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| Anxiety before sex https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=194974 |
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| Author: | stundent2 [ Fri Feb 05, 2016 8:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | Anxiety before sex |
I've had opportunity to get laid 3 times.. All of which I couldn't get hard. One time I managed to get semi erection, fucked but didn't cum. Yesterday went on a date. Whenever intimacy was getting more intense I was getting erections, I even had to hide it, it happened several times during the date. We went to my house, it started happening really fast. I was fingering her and she was about to cum, but I noticed I'm not turned on (she wasn't that attractive though, but why was I turned on during date?). I really started to think why am I not hard, and that was the only thing I was thinking about. That's the thing what happened in all 3 situations I have had. I try conciously to turn my self on, force myself to think sexy thoughts, but my dick feels dead. It's like absolutely nothing can turn me on. After she came she was blowing me and jerked me, but I didn't care, I just wanted to watch the movie. After that I tried to jerk myself while she was lying next to me, but nothing was happening. After jerking for 10minutes it started to feel really good but still wasn't hard and I ended up cumming. Luckily she didn't see that and I went to the bathroom to clean myself. Anyone else have had problem like this? I think this is anxiety, because normally I masturbate almost every day without any problems. TL;DR When I know where the situation is heading, I start to worry that I will not be able to get it up. I check my dick every minute to see if it's working, but it's not. How can I overcome these thoughts? I know that I should relax, but I tried as much as I could, but I couldn't stop thinking about getting erection. |
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| Author: | R.C [ Fri Feb 05, 2016 8:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Anxiety before sex |
Stop watching porn and jerking off 3 times a day. |
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| Author: | stundent2 [ Fri Feb 05, 2016 8:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Anxiety before sex |
Quote: Stop watching porn and jerking off 3 times a day.
I watch porn 2-3 times a week, and usually jerk off once a day. But I'll stop if I have to. However, won't that make me cum too fast if I don't jerk off at all?
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| Author: | R.C [ Fri Feb 05, 2016 8:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Anxiety before sex |
Depends how regularly you have sex. So unless you have it once every two months you'll be fine. |
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| Author: | JSmooth [ Fri Feb 05, 2016 4:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Anxiety before sex |
Porn can really alter your mind to what you think is going to happen during sex. Masturbating too much can definitely hurt that issue. I would seriously consider not watching porn or masturbating for a few weeks to a month and see how that affects you. Helps a lot of people to just do that. If you know you have an outlet with that to have your release then it can alter how you perform with the real thing. Look a lot of times as guys we put too much pressure on ourselves. If you are above the age of 35 then maybe a check of the old Testosterone is in order but if you are younger than that you should be fine. You are capable of obviously getting an erection so that's good. <-- Why do I feel like an infomercial. The more you think about it and "force turn it on think sexy thoughts" kind of stuff the more difficult it is going to be. Maybe more foreplay would be helpful as well. You got turned on during the date so something she said or did registered with you. There is a lot of pressure mentally to perform. I think wanting porn and stuff probably can add to that as a person. You think you need to be naturally going for 30 minutes or whatever the length of the film. Keep in mind those people there are multiple takes, they use viagra and stuff a lot. Overall just stay healthy. Drink water, do some basic exercise, and stay away from yourself - then you should be fine the next time. Try not to think sexy thoughts during or anything like that. Try to clear your head and just be in the moment with her. |
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| Author: | CharlesFinley [ Fri Feb 05, 2016 5:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Anxiety before sex |
I agree with everything these guys have said, and JSmooth has really laid it out nicely for you here... If you're getting erections during the day and on dates, then there's nothing wrong with your wiring... It's working - but something is mentally screwing you up when it comes time to actually be turned on. I'd bet it's porn - but hell, it could also be booze, pot, meds, stress.... Start eliminating culprits until you find the right one... And RELAX and have fun. Stop thinking so much. Guys get thinking about how they don't have a rod, then that's all they can think about... Embarassment and wondering why it isn't working instead of just trying to enjoy themselves and have fun. Try thinking about nothing and something may happen. |
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| Author: | Cross De Lena [ Sat Feb 06, 2016 6:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Anxiety before sex |
You're just used to seeing sex, not feeling it. Porn creates these expectations of how should sex look like and work. It really messes with your brain, I had that problem too. Google "your brain on porn", stop seeing that stuff, cut mastrubating that often and start pulling more girls into your bed. I don't know how old are you, but (hypothetically speaking) being on porn constantly for 10+ years and then suddenly having a real girl in your bed just doesn't cut for your dick because you were used to visual medium. Not your touch, smell, and other senses that usually turn you on. Stop these bad habits. After a while, you'll feel this huge amount of energy. Don't give in and jerk off. To compensate, start exercising regularly, start eating more healthy, read guides and start being in the moment next time you'll fuck the girl. Don't overthink. Overthinking just makes you more anxious, thus creating the problem that's only mental. |
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| Author: | Koppal [ Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Anxiety before sex |
I can relate to this a lot, i've had a few times where i'm crazy horny before the date, during the date, etc, then when it comes down to it your dick dies and numbs out and you can't feel shit I had this with this girl, I busted in like 3 mins (maybe I was too horny before hand..) then I couldn't get it up again for like 20 mins despite her trying to do EVERYTHING to resurrect my floppy cock, then the pressure came in, I was conjuring up the filthiest most despicable thoughts in my head to try and get into it, but that in it self doesn't work, because you're not relaxed, you're just stressing yourself more So we 'gave up' and I had given up too, and had to listen to her whine about how she wanted it and was gutted (that felt AWESOME... ¬_¬) and then like 5 mins later when my mind was off the idea of sex, I slowly started playing around with her, and it got rock solid, and we got a good bang out of it, and it wasn't the 5 mins that made the difference, it was the mind set, cos i'd 'given up' my mind could finally relax and take the pressure of getting wood away, then when I tried again I felt rejuvenated, mentally. Trying to ferociously wank and think of filth tends to not work. And just to put your mind at ease, I never had wood when fingering/licking, dunno if thats weird/common, but it just doesn't turn me on much, so just take your time, relax, breath, dont stress that you're not hard, just focus on her, and if it does happen that you numb out, just take a breather, maybe go back to her, then try again, don't put so much focus and pressure on it ...or try viagra ? I've done that a couple times for fun, but don't rely on it, i often use it if i've been drinking |
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| Author: | J.Daniels [ Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Anxiety before sex |
Happened to me a few years back. I got some viagra at first to deal with it and it worked. I then thought I'd end up relying on it so I stopped. Sometimes I still go soft. Actually, it happened about 2 weeks back. Went to change positions and by the time we were sorted I'd gone soft. I tried to hold it at the base and just force it in but it didn't work much. I told her to suck it, she did, I fucked the living shit out of her. Lol. It's only a big deal if you make it one. I agree with the porn comments but I watch it so I'm in no position to give strict advice on it. But basically just be cool with it going soft. Don't be all "OMG SORRY IT'S ME NOT YOU" ...just tell her to suck it, tell her that'll be sexy and it'll get hard. She'll do it, you'll fuck her. |
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| Author: | Jay (Majik) [ Mon Feb 08, 2016 7:24 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Anxiety before sex |
I wrote an article on my blog about why you should quit watching porn. This is one of them. Check it out. (Search for it on my website. They don't like when people post links on here.) |
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