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How to stop the monotone conversation?
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Author:  artagan9090 [ Wed Jun 29, 2016 2:54 pm ]
Post subject:  How to stop the monotone conversation?
Hello! Every time I talk with a girl I am booring. I always seem to go trough the same topics. If i talk trough text I can hold a conversation for about 20 minutes and face to face for about 5. I ask her what does she like to do in her free time and make a few remarks about what she says, tell about what i like to do... and that is it. After that I go blank.
Can you suggest me some things i should do to improve my conversation skills?
Author:  R.C [ Wed Jun 29, 2016 3:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to stop the monotone conversation?
www.google.com
Author:  Bran [ Wed Jun 29, 2016 3:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to stop the monotone conversation?
One of the most important skills, as I've noticed, is simply listening.

Every decent sentence is riddled with a variety of potential tangent topics, if longevity of conversation is your goal.

My next advice is to let it be natural. No normal human, in a normal conversation, will ever be in their head, thinking, "Wowee! She just said 'blah blah'! Maybe I should say 'Blahdiddy blah' next! No, that's way too risky! What if she doesn't like me? Shit. Awkward silence."

From which, the dreaded "lovely weather we're having" is inevitable.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Jun 29, 2016 4:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to stop the monotone conversation?
Women love to talk about themselves. If you ask the right questions, you’ll hardly have to say shit.

Just ask her what she's passionate about, it will start flowing like water.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Wed Jun 29, 2016 5:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to stop the monotone conversation?
Quote:
Women love to talk about themselves. If you ask the right questions, you’ll hardly have to say shit.

Just ask her what she's passionate about, it will start flowing like water.
Pretty much. And just hold eye contact and just nod here and there. So funny how they just chatter away into your arms.
Author:  bartm [ Thu Jun 30, 2016 3:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to stop the monotone conversation?
a lot of people here are against kezia noble but i think her book is amazing at teaching conversation skills. if you dont like reading, then watch some of her youtube videos.
example: instead of asking "do you like your job?" like every other jackass, she suggests asking "what 2 characteristics do you need to have to be amazing at your job?"
Author:  artagan9090 [ Thu Jun 30, 2016 3:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to stop the monotone conversation?
Thans for the advice but it seems I can't get girls to talk to me . If i just nod and say something from time to time they stop talking all together. I would like to get women to talk nonstop to me but they don't. I listen and ask questions but they just answer back and there goes another conversation topic. For example i was texting this girl on fb to get to know her... we talked like 10 minutes and stopped. I tryed asking more deep questions ...she mention tha she likes sports and that she runs and does voley and I asked what she likes the most about sports and she said that "I don't know"...Then we talk a little bit more and she says something along the lines of "you don't talk much... are you shy?" I answer instinctivly yes and asked her what would she like to talk about and she answered "I don't know... about what you want". Then i stopped talking to her> another problem i am having is that almost always when i try to make conversation a little deep I always get the impression that what i say. And to most of my "deep" questions they seem to answer "I don't know". How can i connect with them if they don't know?
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Jun 30, 2016 4:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to stop the monotone conversation?
So? This post is about a specific girl?
Author:  artagan9090 [ Thu Jun 30, 2016 4:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to stop the monotone conversation?
Quote:
So? This post is about a specific girl?
No. I was just giving an example to ilustrate my situation better because I don't think the advice I got will work for me.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Thu Jun 30, 2016 5:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to stop the monotone conversation?
Quote:
Quote:
So? This post is about a specific girl?
No. I was just giving an example to ilustrate my situation better because I don't think the advice I got will work for me.

Try talking to them about things that interest the other person. It could be anyone, not just girls. If I start talking to someone and they are mention a few topics, say my buddy John talks about his job at a high end restaurant, pharmacy school, where he wants to live, sports. I just pick one of those topics and he goes on and on about pharmacy and drugs for a solid 20 minutes until I am reminding him I don't know all the technical terms and can he explain them, and he keeps going for another 10 minutes.


Same with chicks. Just show an interest. Girls will be yapping and yapping
Author:  neo87 [ Thu Jun 30, 2016 5:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to stop the monotone conversation?
What do you look like?
Author:  n2thevoid [ Thu Jun 30, 2016 6:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to stop the monotone conversation?
Quote:
What do you look like?
Image
Author:  artagan9090 [ Thu Jun 30, 2016 8:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to stop the monotone conversation?
I think the problem is that the girls I talk to are around 17 years old and they don't seem to be able to talk much on a topic. I also just had a realisation with what my problem might be: I was aproaching conversation without trying to prove my worth to them or make them like me. For some reason when i try to gain points in front of somebody I always am more invested in conversation and do more jokes or try to get what is going in the other person head and say it out loud. It was a minor aproach mistake. I sometimes have moments when I am amaizing at conversation but I can't control how good I am in a certain moment. But i am starting to see some patterns and I hope to figure this thing out. Thanks for the help everyone!

I am slightly above average looking.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Thu Jun 30, 2016 8:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to stop the monotone conversation?
Quote:
I was aproaching conversation without trying to prove my worth to them or make them like me. For some reason when i try to gain points in front of somebody I always am more invested in conversation and do more jokes or try to get what is going in the other person head and say it out loud.



K. Let us know how that works out for you.
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Thu Jun 30, 2016 9:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to stop the monotone conversation?
You lead the conversation by asking questions and maybe doing 30% of the talking. Like others said, just listen.

But most important of all, if the girl isn't attracted to you, don't wast your time. Look for strong IOI and then worry about what to ask.
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