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| Can a begginer fly solo? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=204791 |
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| Author: | Medivh [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 10:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Can a begginer fly solo? |
Hello guys. First time posting. I am a beginner in PU. I am 21, I have had a few relationships before. However I only got girls through mutual friends. I never successfully got a girl by cold-approaching in a club or on the street or in a mall. I have tried cold-approaching around 10 times in the last 3 years. I didn't know about PUAs then and in my country no such thing exists. Actually I was the only person in my group of people that did cold approaching...and since I never got very far I thought it can't work. I've seen other people do it in clubs and fail as well. Recently I discovered there are guides and books for these stuff that are not completely nonsense! I don't agree with everything any PUA says but it has helped me understand a lot. I've read The Game and Mystery method. Also watched some videos. So I decided to give it another try. But because of demanding work and university I haven't had much time to practice. I go out with friends but my social circle isn't getting any bigger. I want to be able to cold-approach. There are two problems though. 1) I can go out only twice or three times a week because of career goals I have. 2) I can't always find someone to accompany me...for example today was going to be my first effort to go out and do cold-approach. I called 10 ppl none could go out (it's exam period). So I went by myself (first time in my life doing this)...and because it's Thursday there weren't many people in the clubs...and I was ashamed to sit there by myself (the busiest place had like 15 sets of which 8 were sitting down..which is hard to approach...and only 2-3 had women..who probably were a bit older than me). With so few people I couldn't approach because I felt everyone would see if I failed and I wouldn't be able to approach other sets after that. So I just left and went back home. So, I will try to go out again maybe Saturday when I hope I will find friends to accompany me. However, if I don't I will try to go out alone again. But do you thing it's hard for a begginer to fly solo? Especially since I haven't gamed for a long time (1 year) not even through mutual friends... let alone cold-approach? Thanks for the advice guys! |
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| Author: | oceanx [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 10:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can a begginer fly solo? |
While it can be awesome to have a wing, in many instances it's a hell of a lot easier and more fun to go out and improve on your own. Don't let your brain trick you into creating excuses for a lack of action. There are women everywhere. You don't need to have a reason or a set time to meet a woman. I'm sure you go out to do things other than work or school. When you are doing these things, there are women around. Talk to the ones who pique your interest. They won't bite. Rather than thinking of it as cold approach, think of it as spreading your chill vibes and seeing what sticks. |
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| Author: | Medivh [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 11:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can a begginer fly solo? |
Quote: While it can be awesome to have a wing, in many instances it's a hell of a lot easier and more fun to go out and improve on your own.
Oh my god. I didn't expect such a quick answer. Okay thank you. Next time I see a girl I kinda like I will open no matter where I am.
Don't let your brain trick you into creating excuses for a lack of action. There are women everywhere. You don't need to have a reason or a set time to meet a woman. I'm sure you go out to do things other than work or school. When you are doing these things, there are women around. Talk to the ones who pique your interest. They won't bite. Rather than thinking of it as cold approach, think of it as spreading your chill vibes and seeing what sticks. |
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| Author: | Arch Stanton [ Thu Jun 15, 2017 1:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can a begginer fly solo? |
Quote: While it can be awesome to have a wing, in many instances it's a hell of a lot easier and more fun to go out and improve on your own.
Don't let your brain trick you into creating excuses for a lack of action. There are women everywhere. You don't need to have a reason or a set time to meet a woman. I'm sure you go out to do things other than work or school. When you are doing these things, there are women around. Talk to the ones who pique your interest. They won't bite. Rather than thinking of it as cold approach, think of it as spreading your chill vibes and seeing what sticks. This. |
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| Author: | Mr. Assertive [ Thu Jun 15, 2017 2:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can a begginer fly solo? |
Ocean summed it up pretty well. |
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| Author: | Eddie Fews [ Thu Jun 15, 2017 8:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can a begginer fly solo? |
It's not hard at all. Its actually much easier because there is a wider realm of possibilities. You don't really go on instant dates and secure same day lays when you're out approaching with friends during the day as often because you have to report back to them(at least to tell em you're leaving), those wasted moments and minutes can work against someone. The only thing going out with friends provides is a safety net for your ego. You know if you get rejected that you can get right back to your buddies and right back to having a good time. When you're out solo, you have to deal with that alone and become more self reliant. The only challenge though is the first 2-3 approaches; after that, you're good to go. I don't go out to clubs as often unless i'm working with clients, but I do make a point to approach at least one woman every single day I leave the house. More if the quality is what im looking for, but i'll even approach an average looking girl just to get my daily out the way if i don't see someone i like. As you develop your skills, you'll approach less and less. But then again, I don't go out approaching anymore either. I just approach woman as im doing my daily routine. |
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| Author: | DJ_Z [ Thu Jun 15, 2017 11:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can a begginer fly solo? |
You will learn faster alone. |
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| Author: | Medivh [ Sat Jun 17, 2017 6:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can a begginer fly solo? |
Thank you guys all of you. Yes that is why I want my buddies there...if I fail I get back to them and feel more secure. I will try to do it by myself next time I have the chance. But my buddies help me build some social proof and I got many girl friends so they will help in that regard as well. BUT OMG I GOT SOME GREAT NEWS I was out with my buddies at the beach. We were playing games there in one spot. And close by was a group of girls. We almost hit them with our ball once or twice so I go to pick up the ball and tell them "we are trying to hit you but we always miss...". They laughed. Then I continued playing. And about 10 minutes later I go there with my back turned on them and I swing my head back (not my body though...I wanna talk over the shoulder) and I tell them "Who do you think lies more, men or women?". I OPENED A 4-SET ON THE FIRST APPROACH So they started talking. I asked them if they can think I can guess stuff about them. I tried to guess what they were studying and where they were from, I did it playfully. Then my buddies came in and and assisted with the conversation. Then I did mystery's gambit 1-4 and 1-10 (nobody knows anything about PUAs there so nobody knew the gambit). Got it right on the ugliest girl...BOTH TIMES (lucky beginner)...didn't talk to the target at the start. They asked me to do it again and do more tricks. I told them I don't do more (don't want to be their puppet). But I couldn't think of a good neg so I didn't actually neg the target...just talked to all of them and to the target after a while. I used 2-3 DHV stories. I think they worked a bit. But the prettiest girl was an 8 and was also shy for some reason and she liked my friend more (who is also shy and trying to cope with it..so he goes to the gym and has become a monster...looks are important at least a bit..after all). Then there was a 7 who was my target she kinda liked me I think but didn't give me clear IOIs, just wanted to talk to me all the time and showed it a lot. And the other girls where 5 and 6. In the end I exchanged facebook account with the 5 (they don't give out phone numbers easily in my country) and invited them to a club for tonight. They told me they would go with their friends anyway and they'll be like 10 girls!!! They told me to swing by. So I said that me and my friends had already planned to go there with some friends of ours and that we would try to meet them if we could (just to play it casual). I talked to the 5 on facebook a bit just to tell the other girls to add me. They did. And I told her that we were gonna be there in a club but don't know which one and what time...so she can tell me where they'll be and we would probably swing by. THAT'S MY FIRST minor success. I don't know how it's gonna go tonight. I don't even know if they will actually tell me where they'll go eventually (but I think they will...but you never know). I just wanted to post this here and not in the field reports so everyone could see that if you are a beginner, you study the material and the body language and you take care of your looks a bit YOU CAN DO IT. (I am not beautiful or anything like that...just average guy and with work I can get better of course). That's my first story...if you have any advice on what I did wrong or what I could do tonight much appreciated. And thank you. |
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| Author: | oceanx [ Sat Jun 17, 2017 7:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can a begginer fly solo? |
Good job. With the next girls, go to a girl, look her in the eye like you've known her forever. Progress the interaction forward while teasing, flirting and being a calm chill dude. Just like women are entitled to what they want presuming a willing partner, you are also entitled to what you want presuming a willing partner. |
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| Author: | Medivh [ Sat Jun 17, 2017 9:36 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can a begginer fly solo? |
Quote: Good job. With the next girls, go to a girl, look her in the eye like you've known her forever. Progress the interaction forward while teasing, flirting and being a calm chill dude. Just like women are entitled to what they want presuming a willing partner, you are also entitled to what you want presuming a willing partner.
got confused...1) when you say next girls you mean the new ones I'll meet tonight, the one I liked or in general? 2) Okay I'll be flirty and teasing..calm..but I won't focus all my attention to the girl, right?...I'll talk to her friends or to my girl friends to create a bit of jeaslousy...and I'll do kino, right? |
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| Author: | oceanx [ Sat Jun 17, 2017 9:45 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can a begginer fly solo? |
Treat all girls you meet like you've known them forever. You're used to being around women. She senses this. Quote: Okay I'll be flirty and teasing..calm..but I won't focus all my attention to the girl, right?...I'll talk to her friends or to my girl friends to create a bit of jeaslousy
You don't need the jealousy games and stuff when you have intensity and you and her are feeling it. She gets the sense you could play those games but don't need to. In certain social circle situations these kinds of playing off of others do come into play however.Quote: ...and I'll do kino, right?
Of course. Quote: But I couldn't think of a good neg so I didn't actually neg the target..
Don't worry about this kind of thing: Things like negging the target are mostly relics of a bygone era. Just remember this: You man, she woman. Proceed that way, in a non-creeper way. |
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| Author: | Medivh [ Sat Jun 17, 2017 10:16 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can a begginer fly solo? |
Thanks a lot oceanx. Your answers are really on point I like it. Okay I'll post here or in the reports section next. Have a nice day and you helped me a lot! |
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| Author: | Medivh [ Sun Jun 18, 2017 9:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can a begginer fly solo? |
Last post here. This adventure ended. Okay guys here's what happened. We got at a club me and my buddies and 2 girl friends of ours. We hang there and have fun and I text the girls that we will be there and they can swing by. They did! 10 girls out of nowhere came straight to our arms. It was an awesome moment. Anyway. I started chatting up as many as I could (although I was a bit drunk...mistake there...couldn't think and forgot what I was thinking all the damm time). So I didn't like anyone except that one 8 we had met and another new 8. I talked to the new 8 but she seemed a bit uninterested. I tried to game her but didn't go as well, didn't feel a good vibe so I went for the other 8 that I kinda liked. My friends didn't mind, they let me. So, I played the 5-lie game with her...we laughed we danced. So after a while I told her why don't we go sit alone for a while. Tried to kino there...should arm hold...I didn't...just touched her and she just let me..didn't reply. I sat down, stayed back and asked her "Okay, there are a lot beautiful girls here and you are a beautiful girl but what makes you different?" Then to help her I asked 3 magic question by style/strauss and tried to build comfort. We talked for a while alone (solid 10-15 minutes and I did some kino there..but again no reply..she just let me touch her). Went back dancing for a bit and I said to her (maybe this was lame) that I wanted to see something in the starts and show it to her and it's awesome but we couldn't see it from inside the club. Then I told her we could go outside. She said okay we can go in a while. But after that she disengaged from me and talked less or not at all for 10-15 minutes. I tried to establish contact again, tell a story. I was interrupted and she didn't care to hear the rest. Then 5 minutes later I told her I found her very interesting and wanted to see what else makes her special...so she agreed to sit down with me a bit more a few steps away from our group. Then we talked about long-distance relationships and stuff and disagreed that they won't work (she was from a town 3 hours away just visiting...I was trying to convince her that you can have a relationship with that distance...she wouldn't cave). At the meantime one of my buddies was kissing a 6 we met! He was way better looking (the man is at least 7,5-8) but he went for it. We laughed it was so awesome! Then the 8 I was talking to just left and I was there sitting by myself. Never came back went outside the club...and then...I realised one of my buddies was out of the club for a long time before her as well. Turns out they hooked up outside (she went straight to him and told him to go for a walk!!!..). So my buddy got the girl I tried to game..and he talked to her way way way less. Danced the same and he had way more superficial chatting...and a bit of teasing maybe. But he did it. LOL Anyway, then my friend asked for permission via messages and I gave it to him and also gave him the keys a bit later to my house because I live alone and he lives with his parents...and he nailed her! I stayed elsewhere (knew some ppl). My bud told me that the 8 told him that the girls had from the previous day chosen who they wanted and where allowed to do stuff with...and a 5 and 7 had chosen me, the 8 had chosen him and the 6 my other bad. So, that was the outcome. I can't say I feel awesome about it. We all had a great time though. I opened a 4-set while my friends couldn't (they thanked me a million times after tonight hahaha). But I didn't get the targets I wanted. I think my drawbacks were: 1)I used to much canned material (maybe because of lack of gaming the past year...I wanted to rely on something..but maybe it was more robotic that I thought). 2) I got drunk early on. 3) ...and I don't know what else...unlucky and put too much effort...wasn't as chill as I should Anyway that's my story. Next stories I'll post in field reports...thanks for any comments guys. I'll try to recover from the loss (I don't feel too awful..just a bit..you know..disappointed) and I'll be back with more. Thanks guys. |
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| Author: | DJ_Z [ Sun Jun 18, 2017 10:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can a begginer fly solo? |
Go out alone |
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| Author: | oceanx [ Mon Jun 19, 2017 3:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can a begginer fly solo? |
You're a good dude to give your buddy the keys to your place so he could shag. The pendulum will swing your way soon, I'm sure of it. |
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