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Why's she stopped speaking to me after sex?
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Author:  Clocks [ Sun Jun 14, 2015 8:43 am ]
Post subject:  Why's she stopped speaking to me after sex?
I'll try and summarise relevant info:

Met a Latvian (i.e. eastern european) woman during day game. She was quite bossy and assertive when I met her, and also told me she was on her way to meet a man. I dismissed it (if he's not your boyfriend give me your number) and got the number but wasn't expecting a text back.

Day 1
We texted, I got her out on a date and kissed a bit (not much tongue) but it went quite well. I tried to arrange a 2nd date there and she said to 'SPAM her' - her being assertive again.

Day 2
I arranged a 2nd date a few days later and we went to a restaurant then to a bar. We got pretty sexual in the bar, making out, my hand on her thighs, and even playing with her nipples under her top. In the middle of this she tells me she has a free house the next day and asks me to come over. On the way home she texts me a sexy pic of her in her underwear with a couple of dirty messages.

Day 3
The next day I go to hers, we eat and then she's pretty much straight on it, putting my hand into her underwear while she's sat on my lap while I'm sorting out music on her laptop. We do some oral then I fuck her - she is a lot more experienced than me and is dominant during 60% of the sex. She comes at least once and then hurries me up to come, really riding me and using dirty talk. After I finish I find out she is sore from the condom or something (says it's uncomfortable for her even though she wanted to use one) so we don't do anything else after that. I was thinking of going home but she was all cuddly and wanted me to get in bed and sleep/cuddle with her. So we do that for a bit, talk a bit, kiss a bit.

At this point I reailse she wants me to stay so a few hours of talking, listening to music, kissing/cuddling, etc. She keeps telling me how much she likes my body (from the gym), asks if my female friend I talked about is prettier than her jokingly (even though she knew it was just a friend), talks about the dirty things we're going to be getting up to in the future, and how we'll be going shopping together and to parties together. we're ready to go to sleep. We get horny again and end up fucking a second time - except this time after she comes and she's wanting me to come also I tell her it isn't going to happen soon (even though I am still hard -due to just coming), so we stop as it's uncomfortable for her. We go to sleep and in the morning she's still sleepy so I kiss her goodbye and tell her to text me.

After
No contact for a day and a half, then I leave her a voicemail. She SPAM:
Hey how are you? Thanks for calling I was in argos getting the tongs I wanted :)
Me: Did you get the little candles as well lol? I'm great
Her: Forgot about the candles :( thanks for reminding will get some tomo :) i did body pump yesterday at home. Everything is aching :)
Me: You'll have to send me a picture when you've got then lit. Very cool! I should be there massaging your sore sexy muscles...

Then I get no reply, so 3 days later (Saturday/yesterday) I SPAM her:
Hey cheeky, fancy meeting up again this week?

To which she read straight away but hasn't replied... Why would this be?
I would've thought maybe if I was shit in bed (but she came at least twice), or maybe because of the (at least 1) other guy she's seeing? But how affectionate she was when I was at hers, wanting me to sleep/cuddle with her, her talk of us going shopping/to parties, etc. make this really surprising for me.
Author:  Cdharders [ Mon Jun 15, 2015 10:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why's she stopped speaking to me after sex?
The text you sent about sore sexy muscles was a little weird. I would have expected her to respond though. It's possible she really was busy and since you didn't directly ask a question, she was not required to respond.

Also the next text was a little silly. Once you sleep with the girl, you don't need to worry about the nicknames and all the flirty stuff. She likes you. It's all about solving logistics for the next time you'll see each other.

You're better off finding out when she's free during the cuddle session. Set up the next time you're going to see her before you take off.
Author:  R.C [ Mon Jun 15, 2015 11:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why's she stopped speaking to me after sex?
Quote:
The text you sent about sore sexy muscles was a little weird. I would have expected her to respond though.
It was a fine text. Playful and fun, nothing wrong with it.
Quote:
Also the next text was a little silly. Once you sleep with the girl, you don't need to worry about the nicknames and all the flirty stuff. She likes you. It's all about solving logistics for the next time you'll see each other.
That's bullshit. Please don't advocate that it's alright for guys to get comfortable just because they've had sex. Nicknames and flirty stuff are all the more amplified after that if anything.

OP, Cdharders is right about one thing, which is that she likes you. After sex it's usually the women that are more invested, not the men. So let her invest. Don't hyperventilate over nothing, she will get back to you.
Author:  GenesisPUA [ Mon Jun 15, 2015 12:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why's she stopped speaking to me after sex?
R.C is on point. I agree guys should not get comfortable just because they had sex or even in ltr. Those make you interesting and attractive.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Mon Jun 15, 2015 12:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why's she stopped speaking to me after sex?
You wouldn't believe how often this happens.

You got high strung off the intensity of what she was providing you with. All the affection, the intense sex, the compliments and sweet talk. That will get any man like that. You didn't do anything wrong but get a tad bit overly invested in her emotionally.

You have to learn to just chill man. The moment you start feeling a tad bit desperate even if its just 1% a girl can sniff it out and will pull away a bit because "she can". She can focus on other things and you'll still have your attention on her.

This is simple.

Just lay low for a bit and she'll come back around. Give it a week or two. And accept the potential reality that this could just be "her thing". She's sounds like she was intentionally trying to seduce you and she was successful. The only way she exits is if she "wins". So chill out. Don't text her anymore, let her come your way.
Author:  Clocks [ Wed Jun 17, 2015 8:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why's she stopped speaking to me after sex?
I read everyone's reply and some solid responses, thanks fellas. I was freaking out over nothing... she SPAM me some stuff about a hair product she was telling me about and now we're chatting again. In fact, I feel less invested after this little break from her which is great.

I have another question if you don't mind... So far we've been to dinner and had drinks a few times. I've paid for everything but want to stop this now as she is never offers to pay. She suggested we go to a boat party soon and I bet she's going to want me to buy her ticket and probably drinks and I'm wondering if she's a bit of a gold digger (I have no experience with this). Also she kept telling me how impressed she was with my job/career (finance)

I'm not going to keep paying for things so how do I address this without making a big deal about it? When we talk about the boat party next should I just tell her to buy her ticket and I'll buy mine? For drinks I guess I'll just buy the first ones then say how about you buy me a drink now

Cheers as always
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Wed Jun 17, 2015 9:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why's she stopped speaking to me after sex?
Quote:
I read everyone's reply and some solid responses, thanks fellas. I was freaking out over nothing... she SPAM me some stuff about a hair product she was telling me about and now we're chatting again. In fact, I feel less invested after this little break from her which is great.

I have another question if you don't mind... So far we've been to dinner and had drinks a few times. I've paid for everything but want to stop this now as she is never offers to pay. She suggested we go to a boat party soon and I bet she's going to want me to buy her ticket and probably drinks and I'm wondering if she's a bit of a gold digger (I have no experience with this). Also she kept telling me how impressed she was with my job/career (finance)

I'm not going to keep paying for things so how do I address this without making a big deal about it? When we talk about the boat party next should I just tell her to buy her ticket and I'll buy mine? For drinks I guess I'll just buy the first ones then say how about you buy me a drink now

Cheers as always
Once you become addicted to a certain pattern you can just do a 180 that quickly without setting off alarms. What did you pay at first? And why do you no longer want to pay?

The boat part thingy is a good way to shift the tide if the tickets can be bought online. All you would have to do is text her " Did you buy your ticket yet? I'm about to get mine"

But whats your reason..
Author:  Clocks [ Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why's she stopped speaking to me after sex?
Quote:
Quote:
I read everyone's reply and some solid responses, thanks fellas. I was freaking out over nothing... she SPAM me some stuff about a hair product she was telling me about and now we're chatting again. In fact, I feel less invested after this little break from her which is great.

I have another question if you don't mind... So far we've been to dinner and had drinks a few times. I've paid for everything but want to stop this now as she is never offers to pay. She suggested we go to a boat party soon and I bet she's going to want me to buy her ticket and probably drinks and I'm wondering if she's a bit of a gold digger (I have no experience with this). Also she kept telling me how impressed she was with my job/career (finance)

I'm not going to keep paying for things so how do I address this without making a big deal about it? When we talk about the boat party next should I just tell her to buy her ticket and I'll buy mine? For drinks I guess I'll just buy the first ones then say how about you buy me a drink now

Cheers as always
Once you become addicted to a certain pattern you can just do a 180 that quickly without setting off alarms. What did you pay at first? And why do you no longer want to pay?

The boat part thingy is a good way to shift the tide if the tickets can be bought online. All you would have to do is text her " Did you buy your ticket yet? I'm about to get mine"

But whats your reason..
I offer to pay initially on all dates because I do have a decent job and I think it should be me since I ask the girl out. But I do like when the girl offers and wouldn't expect it to be me forever after that... Especially if the girl suggests something. I'm a bit concerned that she wants me to pay for everything. She seems pretty independent otherwise

So you recommend me suggesting she order hers online and I do the same?

Thanks
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why's she stopped speaking to me after sex?
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I read everyone's reply and some solid responses, thanks fellas. I was freaking out over nothing... she SPAM me some stuff about a hair product she was telling me about and now we're chatting again. In fact, I feel less invested after this little break from her which is great.

I have another question if you don't mind... So far we've been to dinner and had drinks a few times. I've paid for everything but want to stop this now as she is never offers to pay. She suggested we go to a boat party soon and I bet she's going to want me to buy her ticket and probably drinks and I'm wondering if she's a bit of a gold digger (I have no experience with this). Also she kept telling me how impressed she was with my job/career (finance)

I'm not going to keep paying for things so how do I address this without making a big deal about it? When we talk about the boat party next should I just tell her to buy her ticket and I'll buy mine? For drinks I guess I'll just buy the first ones then say how about you buy me a drink now

Cheers as always
Once you become addicted to a certain pattern you can just do a 180 that quickly without setting off alarms. What did you pay at first? And why do you no longer want to pay?

The boat part thingy is a good way to shift the tide if the tickets can be bought online. All you would have to do is text her " Did you buy your ticket yet? I'm about to get mine"

But whats your reason..
I offer to pay initially on all dates because I do have a decent job and I think it should be me since I ask the girl out. But I do like when the girl offers and wouldn't expect it to be me forever after that... Especially if the girl suggests something. I'm a bit concerned that she wants me to pay for everything. She seems pretty independent otherwise

So you recommend me suggesting she order hers online and I do the same?

Thanks
I didn't say suggest anything. Just send her what I wrote. Her answer will tell you what to do next.
Author:  Clocks [ Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why's she stopped speaking to me after sex?
We were going to do the weekend after this so I wouldn't be talking to her about tickets until early next week. Am I okay to send you a private message with her response in about a week if this thread is on page 2 or something ?

The message you said to send seems like it's leading her to ask me to buy it while I'm buying mine or almost sounds like I'm offering to buy it for her. Can I ask your reason for it ?
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Wed Jun 17, 2015 11:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why's she stopped speaking to me after sex?
Quote:
We were going to do the weekend after this so I wouldn't be talking to her about tickets until early next week. Am I okay to send you a private message with her response in about a week if this thread is on page 2 or something ?

The message you said to send seems like it's leading her to ask me to buy it while I'm buying mine or almost sounds like I'm offering to buy it for her. Can I ask your reason for it ?
I don't think it sounds like that at all, but I could see how you would given your circumstance. The text I gave was implying that she should grab hers. You'll grab yours and you two will go.

Drop the " I'm about to get mine" part and it should be straight,
Author:  Clocks [ Sun Jun 28, 2015 2:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why's she stopped speaking to me after sex?
Just thought I'd post an update...

You boys were right. We've met twice since and fucked twice since. She's texting me a lot more now, usually first. And is even arranging the events. If anything I'm finding it a bit too much lol

I read a pua post which said if you sleep with a girl twice, she's yours... I'm finding this to be true

Thanks again for your advice
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