PUA Forum :: Dating girl for 2 months complex situation we're having

It's not against PUA rules, it's against common sense rules. You have not even been intimate yet. How can you possibly know you want something serious with her?
Besides, you don't tell women how you feel. You show them how you feel. If you want some woman to become your girlfriend, you do things couples do.

Like sex. Or cooking together. Or netflix and chill, then netflix and chill. Go on dates, movies, talk bullshit. Point is, if you treat her like your girlfriend, she'll start thinking of herself as your girlfriend.
Yes, at some point she'll keep insisting for verbal confirmation, but by that point, assuming we're talking about two normal human beings, the relationship will already have been formed. Agreeing on it is simply a formality.

Also, please don't misunderstand "treating her like your girlfriend" for "treating her like your superior". No overly romantic, uncalled for and undeserved gestures. Show her you like her, not that you need her. Don't be needy.

The things is OP, this woman is denying you intimacy (sex), but wants all the benefits of a stable boyfriend. She wants something "serious", but is not willing to be serious in return. She wants her needs met, but does not want to meet your own.
She wants her cake and she wants to eat it too.
Like I said, it's against common sense to agree being exclusive with someone you haven't even been with. Not to mention selfish of her to even ask for such things in the first place.

So what if she's been hurt? I'm not trying to sound cynical, but we've all been hurt at some point in our lives. That doesn't mean past experiences should govern future ones. And it also doesn't meant you're suddenly entitled to "free passes". Great things don't happen to those who cower in fear of taking a chance.

Life isn't a movie OP. Not only will she lose respect for you should you vomit your feelings prematurely, but it will also encourage her behavior and consolidate the idea that she can get whatever she wants from you and offer very little in return.
That's not a foundation for a healthy, functional relationship. Takes two to tango.

Have some self-respect.

Author:	darkpua [ Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:49 am ]
Post subject:	Dating girl for 2 months complex situation we're having
I picked this girl up 2 months ago and hit it off well. We've seen each other a lot and she told me she wanted something serious on more than one occasion. I'm falling for this girl HARD. We have not had sex yet, but I am still VERY attracted to this girl. Well, recently one of her parents passed away. I've been very supportive of her in her situation. Usually, I'm following the typical push-pull routines, but the last time I saw her I didn't even try any game. I wasn't too happy nor was I too sad, I didn't try macking it or playing cool either. We talked for a long time, and she opened up a bit, and once again subtlety hinted that she had feelings but was very protective because of a heart break she had. I'm planning on seeing her soon, how should I act when I'm around her? I know it may be against PUA rules, but I want to tell her that I want something serious as well and that I have feelings for her as well. Any suggestions on whether I should do this or not? If so, how?

Author:	masterm1ne [ Tue Nov 10, 2015 7:40 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Dating girl for 2 months complex situation we're having
Quote: I'm planning on seeing her soon, how should I act when I'm around her? I know it may be against PUA rules, but I want to tell her that I want something serious as well and that I have feelings for her as well. Any suggestions on whether I should do this or not? If so, how? Ughhhhh Turn off your game man... If you have a woman interested in you seeing you and responding, you don't need to act like anything. Just act natural and show her you're more than a friend... If you don't turn your brain off you're going to ruin it. Lead her to what you want without explicitly saying it. As the male in the relationship, you have the power to direct this in w/e direction you desire with what you say and do.

Author:	R.C [ Tue Nov 10, 2015 5:06 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dating girl for 2 months complex situation we're having
Quote: I picked this girl up 2 months ago and hit it off well. We've seen each other a lot and she told me she wanted something serious on more than one occasion. I'm falling for this girl HARD. We have not had sex yet Wait. What? What? Quote: I know it may be against PUA rules, but I want to tell her that I want something serious as well and that I have feelings for her as well It's not against PUA rules, it's against common sense rules. You have not even been intimate yet. How can you possibly know you want something serious with her? Besides, you don't tell women how you feel. You show them how you feel. If you want some woman to become your girlfriend, you do things couples do. Like sex. Or cooking together. Or netflix and chill, then netflix and chill. Go on dates, movies, talk bullshit. Point is, if you treat her like your girlfriend, she'll start thinking of herself as your girlfriend. Yes, at some point she'll keep insisting for verbal confirmation, but by that point, assuming we're talking about two normal human beings, the relationship will already have been formed. Agreeing on it is simply a formality. Also, please don't misunderstand "treating her like your girlfriend" for "treating her like your superior". No overly romantic, uncalled for and undeserved gestures. Show her you like her, not that you need her. Don't be needy. The things is OP, this woman is denying you intimacy (sex), but wants all the benefits of a stable boyfriend. She wants something "serious", but is not willing to be serious in return. She wants her needs met, but does not want to meet your own. She wants her cake and she wants to eat it too. Like I said, it's against common sense to agree being exclusive with someone you haven't even been with. Not to mention selfish of her to even ask for such things in the first place. So what if she's been hurt? I'm not trying to sound cynical, but we've all been hurt at some point in our lives. That doesn't mean past experiences should govern future ones. And it also doesn't meant you're suddenly entitled to "free passes". Great things don't happen to those who cower in fear of taking a chance. Life isn't a movie OP. Not only will she lose respect for you should you vomit your feelings prematurely, but it will also encourage her behavior and consolidate the idea that she can get whatever she wants from you and offer very little in return. That's not a foundation for a healthy, functional relationship. Takes two to tango. Have some self-respect.

Author:	darkpua [ Tue Nov 10, 2015 5:35 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dating girl for 2 months complex situation we're having
Thanks for the replies guys. I see what you both are saying in regards to spilling my guts. I won't allow that to happen. Sex seemed to be on the cards on our last official date. She invited me to her room and it seemed like it was about to happen, but one of her parents got upset and I had to leave. It's funny because we had seen each other 3 times before that and talked on the phone for a while as well, she told me she didn't want to rush sex with me because she wanted it to feel special. She also stated that it wouldn't happen for a while, but we came very close on that last date. I respect her comfort zone and don't want to seem pushy when it comes to sex especially now. Sex definitely seems to be off the cards now because of her recent loss. I'm legitimately worried about this girl and her situation so sex is not really too important. How do you guys suggest I treat her as my girlfriend and show her I have interest in her during this time? Also, how should I be physically communicating with her now? Should I maybe simply ask her? We usually are very touchy and kiss, I don't want to seem like I'm taking advantage because of her emotional vulnerability now. She also said last week she felt she wasn't ready for all that touchy stuff yet because of her situation.

Author:	R.C [ Wed Nov 11, 2015 10:03 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Dating girl for 2 months complex situation we're having
Stop trying to do her job for her. Yeah, she's going through a tough time. That doesn't mean you should assume what she wants. That means you simply have to be emphatic of it. I just told you in my previous post how to treat her like your girlfriend. Do shit together and display your affection towards her. And be willing to walk away when you're being stringed around. How old are you two? Because it sounds like you're quite young. Quote: Should I maybe simply ask her? Ask what?

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Author:	CharlesFinley [ Wed Nov 11, 2015 12:59 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dating girl for 2 months complex situation we're having
How on earth does this belong in the relationships section?

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Sat Nov 14, 2015 5:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dating girl for 2 months complex situation we're having
Quote: It's not against PUA rules, it's against common sense rules. You have not even been intimate yet. How can you possibly know you want something serious with her? Besides, you don't tell women how you feel. You show them how you feel. If you want some woman to become your girlfriend, you do things couples do. Like sex. Or cooking together. Or netflix and chill, then netflix and chill. Go on dates, movies, talk bullshit. Point is, if you treat her like your girlfriend, she'll start thinking of herself as your girlfriend. Yes, at some point she'll keep insisting for verbal confirmation, but by that point, assuming we're talking about two normal human beings, the relationship will already have been formed. Agreeing on it is simply a formality. Also, please don't misunderstand "treating her like your girlfriend" for "treating her like your superior". No overly romantic, uncalled for and undeserved gestures. Show her you like her, not that you need her. Don't be needy. The things is OP, this woman is denying you intimacy (sex), but wants all the benefits of a stable boyfriend. She wants something "serious", but is not willing to be serious in return. She wants her needs met, but does not want to meet your own. She wants her cake and she wants to eat it too. Like I said, it's against common sense to agree being exclusive with someone you haven't even been with. Not to mention selfish of her to even ask for such things in the first place. So what if she's been hurt? I'm not trying to sound cynical, but we've all been hurt at some point in our lives. That doesn't mean past experiences should govern future ones. And it also doesn't meant you're suddenly entitled to "free passes". Great things don't happen to those who cower in fear of taking a chance. Life isn't a movie OP. Not only will she lose respect for you should you vomit your feelings prematurely, but it will also encourage her behavior and consolidate the idea that she can get whatever she wants from you and offer very little in return. That's not a foundation for a healthy, functional relationship. Takes two to tango. Have some self-respect. I laughed and nodded in agreement the entire time.

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