people want to be apart of. What can you bring into the lives of those that you want to be friends with? When you answer that and get rooted in that response, you will approach guys and girls with that level of confidence that says " Having me in your life will make your life better than it already is". When youapproach saying " Can you be my friend so I can improve my life?" no one is going to want to be apart of that. Improve the lives of those around you and you will always have friends.
Author:  DJ_Z [ Mon Jul 17, 2017 1:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
Quote:
Quote:
Why does a man need to "bro out" if he's got 2-3 gorgeous women blowing up his phone? Who has time for that shit?
Because there's more to life than 2-3 gorgeous women.
Yup, and your total lack of friends arch may be a sign that you are...wait for it...an asshole.
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Jul 17, 2017 3:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
I have a lot of male friends in my field. But I hang out mostly with women


I just don't have time to hang at Jim's backyard barbecue shooting the shit. Maybe my sex drive is higher than most.
Author:  DJ_Z [ Tue Jul 18, 2017 12:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
Quote:
I have a lot of male friends in my field. But I hang out mostly with women


I just don't have time to hang at Jim's backyard barbecue shooting the shit. Maybe my sex drive is higher than most.

Fuzzy logic at best, but your posts are generally based on poor forms of argument. The reality is I view pickup as a hobby. I can be happy alone or with women around. I have male friends with whom I can enjoy the non-sexual aspects of life. Then when I want to get laid I go find whichever her will be there fastest.

Your use of sex drive and the implication that it reflects your alleged masculinity was a thinly veiled attempt at poisoning the well of discussion. It basically reminded me of a family guy but where peter griffin says in the US House of Representatives "anyone who doesn't want war with Iraq is gay" to trigger them into agreement.

As usual, you are wrong. I wonder when that fool running GLL will see you ripping off his schtick.
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Tue Jul 18, 2017 12:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
Quote:
I have male friends with whom I can enjoy the non-sexual aspects of life.
Then when I want to get laid I go find whichever her will be there fastest.

Sounds weird to me.

I enjoy hanging around women, and then being with one who blows my mind,and making it better and better. Then having her bring in women, etc.

Quote:
Your use of sex drive and the implication that it reflects your alleged masculinity was a thinly veiled attempt at poisoning the well of discussion.
Not at all, it was a sincere thought on my part, perhaps questioning my own sex drive internally compared to others, and also wondered if it can be a distraction for me from time to time. you just took it the wrong way, because you get easily irritated (perhaps by hanging out with bros too much, lol).

Quote:
As usual, you are wrong. I wonder when that fool running GLL will see you ripping off his schtick.
I have no idea what GLL is.
Author:  JackZero [ Tue Jul 18, 2017 1:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
Quote:
Sounds weird to me.

I enjoy hanging around women, and then being with one who blows my mind,and making it better and better. Then having her bring in women, etc.
I doubt that it really seems weird to you since that is the norm for most people. It's okay that you prefer to hang out with women over men but the reason is pretty obvious. Just like when women say they only have male friends, it's because they can't get along with other women. You have demonstrated on the forum that you have a hard time getting along with other men and it's probably due to the importance of dominance to you.
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Tue Jul 18, 2017 1:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
Perhaps.

But there are dominant men here, which is why I think I enjoy the forum. But in person, I find most men to be annoying, and overall the inferior sex 95% of the time.
Author:  JackZero [ Tue Jul 18, 2017 4:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
Quote:
Perhaps.

But there are dominant men here, which is why I think I enjoy the forum. But in person, I find most men to be annoying, and overall the inferior sex 95% of the time.
Although I wouldn't agree with your inferior sex statement but at least now you are making sense behind your reasoning for why you'd rather hang out with women. The whole "Maybe my sex drive is higher than most" thing and not having time to shoot the shit are basically straw man statements aimed at guys that enjoy hanging out with other guys when it's simply a personal preference.
Author:  neo87 [ Tue Jul 18, 2017 5:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
Quote:
Quote:
I have just moved to London after graduating for work, and it seems so difficult to make friends here.
Your frame is way, way off.

The bull elk doesn't need to be part of the frat.

Approach women, ask them out.

Get "friends" out of your head and replace with "harem".

You have to be happy with YOU, in your own skin. You have to be confident in YOU, alone, at the bar. You have to have the mentality that you are the fucking party. And if you are fit enough, playful enough, and centered enough, women WILL think the party and "adventure" is at your place, always. Not fucking activity night on Main street.
This sounds like a shield to appear to be something you're not ("women will THINK the party and adventure is at your place."). That's all superficial. Seduction is great, but let's be honest, ignoring chicks to drive them crazy and working out don't translate over to having guy friends. You cant even be yourself with these women, so its not strange that you wont have male friends who won't stick around for the games that women would. Drop the games man and just be yourself. You've taken the tactics way too far and have lost the balance. Nothing wrong with a preference, but coming from someone who insists that being genuine is a no no, it doesnt sound like a preference. I'd prefer people I can just relax with, than a harem where I'm playing by their rules to sustain it.
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Tue Jul 18, 2017 9:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to have a social circle after uni/college ?
Quote:
This sounds like a shield to appear to be something you're not ("women will THINK the party and adventure is at your place.").
But that is what I am, haha. Most guys think the "adventure" is wine and roses, or hot air balloon rides, or other things that try to buy women favor. When the core adventure should primarily be passion/orgasms/fun. The adventure is YOU, not anything external. Most guys don't get that if you're good enough in bed, fit, emotionally-centered and focused on your goals, your bedroom is an amazing playground, every night (if you so choose).

Quote:
That's all superficial. Seduction is great, but let's be honest, ignoring chicks to drive them crazy and working out don't translate over to having guy friends. You cant even be yourself with these women, so its not strange that you wont have male friends who won't stick around for the games that women would.


Oh, I'm myself. And guys try to be my friend, but I ignore their texts. I'm just too busy. I do not ignore the texts of my work peers.
Quote:
Drop the games man and just be yourself. You've taken the tactics way too far and have lost the balance. Nothing wrong with a preference, but coming from someone who insists that being genuine is a no no, it doesnt sound like a preference. I'd prefer people I can just relax with, than a harem where I'm playing by their rules to sustain it.

So you're saying you can't relax around women?

It's hard for most guys to see, or anyone to see what they're doing until they find a way to mentally step away from themselves and see the big picture. That's when we make changes.

When I'm not focused on work and fitness, I'm reading or engaging in a top-level hobby. When I'm not doing that, I'm fucking. Sometimes a couple women at once. These sessions usually last from 11pm until 4 am. When a friend hits me up for the summer barb-q, I just don't have time.

As you get better at your career, and really start improving your fitness level and create a high-end level of abundance, the video games and the bro time starts to fade. Extremely attractive women will chase you. And you're going to want to lay with them, not high-five bros.

Take a look at these photos, and look at them within the context that we're only on this planet for a short time.

Which elk do you want to be?

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