PUA Forum :: Turning a F*close into a relationship (can't post elsewhere)

Your little problem is just because you're nervous and that's probably it. Some guys have trouble just getting it up the first time, so you're ahead of them. Relax, get more comfortable with yourself (you don't sound very comfortable, because you threw in 2 whole paragraphs of qualifiers to let us know that you are doing everything right and it's not you, but you still don't believe that yourself, or you wouldn't have said it).

As for the girl being a "silly cooze", you're being stupid. You play the field and think it's ok, but she plays the field and now she's a tramp? Talk about double standards.

Get over it and realise that if you want her to be exclusive with you, first you need to have enough attraction, which you sound like you do. Then you need to have enough comfort and that isn't something I can judge, you have to do that based upon how she acts around you. If you have enough attraction and comfort, then you can ask her if she's seeing other guys and then you can talk about being exclusive.

It isn't something you dodge around and need clever lines for, you just ask once you have enough going on between you. If you do it before you have enough of the two needed things, then you come off as needy and you'll probably mess it up, or at least take more time to rebuild the attraction and comfort.

Just because you are ready for a relationship, doesn't mean that's what she's looking for, so you find out by asking questions about her life and where she's at, where she came from and where she plans on going in the future. If you aren't able to get her to open up and tell you stuff like what she wants for herself at this point in her life, then you aren't gonna get a relationship going with her.

Author:	johnjones [ Wed Apr 09, 2008 6:40 pm ]
Post subject:	*Turning a Fclose into a relationship (can't post elsewhere)**
I am currently looking for a girlfriend/ I am tired of random fucking. Alright, baisicly it went down like this. Thursday Night: So thursday night I decied to play 2v2 scrabble with this girl and her roomate and my friend. After the game, one of the girls and I decieded that we are not tired so we go to our lounge and play 1v1 scrabble. After the game, we play another game however we stop as we are bored, go back to my room and talk/watch the sunrise lol . I find out that she is acutally a really cool person and I think I like her alot. So instead of doing what I would normally do (k close into something else), I end the all nighter. Then after we go take showers, we decided to go get food. Day ends and I have not seen her until sunday night. Overthe weekend: I get her to agree to another 2v2 game on monday night. I also thank her for the wonderful time on thursday night. I also get her to go on a psuedodate on thursday. Yadayadayada Its sunday. Sunday Night: I come back from the weekend, and text her. We then play another 1v1 game of scrabble. This is the night I randomly just started Kino becuase well why the fuck not, it seemed appropriate. I could have K closed that night, and I wanted to, however If I want this girl to be agirlfriend I don't want it to start off of sex. So instead of going for anything, we stay up to 4 am talking again. She gets to know me more and I get to know her more. Monday Night - Tuesday Morning: We go play 2v2 scrabble, in which my friend and I won with a BINGO for the last word using all our tiles and ending the game, Flanges FTW. So after this, again we are not tired. We paly another 1v1 game in which she actually wins for a change. After the game, we talk for a little and I can tell that she wanted me to do something, but I didn't. So then she wants to watch a movie, so I say I have fight club which she has never seen. Apparently though I left it at home instead we get my friends external harddrive hoping the movie would be on there. Her roomate is not there for the night so we go to her room and find that fight club is not on there either. However, we then decided to watch The Eye (non foriegn) because I told her how scary the original is and she says she hasnt seen a scary movie in a while. While watching the movie she randomly grabs my arm cause shit jumps out and shes creeped out, I am also working more kino cause I figure It will eventaully be needed and I might as well get it out of the way. This turns into us holding hands/ arm around her. After the movie (5 am ish). We just talk some more. However she does that stupid thing girls do when they want you to kiss them, you know the close the eyes and wait when they are laying right next to you. So eventually im just like fuck it, w/e she will get a kiss. However apparently I can't control my self and kiss turns into sex. Mistake. I didn't want to have sex with her yet, however sex is awesome and she was ready, willing and able. lolol. So after this, (7 am) we fall asleep holding each other. During this time we believe her roomate came in then left. Im still not sure. I wake up at 10 and tell her I have to get to class. So I leave, and go back thourgh the lounge where her roomate was sitting and so were 3 other girls on her floor, talk about walk of shame/walk of fucking "Yeah, that was me, too bad it wasn't you" lol. Anyway. All that happens. Tuesday Afternoon: We have lunch at the Cafe. Then take a walk to the grociery store to pick up flour for our psuedodate on thursday. (we are going wheatpasting if any of you know what that is). _______________ SO here is the problem. Everything sounds like it is out of a story book however, Over the course of a week I have learned a few things about this girl which I am not sure are completely true. Apparently she is playing like 2-3 guys right now (one is her ex boyfriend) which, frankly doesnt matter becuase I am better then them all at everything that has to do with women. But it opens questions up to me. I don't want to make a silly cooze my girlfriend. So I am skeptical, then I am skeptical that she even wants a relationship (however over the week of getting to know her it sounded like she did). So heres my questions: 1) How can I find out how many guys she is playing by asking her. 2) How do I find out if she wants a relationship? a) I was considering just asking her tomorrow night straight up and bluntly. Be like : Hey are you looking for a relationship or just casual sex? 3) If I decide I want her, and she is playing other guys, how can I make her only mine. I guess this has to do with trust? Not sure? Yeah well any help would be appreciated. Also, I asked her if she wanted to join me for lunch today and she said she had a class at 2. So I texted back well maybe I will see you later, and she replied "Yep Maybe" (kinda cold if you ask me), So I will not be seeing her tonight unless she calls me. So right now, I put the ball in her court with hanging out. EDIT: I also have another small problem/ not really a problem. When ever I have sex with a girl for the first time, I don't cum and intstead I just go on for as long as she can take it. Which is good and bad. However when I have sex with a girl for the first time It is usually amazing for her (with the case of this girl too... although I didn't ask her if it was amazing, I am assuming... it should be, I don't do anything wrong and I can read how a girl wants her sex) (actually I can read them really really well, however most girls just want to be fucked like an animal, neck grabbing, nibbling then go into soft and gentle things such as kissing all over/ running fingers around her and making her get goosebumps) EDIT #2: I always try and give a girl goosebumps before I have sex. It just makes me feel better lolololol

Author:	Rye Lee [ Wed Apr 09, 2008 7:02 pm ]
Post subject:
Your little problem is just because you're nervous and that's probably it. Some guys have trouble just getting it up the first time, so you're ahead of them. Relax, get more comfortable with yourself (you don't sound very comfortable, because you threw in 2 whole paragraphs of qualifiers to let us know that you are doing everything right and it's not you, but you still don't believe that yourself, or you wouldn't have said it). As for the girl being a "silly cooze", you're being stupid. You play the field and think it's ok, but she plays the field and now she's a tramp? Talk about double standards. Get over it and realise that if you want her to be exclusive with you, first you need to have enough attraction, which you sound like you do. Then you need to have enough comfort and that isn't something I can judge, you have to do that based upon how she acts around you. If you have enough attraction and comfort, then you can ask her if she's seeing other guys and then you can talk about being exclusive. It isn't something you dodge around and need clever lines for, you just ask once you have enough going on between you. If you do it before you have enough of the two needed things, then you come off as needy and you'll probably mess it up, or at least take more time to rebuild the attraction and comfort. Just because you are ready for a relationship, doesn't mean that's what she's looking for, so you find out by asking questions about her life and where she's at, where she came from and where she plans on going in the future. If you aren't able to get her to open up and tell you stuff like what she wants for herself at this point in her life, then you aren't gonna get a relationship going with her.

Author:	johnjones [ Wed Apr 09, 2008 8:08 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Your little problem is just because you're nervous and that's probably it. Some guys have trouble just getting it up the first time, so you're ahead of them. Relax, get more comfortable with yourself (you don't sound very comfortable, because you threw in 2 whole paragraphs of qualifiers to let us know that you are doing everything right and it's not you, but you still don't believe that yourself, or you wouldn't have said it). As for the girl being a "silly cooze", you're being stupid. You play the field and think it's ok, but she plays the field and now she's a tramp? Talk about double standards. Get over it and realise that if you want her to be exclusive with you, first you need to have enough attraction, which you sound like you do. Then you need to have enough comfort and that isn't something I can judge, you have to do that based upon how she acts around you. If you have enough attraction and comfort, then you can ask her if she's seeing other guys and then you can talk about being exclusive. It isn't something you dodge around and need clever lines for, you just ask once you have enough going on between you. If you do it before you have enough of the two needed things, then you come off as needy and you'll probably mess it up, or at least take more time to rebuild the attraction and comfort. Just because you are ready for a relationship, doesn't mean that's what she's looking for, so you find out by asking questions about her life and where she's at, where she came from and where she plans on going in the future. If you aren't able to get her to open up and tell you stuff like what she wants for herself at this point in her life, then you aren't gonna get a relationship going with her. Yeah, youre right for the most part except that I don't really play the field. Im a 1 guy 1 girl person. But anyway I do need to get more comfortable with myself. Also, you are right about the last paragraph, and that is exactly what I have been doing. Update: She invited me to hang out with her friends and I have a feeling one of them is one of the guys shes getting with so it is going to be interesting. The way I see it, if he is there, I have to kill him with kindness (ie only be nice and cool and find out about him) so he can not say anything about me lol. But yeah Thanks rye it helped a lot.

Author:	sL!CK [ Wed Apr 09, 2008 8:35 pm ]
Post subject:
Interesting read, and I wish I could help you man. I know that you're trying to stop fucking around and settle with a girl but it's hard to turn a, hm, girl like that into a houswife. I don't see why you'd want to. My advice is move on and keep looking. She can't be that great now.

Author:	johnjones [ Wed Apr 09, 2008 9:43 pm ]
Post subject:
Yeah, thats what a friend of mine told me. I guess I believe in hope too much but she is actually a really cool/smart/funny/pretty girl after I got to know her. I have a feeling if I just stay around enough it will eventually happen. There are acutally other girls I was seeing/kinda interested in however this one is so much better. But like they say find one girl and then you will find 1000 more who are better.

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Author:	Rye Lee [ Wed Apr 09, 2008 9:59 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Interesting read, and I wish I could help you man. I know that you're trying to stop fucking around and settle with a girl but it's hard to turn a, hm, girl like that into a houswife. I don't see why you'd want to. My advice is move on and keep looking. She can't be that great now. I can't tell that from what he's said and I doubt he can tell that from his limited contact with her so far. I know professional porn stars that with fuck/suck between 8-20 guys in one session that have amazingly solid marriages and are incredibly faithful and dutiful wives within the boundries they have set for the relationship. Just because she has been seeing 3 different guys doesn't mean she isn't worth marrying, or at least going out with to see if she's woth marrying. Dating is basically like an on going interview for marriage as some people see it and when an employer is looking to hire someone for a position, they don't just interview one person and go, "Well, you're qualified for the position, so you get it." They have multiple applicants and then choose the one that best suites what they are looking for, or don't hire any at all and keep looking for the right one. You can't fault someone for having multiple partners at once, unless that is something you said wouldn't occur. If you can't deal with that idea, then you reduce your dating pool by probably 50% with all the girls that already have a bf, yet haven't committed to making the relationship permanent and exclusive yet. Personally, I recommend you do the same. Just cause you get one girl, doesn't mean she's the best. Date multiple girls and don't move past where you feel comfortable with as long as you are doing that. Then when you find one that you want to be exclusive with, you can make it official then.

Author:	johnjones [ Thu Apr 10, 2008 12:40 am ]
Post subject:
Yeah I do that, however I only hook up with one at a time. I should prob change that but heh, its been working fine.

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