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Did I really make her feel uncomfortable?
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Author:  jacob palmer [ Wed Feb 10, 2016 5:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Did I really make her feel uncomfortable?
So this girl sat opposite me at college in the study space and I commented on a book she was reading and we got chating. We both asked eachother questions about eachtoher and it seemed like a fairly chilled out encounter for about 10-15 minutes.

I had to go somewhere but I asked her for her number saying we should hang out.
She gave me her number without hesitation.

I gave a text after a couple of hours asking her out for coffee on the campus.

She replied back saying she felt a little awkward saying no to me as I was slightly insistent and she felt a little uncomfortable.
And that she was chatting to me on a friendly level.

Ok its fair enough she is not attracted to me BUT I am struggling to find out how I was insistent or how I made her feel uncomfortable?
She was not very attractive, she was around a 7. I just wanted to improve my game.

Any ideas what I did wrong in the interaction with her?
Author:  JackZero [ Wed Feb 10, 2016 5:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did I really make her feel uncomfortable?
Maybe. Maybe not. If you don't normally make women feel uncomfortable, it's probably just her.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Feb 10, 2016 5:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did I really make her feel uncomfortable?
All girls are different. What may seem aggressive to some may not to others. For every woman who doesn’t like you, there’s another right around the corner who will.

Just reply; 'Thanks for the pointers, I owe you an ice cream, good luck.'
Author:  jacob palmer [ Wed Feb 10, 2016 6:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did I really make her feel uncomfortable?
This is why I hate gaming a girl under hb 8, they are so socially retarded
Author:  jacob palmer [ Wed Feb 10, 2016 6:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did I really make her feel uncomfortable?
Quote:
All girls are different. What may seem aggressive to some may not to others. For every woman who doesn’t like you, there’s another right around the corner who will.

Just reply; 'Thanks for the pointers, I owe you an ice cream, good luck.'
I ask out most girls in this way and it is received well. probably just her
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Feb 10, 2016 6:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did I really make her feel uncomfortable?
Quote:
This is why I hate gaming a girl under 8, they are so socially retarded
Yeah, they are still Brownies, they don't become schoolgirls til they are 12.
Author:  jacob palmer [ Wed Feb 10, 2016 6:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did I really make her feel uncomfortable?
Quote:
Quote:
This is why I hate gaming a girl under hb 8, they are so socially retarded
Yeah, they are still Brownies, they don't become schoolgirls til they are 12.
loool i meant hb 8
Author:  thephenom [ Thu Feb 11, 2016 12:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Did I really make her feel uncomfortable?
Maybe the way you were being "insistent" just didn't come off right to her and she thought it was too much. Or you could have just asked too soon. Next time try building more comfort before you ask her out somewhere. Also, when you ask her out make it seem like it's somewhere your already going and that she can come along, rather than have the whole thing revolve around her.

At the end of the day, whatever she's a 7. It's worth the learning experience.
Author:  J.Daniels [ Thu Feb 11, 2016 3:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Did I really make her feel uncomfortable?
Quote:
This is why I hate gaming a girl under hb 8, they are so socially retarded
>says hb
>assumes attractive people are somehow smarter
>has the nerve to call others socially retarded

lol
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Thu Feb 11, 2016 4:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Did I really make her feel uncomfortable?
Quote:
So this girl sat opposite me at college in the study space and I commented on a book she was reading and we got chating. We both asked eachother questions about eachtoher and it seemed like a fairly chilled out encounter for about 10-15 minutes.
Too long.

Go for the number earlier. It's very hard to seem interesting for 15 minutes when sober unless you're a celebrity or very attractive. The conversation probably got boring/non-sexual.
Author:  JackZero [ Thu Feb 11, 2016 4:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Did I really make her feel uncomfortable?
Quote:
Too long.

Go for the number earlier. It's very hard to seem interesting for 15 minutes when sober unless you're a celebrity or very attractive. The conversation probably got boring/non-sexual.
This seems more like a problem if you're just not interesting. The importance of a first encounter is intensity and the longer the intensity the least likeliness of a flake.

In truth, a first encounter, getting a phone number in 15 to 20 minutes is fine as long as its ended on a high note.
Author:  Cross De Lena [ Fri Feb 12, 2016 10:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did I really make her feel uncomfortable?
Quote:
This seems more like a problem if you're just not interesting.

Interesting, or escalating if the surroundings approve that. I tend to believe from expirence girls like to be thrown off balance, so if she stumbles upon a guy who's confident, funny, and escalates (or shows his sexual side, displaying being comfortable about his and her sexuality) when they first meet she wont stop thinking about him that easily.


OP probably showed too much of a friendly, non-threatening vibe. Causal. Ordinary.


Side note: It all boils down to honesty and not trying to avoid awkward situations, instead, you have to embrace them to show you can be in control when things go south. Confidence; It's not about what she thinks about you, it's what she thinks you think about yourself thats relevant.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Fri Feb 12, 2016 11:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did I really make her feel uncomfortable?
Quote:
Maybe. Maybe not. If you don't normally make women feel uncomfortable, it's probably just her.
Also important to add, as Mark Manson points-out, you want to polarize a woman early so you don't waste your time.

If she wants to get to know you she'd be keen on having coffee with you, if she's neutral it may take a bit of coaxing, but if she's not interested at all she'll polarize to the disinterested side of the spectrum and may even push you away by saying your'e too insistent or whatever.

That said, you shouldn't be "insistent" anyway, if your intentions are honest a woman will most often sense that and if she's game she'll make it easier for you to meet up. Probably be important to define "insistent": to some guys your version of "insistent" may look passive, or aggressive even.
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