PUA Forum :: Where Men outnumber Girls.

If you go to a gay club and get hit on by what 9/10 times are slobbering idiots, would you not be standoff-ish?

Also why in the world would you chose a venue where guys outnumber girls? What's the purpose?

You must be new at this.

Just plain approaching with "Hello, my name is..." wont get you pretty far away, girls know you have some kind of expectations and to them it seems forced and puts them in awkward position.

What kind of places do you visit?

If you walked up and said "hello, my name is Cross" and put your hand out for her to shake it, the reciprocity rule says that she would feel obliged to give you her hand and introduce herself.

I'm not discussing human nature, you are right here and this exactly is my point. She will feel obliged, and I just don't like to put them in a situation where they feel like they own me anything this early. Plus, you can't know for sure in which tone and manners OP introduces himself to women. If not done right, that's just awkward.

the hello my name is pretty lame

Quote:

the hello my name is pretty lame

Maybe you do come across as awkward like as Cross stated. I did it last night while grabbing dinner and had no problem getting a number out of it.

could you give me any advice on how you did it? I'm assuming it was situational? I think I am awkward honestly, need to find a way to break out of it lol. engineering school really screwed up my social life.

Quote:

I sure can...
I was in line at a mom and pop Mexican food restaurant and there was a Latina girl sitting down at a table. We caught eyes I smiled, she smiled back, and I continued to wait. Once I made my order, I sat down to wait for my food...we locked eyes again. I got up walked over, extended my hand to her and said, "Hi, my name is Jack". She shook my hand and told me hers. I asked her if the food was good there (which I already knew since it's one of my favorite spots) and she said it was her first time. I asked if she lived nearby and she told me the apartment complex she lived in. I said how one of my friends used to live in it. She started going on about how she's ready to move to someplace better, telling me about her loud neighbor above her, and how far she has to drive to work. Just a lot of small talk. When her order was ready, I asked for her number and told her I enjoyed talking to her and we should meet up and hang out one night. She gave me her number and left. When I walked outside with my food, she was still outside. I joked with her saying, "are you waiting out here to follow me home?" She started laughing and saying that she wasn't. I told her if she wanted to she could follow me and she laughed some more. She said that was free to meet on Thursday night and I said that I'd see if I could swing that. Told her today that we'll figure out something to do on Thursday.

nice. it sounds like she was already pretty into you. Would you have done the same if she didnt give you eye contact and you were really attracted to her?

Author:	blackinak [ Tue Feb 02, 2016 7:18 am ]
Post subject:	Where Men outnumber Girls.
How would you go about approaching women in locations where the girls are really outnumbered and it almost seems as though every woman that is in decent shape is taken? If she is above an 8/10 then guaranteed she is taken lol. I've tried the hello my name is but women quickly get uncomfortable and act standoffish. If you want to talk to nearly obese woman then its the smoothest interaction out there lol. You can introduce yourself but she wont ever talk to you again even if you two are in the same class. These are the types of things i've noticed that are common in regions where men outnumber women. They CAN be stuck up unless you have more to offer or have a higher social status is what i'm assuming for the good looking ones at least. What are your guys' thoughts on this kind of situation?

Author:	R.C [ Tue Feb 02, 2016 7:39 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Where Men outnumber Girls.
If you go to a gay club and get hit on by what 9/10 times are slobbering idiots, would you not be standoff-ish? Also why in the world would you chose a venue where guys outnumber girls? What's the purpose?

Author:	blackinak [ Tue Feb 02, 2016 8:09 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where Men outnumber Girls.
Quote: If you go to a gay club and get hit on by what 9/10 times are slobbering idiots, would you not be standoff-ish? Also why in the world would you chose a venue where guys outnumber girls? What's the purpose? I see what you mean but i live here in alaska and and the statistics show that men outnumber women the most compared to any other state in the US I believe. With that It seems as though many of them come off really standoff ish or tougher to get even with a simple approach they will try to find the exit lol.

Author:	Cross De Lena [ Tue Feb 02, 2016 8:28 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where Men outnumber Girls.
You must be new at this. Just plain approaching with "Hello, my name is..." wont get you pretty far away, girls know you have some kind of expectations and to them it seems forced and puts them in awkward position. What kind of places do you visit?

Author:	JackZero [ Tue Feb 02, 2016 9:11 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where Men outnumber Girls.
Quote: You must be new at this. Just plain approaching with "Hello, my name is..." wont get you pretty far away, girls know you have some kind of expectations and to them it seems forced and puts them in awkward position. What kind of places do you visit? Really? It's a really good opener if you use it correctly because it forces the concept of reciprocation. If you walked up and said "hello, my name is Cross" and put your hand out for her to shake it, the reciprocity rule says that she would feel obliged to give you her hand and introduce herself. Human Nature > Social Awareness Capitalizing on human nature will get your foot in the door and you won't be hampered by recovering from an opener that she may take as negative or something that she has heard before.

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Author:	Cross De Lena [ Tue Feb 02, 2016 11:22 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where Men outnumber Girls.
Quote: If you walked up and said "hello, my name is Cross" and put your hand out for her to shake it, the reciprocity rule says that she would feel obliged to give you her hand and introduce herself. I'm not discussing human nature, you are right here and this exactly is my point. She will feel obliged, and I just don't like to put them in a situation where they feel like they own me anything this early. Plus, you can't know for sure in which tone and manners OP introduces himself to women. If not done right, that's just awkward. Needless to say, this is also very situational, common sense should be applied anyway.

Author:	JackZero [ Tue Feb 02, 2016 11:50 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where Men outnumber Girls.
Quote: I'm not discussing human nature, you are right here and this exactly is my point. She will feel obliged, and I just don't like to put them in a situation where they feel like they own me anything this early. Plus, you can't know for sure in which tone and manners OP introduces himself to women. If not done right, that's just awkward. Why not? You're starting compliance right from the moment you meet. A simple handshake breaks down defensiveness. Saying her name builds familiarity. I don't understand what you mean by tone and manner OP introduces himself to women. Any opener that you don't do right can be awkward. How long do you usually wait before you put them in a situation to owe you something?

Author:	blackinak [ Wed Feb 03, 2016 12:41 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Where Men outnumber Girls.
Quote: You must be new at this. Just plain approaching with "Hello, my name is..." wont get you pretty far away, girls know you have some kind of expectations and to them it seems forced and puts them in awkward position. What kind of places do you visit? I do alot of hot yoga and women there dont usually like talking to men. They are much more open to females there. I need to fix my approach though, the hello my name is pretty lame, how would you go about approaching a women you've never talked to before? Situational is the best thing I can think of but it doesn't lead to anything as the woman will cut the conversation short most times and walk away lol. I'm also in engineering school and its been super lame as far as social activity goes. Mostly guys and very few chicks worth approaching. Thank god I graduate this semester so I can put myself out there more. Sick of being around men all day lol.

Author:	JackZero [ Wed Feb 03, 2016 12:58 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Where Men outnumber Girls.
Quote: the hello my name is pretty lame Maybe you do come across as awkward like as Cross stated. I did it last night while grabbing dinner and had no problem getting a number out of it.

Author:	J.Daniels [ Wed Feb 03, 2016 1:12 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Where Men outnumber Girls.
I agree with Jack. PS: NLP and negs.

Author:	blackinak [ Wed Feb 03, 2016 1:33 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Where Men outnumber Girls.
Quote: Quote: the hello my name is pretty lame Maybe you do come across as awkward like as Cross stated. I did it last night while grabbing dinner and had no problem getting a number out of it. could you give me any advice on how you did it? I'm assuming it was situational? I think I am awkward honestly, need to find a way to break out of it lol. engineering school really screwed up my social life.

Author:	JackZero [ Wed Feb 03, 2016 2:51 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Where Men outnumber Girls.
Quote: could you give me any advice on how you did it? I'm assuming it was situational? I think I am awkward honestly, need to find a way to break out of it lol. engineering school really screwed up my social life. I sure can... I was in line at a mom and pop Mexican food restaurant and there was a Latina girl sitting down at a table. We caught eyes I smiled, she smiled back, and I continued to wait. Once I made my order, I sat down to wait for my food...we locked eyes again. I got up walked over, extended my hand to her and said, "Hi, my name is Jack". She shook my hand and told me hers. I asked her if the food was good there (which I already knew since it's one of my favorite spots) and she said it was her first time. I asked if she lived nearby and she told me the apartment complex she lived in. I said how one of my friends used to live in it. She started going on about how she's ready to move to someplace better, telling me about her loud neighbor above her, and how far she has to drive to work. Just a lot of small talk. When her order was ready, I asked for her number and told her I enjoyed talking to her and we should meet up and hang out one night. She gave me her number and left. When I walked outside with my food, she was still outside. I joked with her saying, "are you waiting out here to follow me home?" She started laughing and saying that she wasn't. I told her if she wanted to she could follow me and she laughed some more. She said that was free to meet on Thursday night and I said that I'd see if I could swing that. Told her today that we'll figure out something to do on Thursday.

Author:	R.C [ Wed Feb 03, 2016 7:04 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Where Men outnumber Girls.
That opener is fine.

Author:	blackinak [ Wed Feb 03, 2016 9:53 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Where Men outnumber Girls.
Quote: Quote: could you give me any advice on how you did it? I'm assuming it was situational? I think I am awkward honestly, need to find a way to break out of it lol. engineering school really screwed up my social life. I sure can... I was in line at a mom and pop Mexican food restaurant and there was a Latina girl sitting down at a table. We caught eyes I smiled, she smiled back, and I continued to wait. Once I made my order, I sat down to wait for my food...we locked eyes again. I got up walked over, extended my hand to her and said, "Hi, my name is Jack". She shook my hand and told me hers. I asked her if the food was good there (which I already knew since it's one of my favorite spots) and she said it was her first time. I asked if she lived nearby and she told me the apartment complex she lived in. I said how one of my friends used to live in it. She started going on about how she's ready to move to someplace better, telling me about her loud neighbor above her, and how far she has to drive to work. Just a lot of small talk. When her order was ready, I asked for her number and told her I enjoyed talking to her and we should meet up and hang out one night. She gave me her number and left. When I walked outside with my food, she was still outside. I joked with her saying, "are you waiting out here to follow me home?" She started laughing and saying that she wasn't. I told her if she wanted to she could follow me and she laughed some more. She said that was free to meet on Thursday night and I said that I'd see if I could swing that. Told her today that we'll figure out something to do on Thursday. nice. it sounds like she was already pretty into you. Would you have done the same if she didnt give you eye contact and you were really attracted to her?

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Author:	JackZero [ Wed Feb 03, 2016 10:09 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Where Men outnumber Girls.
Quote: nice. it sounds like she was already pretty into you. Would you have done the same if she didnt give you eye contact and you were really attracted to her? People constantly make eye contact. It's training yourself to give signals to women so they return them to you. Our eyes met, so I smiled. Because of that it caused her to smile back. I think PUA calls this forcing an IOI, but it's a signal telling someone that you're friendly.