PUA Forum :: not sure where to go with this

There are indications that I'm being friend zoned. But I think the woman I'm dating is not sure on what basis she wants to know me yet.... She is conservative socially and I'm more relaxed.... She's successful(Harvard, Great job, small business on the side), I'm recovering from past setbacks.

She responds to all my messages and sometimes initiates...I flirt with her a lot; sometimes sexual...However I try to keep the sexual flirting light... She got offended at me once saying she didn't like when people talk about sex that aren't her significant other(she's self-described as "catholic lite"... this is after she laughed at something I said but I continued on the same element...

She has asked me multiple times when are we going to hang out again...

Besides banging this chick, I'm interested in her on a relationship level... And I kind of indirectly hinted at that(regretting it)...

I'm concerned I'm coming off as too nice or am giving her too much attention... so when she asked me when are we hanging out again(a couple times)... i responded with sometime soon

she asked me to contact her while she was abroad via SPAM. I responded with something like "is it necessary; it's only two weeks...

I'm concerned I'm chatting with her too much via text once every two-three days....

Author:	felipe89 [ Tue Jan 24, 2017 2:25 am ]
Post subject:	not sure where to go with this
There are indications that I'm being friend zoned. But I think the woman I'm dating is not sure on what basis she wants to know me yet.. She is conservative socially and I'm more relaxed.... she gives me mixed signals... I asked her why she added me on fb in a joking manner(I don't add girls that I date/bang; just friends... she said "you're funny but I think you'd make a nice friend"... when she returned to the country she announced in a message that she had returned to which I responded with Ok... she got annoyed and said ok!!??? Why are you being so monosyllabic??? She responds to all my message...I flirt with her a lot; sometimes sexual...However I try to keep the sexual flirting light... She got offended at me [once] saying she didn't like it when people talk about sex that aren't her significant other(she's self-described as "catholic lite"... this is after she laughed at something I said but I continued on the same element...(I understand women say things just because they want to test guys or because they don't wan't to be perceived as easy) She has asked me multiple times when are we going to hang out again...

Author:	felipe89 [ Tue Jan 24, 2017 2:28 am ]
Post subject:	Re: friend zone but not quite
she said without me bringing up the subject she likes to start as friends. I take that as she likes to go super slow. she also knows I like her and I'm trying to contact her less because I don't want her getting too spoiled by the attention

Author:	crevus [ Tue Jan 24, 2017 9:47 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: not sure where to go with this
Doesn't really matter what a woman says. It's all acting anyway. She's acting the "catholic lite" pretending to be conservative, non sexual etc. Act based on how a woman acts. That being said call her over or set up a date for drinks at a nearby pub. Escalate and you will find out exactly how you stand with her. If she rejects you, then you know she isn't interested and move on. If not, then go all the way and don't pussy out just because a woman says something. I literally had girls telling me they don't drink then ordering a drink, they won't come over and then auto-inviting themselves at my place, telling me they won't have sex and then jumping me. When a woman says something, agree wholeheartedly and continue escalating in a bold but respectful way (no force kissing, grabbing her or any shit).

Author:	felipe89 [ Tue Jan 24, 2017 10:47 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: not sure where to go with this
she has invited me out for drinks on a friday... are second date didn't go to well due to inclement weather, settings etc she also stated her preference of getting coffee... And she kind interrogated me on personal subjects( a lot of personal/superficial questions).... she also mentioned a few of her past dates (I don't care) My plan was to take her to a private art dealer and see if she could get me birthday present (flirting)

Author:	FaithfulRaider [ Tue Jan 24, 2017 10:59 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: not sure where to go with this
Quote: There are indications that I'm being friend zoned. But I think the woman I'm dating is not sure on what basis she wants to know me yet.... She is conservative socially and I'm more relaxed.... She's successful(Harvard, Great job, small business on the side), I'm recovering from past setbacks. She responds to all my messages and sometimes initiates...I flirt with her a lot; sometimes sexual...However I try to keep the sexual flirting light... She got offended at me once saying she didn't like when people talk about sex that aren't her significant other(she's self-described as "catholic lite"... this is after she laughed at something I said but I continued on the same element... She has asked me multiple times when are we going to hang out again... Woah woah woah... What are you doing? You sound so beta here, is that what you're going for? It's super obvious she's into you but you're putting yourself in the friend zone! She's successful, you're recovering. You got sexual, she "got offended", you backed down. (FYI this was a likely a shit test and you failed it). She's having to ask you when you're hanging out again. You've not only put her in the driver seat, you're trying to get yourself kicked out of the car. Successful, intelligent women are often in control. That's how they live their life. They often want to be in charge of everything.... Except when it comes to dating/sex/relationships!! They want a man to step up and be in control of this. They don't want to have to plan dates, carry conversation, make sure you have fun... They have enough day to day stuff to think about. This is where they want to let go of the reigns and let someone show them a good time. Now they don't want a jerk, but they want assertiveness. They want to be surprised with stuff you've planned. Fun dates where you've planned everything and they are in the dark... They eat that up! Remember, girls in general but especially successful smart women... They want you to be their Disneyland! You are their amusement park. They want to show up have fun and ride the rides! Oh, and about the getting sexual... Trust me she wants that but as you said she's that respected women in public. She's gotta trust you aren't gonna ruin that respect. But behind closed doors... She will let that freak flag fly if she trusts you to keep it on the down low. You've got to treat her as "a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed". Be confident and assertive. Let her FB friends be jealous of the fun surprise stuff you planned for her. Up your value. Be a gentleman, but be sexual at the same time. Reward her good responses publically. After a steamy night together, send her flowers to her office anonymously... She'll know who but her co-workers won't... Chicks dig that mystery! Anyway this is all if you really want this woman. If it's just a hit it and quit it, she's probably not gonna go for it with how things have gone. But either way don't wait... Escalate!

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Author:	felipe89 [ Tue Jan 24, 2017 11:06 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: not sure where to go with this
Besides banging this chick, I'm interested in her on a relationship level... And I kind of indirectly hinted at that(regretting it)... I'm concerned I'm coming off as too nice or am giving her too much attention... so when she asked me when are we hanging out again(a couple times)... i responded with sometime soon -I know some of the lines to show "disinterest" or "qualify" work well in america or the UK but I think for Iberian cultures it has to be done slightly different she asked me to contact her while she was abroad via SPAM. I responded with something like "is it necessary; it's only two weeks... she then said" well you could message me to wish me a happy new year or see how i'm doing" she then gave me her email and added me on facebook I'm concerned I'm chatting with her too much via text once every two-three days.... I'm thinking about inviting her out for the weekend but thought about waiting until next week...I thought about phrasing it like this "let's meet saturday evening... won't be available until the 10th due to travel)

Author:	FaithfulRaider [ Tue Jan 24, 2017 11:35 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: not sure where to go with this
You aren't coming off as too nice. You're coming off as boring and not into her. I guarantee she will not tolerate this for long. Your response to her "when are we hanging out again" "sometime soon" is bad. Terrible. What do you think she thought about that response? No assertiveness, no creativity, no interest in her. Wow, c'mon man... Do you think that is what she's looking for? It's like you're putting in zero effort with her. My response to her question would have been flirty and mysterious. Then tell her about this great date you've planned for Saturday night and you're picking her up at 6:00. Plan something you would have fun doing and that she would probably enjoy too. NOT A MOVIE! My go-to fun date is an adult style arcade (ie Dave and Buster's) challenge her to stuff like whoever gets the least amount of tickets has to do something silly or stupid or plan the next date (if it's that one try real hard then lose so you control the next date). Make her laugh, have fun, show your competitive side, have some drinks... Remind her to post FB pictures of her laughing and having fun! It's super easy to Kino in this situation as well since it's fun and no stress and social. Make sure to escalate appropriately. Drinks / dessert back at your/her place. Then escalate. Doesn't have to be sex but has to be a kiss and maybe making out/2nd base. Unless things went amazing and you know 100% she's Dtf I'd leave her wanting more. Tell her you've got an early morning, you had a great time blah blah... Leave with her wondering when she's gonna have another great date with you, and trust me she's gonna know what that'll mean in terms of you getting what you want. Text her the next day or a quick call, that you were thinking of her and that's it. Back to flirty texts the next few days, plan another fun mystery date... I think you know where to go from there.

Author:	felipe89 [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:02 am ]
Post subject:	Re: not sure where to go with this
you know, she could , mean hey when are we hanging out as friends(when are you going to give me more attention)

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:09 am ]
Post subject:	Re: not sure where to go with this
Quote: Besides banging this chick, I'm interested in her on a relationship level... And I kind of indirectly hinted at that(regretting it)... Yeah that's a mistake. Get that relationship shit out of your head right now, with all new hot women. They will bite off your head and spit you out if you come at them with that mentality. I do the same thing to desperate women with an agenda. Quote: I'm concerned I'm coming off as too nice or am giving her too much attention... so when she asked me when are we hanging out again(a couple times)... i responded with sometime soon That's a good move, lol. Ball is in your court. Quote: she asked me to contact her while she was abroad via SPAM. I responded with something like "is it necessary; it's only two weeks... hahahaha. Quote: I'm concerned I'm chatting with her too much via text once every two-three days.... Nah. That's a good pattern, as long as it's just a few texts. Ask her over to your place for drinks and a movie. She's down, IMHO. You've framed yourself as the prize through slight indifference and patience, unlike 90% of men, and now she's chasing. Let her chase you to your bed.

Author:	felipe89 [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:34 am ]
Post subject:	Re: not sure where to go with this
she use to initiate the conversations... now I do.... it makes things difficult because she's not as flirtatious as I am.... so it's no tit-for-tat with the flirting I'm also dealing with personal matters and am busy; I know other guys are interested in her but I really think rushing things shows desperation and ametuer game... Also women love a connection where it seems like the progression is more natural rather than forced [She isn't the 20something sexxy bitch type.... she's the stunning younger looking late 30's something woman out of marriage TYpe]

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:39 am ]
Post subject:	Re: not sure where to go with this
Why are you trying to flirt over text? Texting is for arranging a meet up. Ask her over to your place. If she says no, game other women.

Author:	felipe89 [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:42 am ]
Post subject:	questioning her interest level.mixed signals. need game plan
I don't think she is willing to come directly to my place, unless I do a dinner (I cook) or she's drunk.... and while my place is in best location of a international city, the apartment sucks my roommate/friend, generally says when a woman turns him down to sleep with him he responds with "ok, I'll invite someone else" and it works. However he has social media presence,and reputation to back up such game while she flirts with me, she's very conservative... And I question whether direct sexual game will work with her...(I don't think she's alpha when it comes to socializing [while I'm pretty creative w my game, in the past, a MAJOR sticking point has been text messages(too many or lost in translation)... I feel like I've established rapport and attraction with her... So why give her all the power in the communication or the dating dynamics...why do I need to compete on the level of other guys I've even thought of messaging her: Hey I'm glad we are friends....you seem better as a friend than someone (I'm passionate with/I bang/I Date ) Do I need to demonstrate more value before I pull away??... or does that come across as insecure and ametuer?..(I don't use FB as much).. How often should I contact her 1-2times a week?... and how do you play hard game with higher value/classy women?

Author:	felipe89 [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 4:53 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: not sure where to go with this
also the advice to send her flowers to her work after i've slept with her once....Reallllly? lol

Author:	DJ_Z [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 5:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: not sure where to go with this
You lied and told her she is a better friend? Dude walk away.

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Author:	felipe89 [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 5:51 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: not sure where to go with this
no I'm considering saying that..Didn't actually say it... However I think a better plan is invite her out and after showing my charming side after a girl comes up to me in a club, tell her she'd look really sexy if she weared that... I could also invite another friend who is a girl out at the same time but that's more drama then it's worth and quite possibly cruel There's also a chinese new years parade this weekend in my city but it won't have the same effect of creating detachment and value She likes to party, so I don't think she's actual "good-girl" just not super promiscuous....