PUA Forum :: Text her often vs text her scarcely?

I've seen arguments been brought for both these approaches. So which is better and why?

Say you've never been on a date with her. Or say you've been on a few. Maybe you're getting infatuated with her or maybe you're a naturally very social guy. Or maybe a combination of both and you can't figure out exactly which one it is. Either way, the question is this:

Do you text her every day, small talk, flirt, build comfort
OR
Do you text her every few days with light / fun / flirty and emotionally stirring messages?

In my opinion talking often can lead to her getting too comfortable with you. It's easy to drift into meaningless smalltalk and keeping the sexuality / fun of it all high when you text daily is impossible. Plus, that's what she does with her friends right? You don't wanna be viewed as that. On the other hand I can see how it can create a "strong" bond, since you're becoming a constant presence in her life from the get go.

Having conversations every few days to keep things interesting between dates or before the first has it's obvious benefits as well. You create anticipation, and in this case scarcity can easily equal value. It's like "I love you's". Their impact wears off significantly harder - if at all - when not being spewed out every other 10 minutes.

Talking "whenever you feel like it" isn't really good advice. Because if you're at that level where you can do whatever the hell you want and get away with it, you don't need advice in the first place.
If you're a couch potato that's slowly starting to work on himself, sometimes you have to fake it while in the process of making it.

So yeah, which is better?

Author:	Ghost. [ Mon May 18, 2015 10:48 am ]
Post subject:	Text her often vs text her scarcely?
I've seen arguments been brought for both these approaches. So which is better and why? Say you've never been on a date with her. Or say you've been on a few. Maybe you're getting infatuated with her or maybe you're a naturally very social guy. Or maybe a combination of both and you can't figure out exactly which one it is. Either way, the question is this: Do you text her every day, small talk, flirt, build comfort OR Do you text her every few days with light / fun / flirty and emotionally stirring messages? In my opinion talking often can lead to her getting too comfortable with you. It's easy to drift into meaningless smalltalk and keeping the sexuality / fun of it all high when you text daily is impossible. Plus, that's what she does with her friends right? You don't wanna be viewed as that. On the other hand I can see how it can create a "strong" bond, since you're becoming a constant presence in her life from the get go. Having conversations every few days to keep things interesting between dates or before the first has it's obvious benefits as well. You create anticipation, and in this case scarcity can easily equal value. It's like "I love you's". Their impact wears off significantly harder - if at all - when not being spewed out every other 10 minutes. Talking "whenever you feel like it" isn't really good advice. Because if you're at that level where you can do whatever the hell you want and get away with it, you don't need advice in the first place. If you're a couch potato that's slowly starting to work on himself, sometimes you have to fake it while in the process of making it. So yeah, which is better?

Author:	J.Daniels [ Mon May 18, 2015 10:51 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Text her often vs text her scarcely?
Quote: I've seen arguments been brought for both these approaches. So which is better and why? Say you've never been on a date with her. Or say you've been on a few. Maybe you're getting infatuated with her or maybe you're a naturally very social guy. Or maybe a combination of both and you can't figure out exactly which one it is. Either way, the question is this: Do you text her every day, small talk, flirt, build comfort OR Do you text her every few days with light / fun / flirty and emotionally stirring messages? In my opinion talking often can lead to her getting too comfortable with you. It's easy to drift into meaningless smalltalk and keeping the sexuality / fun of it all high when you text daily is impossible. Plus, that's what she does with her friends right? You don't wanna be viewed as that. On the other hand I can see how it can create a "strong" bond, since you're becoming a constant presence in her life from the get go. Having conversations every few days to keep things interesting between dates or before the first has it's obvious benefits as well. You create anticipation, and in this case scarcity can easily equal value. It's like "I love you's". Their impact wears off significantly harder - if at all - when not being spewed out every other 10 minutes. Talking "whenever you feel like it" isn't really good advice. Because if you're at that level where you can do whatever the hell you want and get away with it, you don't need advice in the first place. If you're a couch potato that's slowly starting to work on himself, sometimes you have to fake it while in the process of making it. So yeah, which is better? Text her once a week to arrange a date, then don't text again until a date. If there was no silence in music, it'd just be a constant noise. Keep it short, mysterious, simple. Even if she tries to text you before the date, tell her "Hi! It's good to hear from you. I'm really busy now, but I'm looking forward to seeing you on Friday!" Learned from Corey Wayne, used, effective.

Author:	Ryanm74 [ Mon May 18, 2015 12:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Text her often vs text her scarcely?
I'm going to go with the text once a week approach. I have been texting a few women often [50 ish text a day] and that seems to be alittle to much. Calling is alot better imo. You can ask her questions and get to hear her response. It is alot easy to ignore a question through text than in person or a phone call.

Author:	AndreasJacobsen [ Mon May 18, 2015 1:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Text her often vs text her scarcely?
Actually just commented on a similar topic, so here are my thoughts once again! it depends on the situation. - If you are dating her, use texts/phone calls to ask her out. - texting can be great to build some sexual tension before the date - if you want to know her better and there is no date in sight, call her. If she is not comfortable going on a date with you, build some rapport by having a phone call with her - if you bother. My biggest argument against texting often: takes away the mystery!

Author:	R.C [ Mon May 18, 2015 2:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Text her often vs text her scarcely?
Quote: It's like "I love you's". Their impact wears off significantly harder - if at all - when not being spewed out every other 10 minutes. There's your answer. I'd say once every 2-3-4 days is the sweetspot.

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Author:	Eddie Fews [ Mon May 18, 2015 7:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Text her often vs text her scarcely?
This is why I advise calling. One great phone call will have a girl chases you for a couple weeks. The phone allows you to make that emotional connection in a way that texting doesn't allow. So I say Call once and the rest will take care of itself.

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