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huge ioi's she has a bf, wondering your thoughts
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Author:  peiper [ Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:24 am ]
Post subject:  huge ioi's she has a bf, wondering your thoughts
Whats up guys, been a while since i've been around, wondering if any of you have any thoughts on my situation.

There is a girl i've known for around 5 years now, was always friends with her and she would hook me up with other girls, i was in a relationship with her bestfriend for two of those years. I never pursued her because my best mate was basically in love with her even though he never really made it happen with her/always generated excuses for why things werent working etc.

Anyway, the intimate friendship we all used to share has since dissipated, but i saw her the other night and she was way into me, like in love with me into me/ready to leave her boyfriend for me into me. And there inlies my problem, if you want to call it that. I think its really just some made up moral bs i've constructed for myself but i'm wondering what you would all do/how you would make the next interaction happen.

I was thinking about texting her to see if she just wants to get together, but it is completely obvious what will happen when we do, and she has a boyfriend who i'm fairly cool with though dont mind fucking his gf, so i guess her boyfriend is only a problem from her perspective and from the perspective that i'm actively coming onto her despite my knowing she has a boyfriend.

so with all that, how would you guys proceed/disable the whole "i actually have a bf thing"/make it seem like it was all a "plausible" accident that we wound up sleeping together. To go further, idt her having a bf would stop her from having sex with me at all, but we havent hooked up yet so there isnt really an investment into the situation on her past making it obvious shes ready for us to go further.

lmk your thoughts thanks
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Thu Jan 07, 2016 9:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: huge ioi's she has a bf, wondering your thoughts
Don't even mention the boyfriend. The connection should be strong enough to where that's irrelevant and sex commences.

But, a connection to steal her away completely? Different matter.
Author:  R.C [ Thu Jan 07, 2016 9:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: huge ioi's she has a bf, wondering your thoughts
Her bf is a problem from your perspective, otherwise you wouldn't have written up a topic about it.

What I don't understand is why are you deliberately trying to complicate your life so close to home? You've known her 5 years, she has a bf that you're "cool with", whatever that means. Why bother?
Author:  peiper [ Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: huge ioi's she has a bf, wondering your thoughts
Quote:
Her bf is a problem from your perspective, otherwise you wouldn't have written up a topic about it.

What I don't understand is why are you deliberately trying to complicate your life so close to home? You've known her 5 years, she has a bf that you're "cool with", whatever that means. Why bother?
First part: ehh how? morally no. but dynamically yeah, thats what the whole post is about.

Second part: Because i think its worth bothering lol. I was hoping for a bit more trust in judgement on the whole thing, so i only laid out what was relevant to this particular aspect of the situation. Me dating her/whatever wouldnt really complicate things. No one would care besides her bf, but as i said they are on the way out anyway.

Honestly, i dont even think they are "officially" together, its just some grey area of dating where there is some implied blur of monogamy while she figures out something better to do.

Anyway, if you have any tips on moving forward i would really appreciate them, if not thanks anyway.
Author:  R.C [ Fri Jan 08, 2016 9:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: huge ioi's she has a bf, wondering your thoughts
I'm just trying to understand the process. Seems a pain in the ass compared to just meeting someone new. There's a lot of history going on and generally speaking being friends with someone for 5 years and then turning it sexual.. it just won't work unless there's always been tension between the two of you.

Anyway, her boyfriend is irrelevant. Until he's not. Meaning, you'll never be able to come between a happy couple. If on the other hand, she's open to finding someone else, the bf doesn't matter.

Point in case being, you don't have to act any differently. The seduction process is the same. You flirt, you tease, you talk, you ask her out. And simply answer "I'm aware", if she mentions a bf.

By the way I'm not touching on morality here. I always encourage guys to go for what they want, and exactly for the reason I stated above I see absolutely no problem in going after a "taken" girl. Relationship does not equal happiness.
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