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Defensive game is not good game
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Author:  JackZero [ Thu Feb 11, 2016 7:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Defensive game is not good game
I’m noticing that a lot of guys here, experienced and inexperienced, operate out of the position of fear. They are afraid of how they appear, failing shit tests, or think that women of certain attractiveness will not be attracted to guys that give a compliment or do nice things. This causes them to approach women with their guards up.

A guy that operates from a defensive position may have the ability to attract women, but will not be good with women or be able to sustain any type of relationship that will last. The reason for this is because he is allowing the woman to be the person who is in the offensive position and giving up portions of his masculinity to her. She dictates how things are going to be, what she wants over what he wants, and not be appreciative of what a man has to offer.

Does this mean that you should pepper her with compliments? Does this mean that you should do her favors? The answer is: If you want to. At the same time you have to convey that any compliment or favor doesn’t imply weakness. She has to understand that you aren’t doing either of those things to make her like you. The benefit of being able to do this will cause her to come back for more.

A guy that is good with women knows how to be genuine. A guy that is good with women is confident in himself. A guy that is good with women knows that there is another woman that will appreciate what he has to offer if this one doesn’t. A guy that is good with women doesn’t have to be defensive with women.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Feb 11, 2016 8:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Defensive game is not good game
Quote:
She has to understand that you aren’t doing either of those things to make her like you.
You must convey it is because you DO like her.

This does not need to be spoken.

Good point Jack
Author:  oceanx [ Thu Feb 11, 2016 9:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Defensive game is not good game
Quote:
She dictates how things are going to be, what she wants over what he wants, and not be appreciative of what a man has to offer.
And meanwhile will constantly be on the lookout for a "real" man who will give her what she actually wants.
Quote:
A guy that is good with women knows how to be genuine. A guy that is good with women is confident in himself. A guy that is good with women knows that there is another woman that will appreciate what he has to offer if this one doesn’t.
Good point. As you alluded to, a guy like the one described in this quote is inherently operating within the abundance paradigm.

To the guys you refer to in the post, i would tell them that there are no rules to this shit. Be genuine, value yourself, and know that you offer value. The woman is there to offer value to you and to receive the value that you offer to her.

Drop the games.

Drop the bullshit.

Enter into a beautiful experience of relating with the woman. She will sense that you are aware of the truth that she can be replaced (just as you can be replaced by her with some other guy) which will enhance her attraction to you most likely.

This "you can be replaced" mindset is not coming from a cynical place - it is simply about placing the value on yourself that you deserve. As in, let's enjoy this, I am offering my value to you, if you don't appreciate it I'm certainly not going to stick around and try to figure out how to "game" you.

Women can absolutely feel it when you come with the genuine energy referred to in the original posting above.
Author:  neo87 [ Fri Feb 12, 2016 1:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Defensive game is not good game
Good post.

To piggy back on oceans point:
Quote:
To the guys you refer to in the post, i would tell them that there are no rules to this shit. Be genuine, value yourself, and know that you offer value. The woman is there to offer value to you and to receive the value that you offer to her.
I think most guys mistake what abundance is. Abundance is not having 10 chicks crazy for you because of some cold persona you put on while inside you're walking the tight rope to keep them. Its being secure in yourself, and your emotions to the point that you dont need to fake anything to keep her. You dont care that much, because you realize that if she doesnt like you, it means nothing bad about you. As ocean said, she's replacable; you dont need to change to make her like you.
Author:  R.C [ Fri Feb 12, 2016 7:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Defensive game is not good game
I agree. It all comes down to authenticity.

If you ever do something because it "will make her like you", yeah.. no.
Author:  lolpants [ Fri Feb 12, 2016 5:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Defensive game is not good game
great post and great follow up comments !
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