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Need all the help i can get!
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=193875		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  surflife [ Mon Nov 16, 2015 3:51 am ]
Post subject:  Need all the help i can get!
Whats up guys,
Pretty much the title sums it all up i need help and there is too much info out there.
I am 26 i work out, i have education still going to school for my masters degree. I am still butt hurt over my brake up with my ex. since her i have been with other women but its not consistent.
However, i am stuck when it comes to attracting women. I have a lot of sticking points. The problem is that i have read in the past the game and some other publications and each one has its on marketing BS and to be honest i found my self lost in between all that.
Sticking points:
Day:
  • When i see hot girls depending on my energy level, i would start a conversation. Ill introduce my self and be very playful 20%of the time i get a date. Yet, sometime i fight with my self to get a word out but they just pass by by then.
  • Many times when i talk to women at some point i lose interest. I feel that it would take too much effort to get with the person.
  • I over think what to say and definitely don't adhere to the 3 second rule. I feel as if i am never ready with the words (again depends on my energy)
  • many time i catch my self leading the conversion and talking for the sake of talking. I forget that the goal is not sole to chat and compliment their hair.
Night:
  • My energy is all over the place. If i go with my single friends and one of them is more energetic i tend to shy away. if we are all on the same level then i am ok. (i know i am all over the place)
    When am out with my friends who are all married i am unstoppable. ( i guess i feel safer)
  • i tend to think about how the situation would be during the day and i would find excuses to not approach.
  • Same like in the day i feel that i lack words all of a sudden.
I wish to reset all the random information i have about attraction and start fresh.
I would be very happy to get input on my current situation.
My only request is be real! no fluff
Author:  stevedtat [ Mon Nov 16, 2015 6:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need all the help i can get!
Hey welcome!
there's lots of help on here, and from who I've met they are all really f***ing awesome. I would suggest checking out gambler and Adam Lyons, they are great at this and really know how to break things down so that analytical minds can really divulge themselves into it. Adam has a smooth, intelligent style and Gambler has a slick, easy going style that just works great for smart guys like you and me. I also have a good education, although mine is in computer systems and mechanical engineering.

I would also recommend Richard La Ruina, but only after you check out Adam and Gambler first. they'll clear things up and you'll recognize the good from the bad.

and definitely listen to Chief on here, and try some of his missions. these guys really know what they're talking about. you're in good company here man. good luck
Author:  R.C [ Mon Nov 16, 2015 9:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need all the help i can get!
I know this may come as a shock, but humans are not robots.

Ofcourse your energy levels affect the quality of your interactions. Think of it like going to the gym. Sometimes you really dread the fucking idea of getting out of your damn chair. But once you get there, 90% of the times you'll adapt quite quick and get really into it. Other times, it's just one of those days.

The point is, you're supposed to force yourself to get out of your comfort zone. That's the only way you can expand it.

These aren't really sticking points. This is just lack of experience.
Author:  Dragula [ Mon Nov 16, 2015 11:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need all the help i can get!
What RC said

Man up

This requires some hard work , Read my sig link
Author:  stevedtat [ Mon Nov 16, 2015 8:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need all the help i can get!
Quote:
I know this may come as a shock, but humans are not robots.

Ofcourse your energy levels affect the quality of your interactions. Think of it like going to the gym. Sometimes you really dread the fucking idea of getting out of your damn chair. But once you get there, 90% of the times you'll adapt quite quick and get really into it. Other times, it's just one of those days.

The point is, you're supposed to force yourself to get out of your comfort zone. That's the only way you can expand it.

These aren't really sticking points. This is just lack of experience.
That's great advice and I completely agree with R.C.
Author:  surflife [ Mon Nov 16, 2015 9:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need all the help i can get!
Thank you for the fast reply,

I get what you are saying. But where is the starting zone?
I consider my self a social person, i meet new people daily. But like you said, it is lack of experience.
It is one thing to do the job, and another is to utilize the right tools. I have read
English's signature link, it is a gloating statement to a man who found these "tools".
My question to you how you found this and got to the point your in today. "Most of you guys…DO NOT HAVE A CHANCE…Sorry to be blunt. It is what it is." Its the same thing like saying not every one is born rich, but even some poor people strive and become rich, if that is the end goal.

Question for R.C
Is reading these fluffed up books and guides worth the time and effort?
I feel like it only left me to be a little unnatural.
Author:  R.C [ Tue Nov 17, 2015 11:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need all the help i can get!
Quote:
I feel like it only left me to be a little unnatural.
What books and guides?

There's only one book I'd ever stick my name by, and that's Models, by Mark Manson. The audiobook is even better since he reads it himself, so you get a better look and feel of things.

As far as guides go, there are a few good ones. The guide in my sig touches on a lot of general subjects, so if you want a starting point, that's a good one.

It's normal to feel a little unnatural. You're facing a challenge to step out of your comfort zone. Nobody feels comfortable when out of their comfort zone, obvious as that may sound.
However if you've been reading shit la MM or The Game or How to get women via NLP, then yeah, you've been wasting your time.
Author:  stevedtat [ Tue Nov 17, 2015 5:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need all the help i can get!
Quote:
What books and guides?

There's only one book I'd ever stick my name by, and that's Models, by Mark Manson. The audiobook is even better since he reads it himself, so you get a better look and feel of things.

As far as guides go, there are a few good ones. The guide in my sig touches on a lot of general subjects, so if you want a starting point, that's a good one.

It's normal to feel a little unnatural. You're facing a challenge to step out of your comfort zone. Nobody feels comfortable when out of their comfort zone, obvious as that may sound.
However if you've been reading shit la MM or The Game or How to get women via NLP, then yeah, you've been wasting your time.
Hey R.C., what do you think of The Natural by Richard La Ruisa? I read it and, although it reads like a text book, it's jam packed with good stuff. I'm reading models now, but the natural I would recommend also
Author:  R.C [ Tue Nov 17, 2015 5:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need all the help i can get!
I never read The Natural. I stopped at Models. Because when you hit gold, why keep digging?

Off the top of my head there is not a single line in that book that I differed in opinions with.
Author:  surflife [ Tue Dec 01, 2015 5:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need all the help i can get!
Hey guys,
So i am writing back after finishing reading Models. I have gained a lot of prospective thats for sure! I would recommend. (Audio book while in the gym was perfect)
The day before thanksgiving, I went out with friends after chilling and hanging out at about 1am It seems like was on fire. I was opening 2 sets like crazy, one after another after another (about 20 that night, the section about demographic was key for me. *thank you for the recommendation). Problem is this.I would love your feedback on this.
*I did not go for any phone number. (I was overthinking it , we had really nice convos and i did not want to crepply stop it . What i am trying to say i did not know how to transition.)
*Did not go for kiss or any kino. Well i did mess around with their hair and that spin thing (very spontaneous tho, was having really nice playful and genuine convos).

Looking forward to hear your feedback.
Author:  R.C [ Tue Dec 01, 2015 11:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need all the help i can get!
Transition to what?

Just tell her to put her number in your phone, casually as ever. If you don't make a big deal out of it, she won't make a big deal out of it.
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Wed Dec 02, 2015 11:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need all the help i can get!
Getting a girls phone number should be natural. There should be obvious mutual attraction between the two of you and either you guys can't fuck or you just fucked and she's about to leave/you're about to leave.

Not complicated
Author:  surflife [ Wed Dec 02, 2015 5:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need all the help i can get!
Thank you for the reply i do appreciate that.
But to take it a bit further. It should be natural as you state however, its not a tool i have.
Yes i have words, language and i can communicate, but the "natural" transition is something i have a problem with and i would also say anxiety. Its like saying be your self (good advice but what if my self is a shity self?). What if my natural (when it comes to setting up for a number or next date is shity) As you can see I am worked up about it because of the anxiety of "why did i not do it"
*Note, am not asking for a magic pill. If you guys can please share your experience with this sticking point and how you got pasted it.

Situation:
Open a 2/3 set. Engaged in conversation. Clearly see there is attraction (if not go to the next set). At some point it is time for you to leave. You want to set up next time to meet socially or a date.

What do you do from here? back when you were an AFC like me what strategy or how did you over come this obstacle. If you can provide more than 1 example. I am sure i will benefit from it and other would to.
Author:  Dragula [ Wed Dec 02, 2015 5:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need all the help i can get!
Quote:

Situation:
Open a 2/3 set. Engaged in conversation. Clearly see there is attraction (if not go to the next set). At some point it is time for you to leave. You want to set up next time to meet socially or a date.

What do you do from here? back when you were an AFC like me what strategy or how did you over come this obstacle. If you can provide more than 1 example. I am sure i will benefit from it and other would to.
You seem to think this is an obstacle. If you're talking to a group of 3 people an one girl is attracted to you, but her back towards her friends and game her, that way, she is still safe with her friends and they can engage each other. If it's 2 girls you will need to game both if you don't have a wingman.

Going back to your anxiety issues. If you get anxiety, you haven'y done it enough. Simple as that. Would you get the same anxiety when jumping out of a plane for the 1st time compared to the 100th time? Probably not. Same applies to meeting girls.
Author:  surflife [ Thu Dec 03, 2015 5:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need all the help i can get!
Haha true, we are honing down the core.
Lets keep the metaphor of the fear of sky diving for the first time.
Before you jump out of a plane the jumper needs:
A) A check list
B) Tools/equipment
C) Instruction ect.
With out one of these the jumper can die,seriously hurt or hurt others.
Even if you jump 1 time or 100 times you need to consistently have these before you jump and before you get to experience the fear you try to over come. So how would this apply to me?

One way of looking at is that i am interacting and engaging with women (since i am not a "natural") i am inconsistent , unaware or lack the tools needed to achieve my goals (when it comes to this subject) ect. I get stuck as mentioned above.

Since talking to women is not life threatening like skydiving is, and you can do it all day if you so wish. None the less it requires certain skill. Every time you guys enter a conversation you bring these List,tools and equipment to the conversation. This could be in the form of
A) hygienic
B) hats,watches, appearance and phones ect
C) Game or something that has prompted you to act the way you do in order to achieve what it is your going for. List can go on and on. While i poses the first two the last one it seems to never dawn on me. It is as if i am unable to reflect on the interaction to judge what i messed up on.

I feel rather dumb writing this :P
But i am content into improving this aspect in my life.
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