PUA Forum :: Told girl I was seeing other people

Bro..

All you have to do is pull her out of it at that point. Not allowing yourself to be manipulated by emotions that she will get over in a few hours so long as you're unaffected. Just go back to being cool; there was no establishment of exclusivity so you don't have to coddle emotions that aren't warranted. Once you do that, you validate her emotions and she feels as if she has the right to feel that way. You can easily bring girls out of things like this by hugging them and a little verbal validation.

Also, next time, never ever preface your truth with saying something like " truthfully" or " I'll be honest" or anything of the sort. Its wimpy. Just come out and say it. " Yeah" the responses you receive will be a lot different.

Just chill, she'll come around, and if she tries to further manipulate you(she will eventually) by basking in the same emotion she did when you told her' in being exclusive just address the subject bluntly. Your single and until that changes you were well within your right to do as you did.

Author:	t-1000 [ Tue Dec 08, 2015 11:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Told girl I was seeing other people
I've been casually seeing a girl for about a month or two. I've been seeing other girls too (all casual) but this one I like and think I have a connection with. This fun to hang out with, down to earth and the sex is awesome. The subject of sleeping with other people came up and she said she's not and I said truthfully yeah sometimes. She got really quiet and I knew it bothered her. I pressed her a little and she said she wished she didn't ask and the rest of the night was uncomfortable. I'm wondering what now to say to her. Do I apologize, ask her to be exclusive? Ignore it? I don't want to come across as needy. I think I would like to be exclusive with her because she's really sweet but I always thought if it's something she would want she would ask me.. I'm wondering also if I made the wrong call with what I said, or maybe the delivery of it. At the very least at least I'm proud of myself for being honest but it may have costed me this relationship and now maybe she thinks I'm an asshole. Any advice?

Author:	WillEdward [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 3:23 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Told girl I was seeing other people
Do you want to be exclusive with her out of choice or necessity ?

Author:	neo87 [ Wed Dec 09, 2015 3:41 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Told girl I was seeing other people
Why did you continue to see other girls?

Author:	n2thevoid [ Thu Dec 10, 2015 2:35 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Told girl I was seeing other people
Quote: Why did you continue to see other girls? This^ You two aren't on the same page...she's catching feelings and wants more of an invest. What is it you want from her? If it's just something casual that won't work. If you want more she's wanting to see some sort of a commitment from you - at least more than you being open to banging other girls.

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Thu Dec 10, 2015 5:00 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Told girl I was seeing other people
Bro.. All you have to do is pull her out of it at that point. Not allowing yourself to be manipulated by emotions that she will get over in a few hours so long as you're unaffected. Just go back to being cool; there was no establishment of exclusivity so you don't have to coddle emotions that aren't warranted. Once you do that, you validate her emotions and she feels as if she has the right to feel that way. You can easily bring girls out of things like this by hugging them and a little verbal validation. Also, next time, never ever preface your truth with saying something like " truthfully" or " I'll be honest" or anything of the sort. Its wimpy. Just come out and say it. " Yeah" the responses you receive will be a lot different. Just chill, she'll come around, and if she tries to further manipulate you(she will eventually) by basking in the same emotion she did when you told her' in being exclusive just address the subject bluntly. Your single and until that changes you were well within your right to do as you did.

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Author:	n2thevoid [ Thu Dec 10, 2015 5:29 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Told girl I was seeing other people
Quote: Bro.. All you have to do is pull her out of it at that point. Not allowing yourself to be manipulated by emotions that she will get over in a few hours so long as you're unaffected. Just go back to being cool; there was no establishment of exclusivity so you don't have to coddle emotions that aren't warranted. Once you do that, you validate her emotions and she feels as if she has the right to feel that way. You can easily bring girls out of things like this by hugging them and a little verbal validation. Also, next time, never ever preface your truth with saying something like " truthfully" or " I'll be honest" or anything of the sort. Its wimpy. Just come out and say it. " Yeah" the responses you receive will be a lot different. Just chill, she'll come around, and if she tries to further manipulate you(she will eventually) by basking in the same emotion she did when you told her' in being exclusive just address the subject bluntly. Your single and until that changes you were well within your right to do as you did. I agree with Fews on subjugating women to meet your own ends. I mean after all whomever's manipulation is the strongest is the bedrock to the foundation of any healthy relationship... I know with my girl whenever she's feeling insecure I just pet her on the head, tell her everything will be ok and sometimes get her an ice cream cone or take her for a nice drive and all is forgiven. I mean its like magic because women love being infantilized, it appeals to the little girl in them so its #Winning all the way and #playa4life bro! This is all Bioscience dawg, what aren't you getting?! I mean when will you realize that women are just super irrational creatures and their emotions aren't to be taken seriously? **For the intellectually challenged of this board I'm not being serious. Listening to Eddie Few's advice is pretty much the equivalent of the blind leading the blind.

Author:	R.C [ Thu Dec 10, 2015 6:24 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Told girl I was seeing other people
Quote: I think I would like to be exclusive with her because she's really sweet but I always thought if it's something she would want she would ask me.. She just did. Your delivery was probably off. It's a sensitive subject. Of-course she'd had preferred it if you only had eyes for her. There's really nothing to apologize for, but my question is, if you're seeing her for two months already why keep sleeping with other girls? I'm asking that because you're apparently contemplating exclusivity with her. I mean when you actually want to be exclusive with someone you tend to put other girls on hold out of your own initiative.

Author:	n2thevoid [ Thu Dec 10, 2015 6:36 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Told girl I was seeing other people
Feels to me like this guy is so hung-up on who's right and who's wrong in the situation that he's failing to see the forest for the trees. Rather, he's the guy with his face smack-dab in the middle of a tree obstructing his view of everything else. If you want a relationship with this person that's your focus, not on "did I say the right thing?". But really, never apologize for being true to yourself " At the very least at least I'm proud of myself for being honest but it may have costed me this relationship and now maybe she thinks I'm an asshole. " This is a separate issue, your issue - it has everything to do with being grounded in yourself - you can spend your life searching for falsehoods around you but u'll get no closer to enlightenment. Focusing on truth, your truth, (i.e. your inner sense of ethics and morality, your values and beliefs) and doing so unwaveringly and unapologetically is the only thing that's really important, everything else is just static/white noise.

Author:	Dragula [ Thu Dec 10, 2015 6:54 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Told girl I was seeing other people
What Eddie said.. This is a typical case of being unsure of you both are. I went through something similar with my ex girlfriend and I told her that I had sex with a few girls before we put a label on the relationship. She will forgive you though, if you talk to her and make it Facebook official that you're now an exclusive couple and she is now your queen. If anything, it makes the foundation more solid since she knows you can obtain pussy without her so you have some good power points.

Author:	t-1000 [ Fri Dec 11, 2015 12:41 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Told girl I was seeing other people
Thanks guys I appreciate the advice. She's been pretty distant and I've been giving her space. Pretty much everyone I talked to outside of this told me I should have just lied. My delivery was defiantly off and I think that's what upset her, I was just taken a little off guard when she asked me. Cheers

Author:	neo87 [ Fri Dec 11, 2015 1:19 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Told girl I was seeing other people
You're way too passive.

Author:	oceanx [ Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:21 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Told girl I was seeing other people
I think you blurred the lines a bit here. What I mean is a girl can tell that you're not in it to settle down in most cases however with this one you may have been seeing her a few times a week which sort of makes her your de facto girlfriend. So she was straddling that line and if I were her I would've asked too. Decide what you want and proceed down that path. The past is over. Move ahead.

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