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| Should you directly ask a girl out, or keep it casual? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=190975 |
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| Author: | slashrfnr [ Mon Jun 08, 2015 7:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Should you directly ask a girl out, or keep it casual? |
There is a chick who works a couple of floors down from me. We're both part of a wider group who go to the pub after work on Friday. We lightly flirt, and I get the feeling she is interested in me. A couple of times in recent weeks, she has invited me to the pub after work. Sometimes when she has invited other people, sometimes she hasn't. Ended up in the pub last Tuesday by ourselves, but some socially inept colleague turned up and spent 2 hours with us. After he left, continued getting to know her, flirting and touching etc I text her Thursday night asking if she fancied this wine bar in London on Friday. She had an exam in London the next day, so said she would meet me afterwards. Anyway, on Friday, her exam got cancelled due to technical issues at our workplace, so she didn't make it in to London, and we didn't meet. I've shown her that I'm interested without explicitly saying it. I feel like making it casual (and the short term frame) meant it was no big deal to her if she cancelled. But if I had been explicit in telling her it was a date and making concrete plans, she would've still come into London. I've read some stuff around here about keeping things casual so as not to put too much pressure on the girl and freak her out. Should I go direct, or continue being casual, with the risk of her bailing, or other people we know joining us? |
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| Author: | Eddie Fews [ Mon Jun 08, 2015 7:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Should you directly ask a girl out, or keep it casual? |
The more vague you are, the more she will be confused about your intentions. The more confused she is about your intentions, the more confused she will behave toward you, and the more confused she behaves toward you the more you will miss opportunities to escalate and the more you miss opportunity to escalate the more likely you'll end up in the friend zone. Be indirect all you want man, it can work, but to meet nothing beats straight up communicating your intentions with confidence. She knows what you want and knows why she's out with you. The rest become easy. |
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| Author: | Mr. Assertive [ Mon Jun 08, 2015 8:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Should you directly ask a girl out, or keep it casual? |
there is no shame in going direct. Honestly, the more indirect I am the more feminine it feels. I am not saying indirect doesn't work, but in the end you will have to state your sexual interest in the women since you will have to reveal that you find the women attractive if you want to seduce them...never once have I fucked a girl without stating interest first. |
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| Author: | slashrfnr [ Tue Jun 09, 2015 9:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Should you directly ask a girl out, or keep it casual? |
Thanks for the great responses gents. Its provided me with a lot of motivation. When going direct, does it make any difference if I actually specify it as a date. i.e 'I want to take you to X place on a date' or is can I still make my intentions clear by saying 'Lets go to X bar next week, what night are you free?'? My thinking is towards the former, but i understand the advice on not making things too formal. |
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