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Girls who test how much you care by "breaking up" with you?
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Author:  high_baller [ Sun Nov 08, 2015 2:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Girls who test how much you care by "breaking up" with you?
My go to response for people who break up with me is "that's fine" even if I like them.

A girl I met on a dating app and went on a few dates with,and who I really connected with, broke up with me so I said "that's fine" despite me being really upset about it. She took offence to my casual response (thinking about it it was probably a test) and said that I don't fight for her and clearly don't care enough to bother fixing things etc. we had a big fight and went our separate ways.

I like this girl compared to all the ones I've dated despite her childish games and I want her back. Any advice on how to get her back and still be alpha about it?
Author:  JackZero [ Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls who test how much you care by "breaking up" with y
Let her go. Either she has given up on you or is playing mental games. Don't put up with either.
Author:  Style981 [ Sun Nov 08, 2015 7:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls who test how much you care by "breaking up" with y
Quote:
Let her go. Either she has given up on you or is playing mental games. Don't put up with either.
i second this.

You did the right thing OP. That's the best response you can give. Though its better to ask her the reason casually before saying "fine" so that in case she's testing you, you don't appear as arrorgant or as if you don't care about her.

I once had a similar experience and guess what? she came back after 1 month and said I didn't loved her at all and bla bla. The key is not only to Act needy, but also not to be needy.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Sun Nov 08, 2015 8:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls who test how much you care by "breaking up" with y
The test wasn't the break up, the test was her response after you were so casual. It was a test to see if you were serious about the nonchalantness or if it was just an act. By arguing you showed it was an act, had you not responded after saying "thats fine" she would of contacted you shortly after (a few days) with a complete change of heart.

Your authenticity is the only thing that gets tested. If she can get you to not stand by your word or convictions that will be all the fuel needed. Also consider that it is probably only this situation that tug of war game that has drawn more investment out of you causing you to feel more connected to this situation.

Still a chance she'll rear her head again though. Just make sure you're active on your pursuits so that you're in the right frame of mind when and if she does. And if not you'll have something new lined up.
Author:  JackZero [ Sun Nov 08, 2015 9:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls who test how much you care by "breaking up" with y
Quote:
The test wasn't the break up, the test was her response after you were so casual. It was a test to see if you were serious about the nonchalantness or if it was just an act. By arguing you showed it was an act, had you not responded after saying "thats fine" she would of contacted you shortly after (a few days) with a complete change of heart.

Your authenticity is the only thing that gets tested. If she can get you to not stand by your word or convictions that will be all the fuel needed. Also consider that it is probably only this situation that tug of war game that has drawn more investment out of you causing you to feel more connected to this situation.

Still a chance she'll rear her head again though. Just make sure you're active on your pursuits so that you're in the right frame of mind when and if she does. And if not you'll have something new lined up.
All true
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Mon Nov 09, 2015 4:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls who test how much you care by "breaking up" with y
I don't put up with bullshit games like that.
Author:  R.C [ Mon Nov 09, 2015 7:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls who test how much you care by "breaking up" with y
Lol just lol @ women who break up just to test. In what world would that ever be justified?

Anyway, good response op.
Author:  neo87 [ Mon Nov 09, 2015 6:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls who test how much you care by "breaking up" with y
Whether it was a test or game or not depends on what reason she gave you. Like if she liked you but didn't see things progressing due to your aloofness just being honest would've been enough. If she just did it to do it then it's a game. You gotta know what her reason or at least supposed reason was to establish whether it was valid. If she had said she sees you as a friend and when you say fine she goes off on you then it's a test or game she's playing.

But aren't you gay? That changes the dynamic of your situation, how you treated her and acted and whether it was a test or not. Either way just date guys man... Cause if you're gay and dating women pretending to be straight your just making things overly complicated and wasting yours as well as these women's time.
Author:  Finished [ Mon Nov 09, 2015 10:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls who test how much you care by "breaking up" with y
Your mistake was when you started arguing with her.

Should of just ignored her and carried on with your own stuff and seeing other girls. She would eventually come around and want to see you again.
Author:  J.Daniels [ Tue Nov 10, 2015 3:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls who test how much you care by "breaking up" with y
Quote:
The test wasn't the break up, the test was her response after you were so casual. It was a test to see if you were serious about the nonchalantness or if it was just an act. By arguing you showed it was an act, had you not responded after saying "thats fine" she would of contacted you shortly after (a few days) with a complete change of heart.

Your authenticity is the only thing that gets tested. If she can get you to not stand by your word or convictions that will be all the fuel needed. Also consider that it is probably only this situation that tug of war game that has drawn more investment out of you causing you to feel more connected to this situation.

Still a chance she'll rear her head again though. Just make sure you're active on your pursuits so that you're in the right frame of mind when and if she does. And if not you'll have something new lined up.
Anybody who sees this, read it multiple times. Write it down if you have to.
Author:  high_baller [ Wed Nov 11, 2015 12:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls who test how much you care by "breaking up" with y
Thank you all for your replies. I learned a lot from what everyone said and I truely appreciate the time you took to reply :)
Author:  high_baller [ Wed Nov 11, 2015 3:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls who test how much you care by "breaking up" with y
Quote:
The test wasn't the break up, the test was her response after you were so casual. It was a test to see if you were serious about the nonchalantness or if it was just an act. By arguing you showed it was an act, had you not responded after saying "thats fine" she would of contacted you shortly after (a few days) with a complete change of heart.

Your authenticity is the only thing that gets tested. If she can get you to not stand by your word or convictions that will be all the fuel needed. Also consider that it is probably only this situation that tug of war game that has drawn more investment out of you causing you to feel more connected to this situation.

Still a chance she'll rear her head again though. Just make sure you're active on your pursuits so that you're in the right frame of mind when and if she does. And if not you'll have something new lined up.
Thanks for your insightful reply.
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