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Need advice to make this girl mine.
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Author:  nikbro [ Tue Jan 05, 2016 7:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Need advice to make this girl mine.

Hello,

So about 3 months ago, i met this girl at a bar her and I hit of great! We have been seeing each other and spending a lot of time together . We sleep over almost all the time at both our places. We do a lot of fun things together. I've talked to her about getting into a relationship, but she told me she was not ready to commit. She was in a 4 year relationship with this guy and they broke up about 7 months ago. RI've grown an attachment with her, and I clearly want her to lock her down..

Recently Something happened were i kinda got suspicious, because her ex started texting her. HE knows about me,and now he is in the way. She apparently ran into him in a few bars with her friends since they are mutual, and she never told me about it. While i would tell her every time my ex contacted me. She said its not that important, and that she didn't want me to worry about anything. HE has been texting her non stop, and she clearly sees that it is bothering me. I finally was fed up with it, and looked at her and asked what she wants She tells me again she is not ready to commit. I told her how i feel about her and basically told her my feelings.I just have no idea what to do. Should i slowly drop this and loosen back, or should i keep trying. I don't want to fully She did say she wants to keep things how they were, and see where it goes.

What do you guys think?

Author:  JackZero [ Tue Jan 05, 2016 7:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice to make this girl mine.

She has you already. She doesn't need to move forward because she knows that she won't lose you.

Look at it this way. She was in a four year relationship and she's not going to be over it within 7 months and dealing with one guy. She either needs time or more men in her life to be over her ex. You rushing her into a relationship is just going to drive her away.

Author:  nikbro [ Tue Jan 05, 2016 7:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice to make this girl mine.

Quote:
She has you already. She doesn't need to move forward because she knows that she won't lose you.

Look at it this way. She was in a four year relationship and she's not going to be over it within 7 months and dealing with one guy. She either needs time or more men in her life to be over her ex. You rushing her into a relationship is just going to drive her away.
Then should I continue doing what we have been doing or give her some space?

Author:  JackZero [ Tue Jan 05, 2016 7:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice to make this girl mine.

IMO, keep doing what you're doing but put other women in the mix. Don't flaunt other women, but don't try to hide it when she starts asking. And don't bring up a relationship again...let her do it.

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Tue Jan 05, 2016 8:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice to make this girl mine.

Quote:
Need advice to make this girl mine.
Chain her to a pipe in the basement, and tell her parents she ran away.

WTF? You can't OWN her. You can only be awesome enough she wouldn't ever want to leave.

Author:  neo87 [ Tue Jan 05, 2016 8:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice to make this girl mine.

She's been texting her ex? Who broke up with who?

Author:  nikbro [ Tue Jan 05, 2016 8:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice to make this girl mine.

Quote:
She's been texting her ex? Who broke up with who?
She broke up with him cause he cheated

Author:  JackZero [ Tue Jan 05, 2016 8:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice to make this girl mine.

Quote:
Quote:
She's been texting her ex? Who broke up with who?
She broke up with him cause he cheated
I always hate listening to women (lots of men as well) when it comes to who broke up with who and why. There always seems to be a victim's mentality.

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Tue Jan 05, 2016 9:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice to make this girl mine.

Quote:
I always hate listening to women (lots of men as well) when it comes to who broke up with who and why. There always seems to be a victim's mentality.
That is because it is 100% never ever, their fault.

I always say things like "Wow. I bet that hurt." It's just easier.

Author:  nikbro [ Thu Jan 07, 2016 4:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice to make this girl mine.

Last thing, would it be smart for me to talk to her about where we stand? Because when I did talk to her we both were drunk and that was when we got into an argument. Now I'm wondering if I should bring up what we talked about that night (sober) or just let it go, and go with the flow?

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Jan 07, 2016 5:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice to make this girl mine.

Quote:
go with the flow

Author:  J.Daniels [ Thu Jan 07, 2016 5:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice to make this girl mine.

Quote:
Hello,

So about 3 months ago, i met this girl at a bar her and I hit of great! We have been seeing each other and spending a lot of time together . We sleep over almost all the time at both our places. We do a lot of fun things together.
Good. Providing you're not initiating more than about 1/3 of this stuff, then it's great,
Quote:
I've talked to her about getting into a relationship, but she told me she was not ready to commit.
Themore you talk about the future with women, the more you reduce your chance of being a part of it. Women are like cats, men are like dogs. If a woman shows a man a little affection, he's happy to spend all his time with her, get excited when he sees her, run up to her going crazy etc. All you have to do is tap your leg and a dog is yours immediately. If you tap your leg at a cat, they look at you like "What are you doing? Are you a dick? You look like a dick. You dick." lol. You just have to let cats warm up to you and come to you at their own pace. If you pick a cat up and try to force it on your lap, it'll jump right off and need to warm up to you all over again.
Quote:
I've grown an attachment with her, and I clearly want her to lock her down..
The need for anything, gets in the way of everything. Slow the fuck down before you blow it, ok?

Quote:
Recently Something happened were i kinda got suspicious, because her ex started texting her. HE knows about me,and now he is in the way. She apparently ran into him in a few bars with her friends since they are mutual, and she never told me about it.
Who knows what else she isn't telling you? the more you get insecure about this guy, the more you'll push her towards him. I promise you that.

Quote:
HE has been texting her non stop, and she clearly sees that it is bothering me. I finally was fed up with it, and looked at her and asked what she wants She tells me again she is not ready to commit. I told her how i feel about her and basically told her my feelings.I just have no idea what to do. Should i slowly drop this and loosen back, or should i keep trying. I don't want to fully She did say she wants to keep things how they were, and see where it goes.
If she can see it's bothering you, she should put an end to it as soon as you've mentioned it. I don't understand why they're fucking texting anyway? Stop chasing after a relationship, though. Seriously let the woman ALWAYS be the first to bring that up, ok? I don't care how long it's taking her. If she hasn't brought it up, you're not in a relationship and you're not exclusive.

Author:  J.Daniels [ Thu Jan 07, 2016 5:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice to make this girl mine.

Quote:
IMO, keep doing what you're doing but put other women in the mix. Don't flaunt other women, but don't try to hide it when she starts asking. And don't bring up a relationship again...let her do it.
Didn't read this before I posted or I'd have just quoted it instead. Well said.

Author:  nikbro [ Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice to make this girl mine.

I really appreciate the feedback. I just don't have anyone to talk to about this situation. So it's a little difficult. I'm a relationship type of guy, and for the most part I know how to handle these situations.. For some reason this one is just giving me a hard time. I just have to let this one go with the flow, and really at this point I'm just going to focus on my self get my head straight, and pretend nothing ever happened and that nothing will bother me ever again.

Author:  nikbro [ Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need advice to make this girl mine.

Quote:
Quote:
Hello,

So about 3 months ago, i met this girl at a bar her and I hit of great! We have been seeing each other and spending a lot of time together . We sleep over almost all the time at both our places. We do a lot of fun things together.
Good. Providing you're not initiating more than about 1/3 of this stuff, then it's great,
Quote:
I've talked to her about getting into a relationship, but she told me she was not ready to commit.
Themore you talk about the future with women, the more you reduce your chance of being a part of it. Women are like cats, men are like dogs. If a woman shows a man a little affection, he's happy to spend all his time with her, get excited when he sees her, run up to her going crazy etc. All you have to do is tap your leg and a dog is yours immediately. If you tap your leg at a cat, they look at you like "What are you doing? Are you a dick? You look like a dick. You dick." lol. You just have to let cats warm up to you and come to you at their own pace. If you pick a cat up and try to force it on your lap, it'll jump right off and need to warm up to you all over again.
Quote:
I've grown an attachment with her, and I clearly want her to lock her down..
The need for anything, gets in the way of everything. Slow the fuck down before you blow it, ok?

Quote:
Recently Something happened were i kinda got suspicious, because her ex started texting her. HE knows about me,and now he is in the way. She apparently ran into him in a few bars with her friends since they are mutual, and she never told me about it.
Who knows what else she isn't telling you? the more you get insecure about this guy, the more you'll push her towards him. I promise you that.

Quote:
HE has been texting her non stop, and she clearly sees that it is bothering me. I finally was fed up with it, and looked at her and asked what she wants She tells me again she is not ready to commit. I told her how i feel about her and basically told her my feelings.I just have no idea what to do. Should i slowly drop this and loosen back, or should i keep trying. I don't want to fully She did say she wants to keep things how they were, and see where it goes.
If she can see it's bothering you, she should put an end to it as soon as you've mentioned it. I don't understand why they're fucking texting anyway? Stop chasing after a relationship, though. Seriously let the woman ALWAYS be the first to bring that up, ok? I don't care how long it's taking her. If she hasn't brought it up, you're not in a relationship and you're not exclusive.
Thank you again! Great detailed break down

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