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| Transitioning from a Direct Opener https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=190394 |
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| Author: | vissanik [ Sun May 17, 2015 4:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Transitioning from a Direct Opener |
I went to the mall yesterday and did 5 direct approaches. All 5 failed, at least in part due to my difficulty transitioning from the direct opener to normal conversation. The approach typically went something like this: Me: "Hey... I just saw you from over there and had to come over and say hi, because I think you are beautiful." Her: "Oh thank you!" Me: "I'm John by the way" Her: "I'm Sarah" Me: "So how's your shopping going?" Her: "Good" And from here, I get one word responses, and it's very difficult to not fall into an interview style interaction, which basically kills any attraction. At the end, I usually ask for a way to keep in touch with her, but with such a weak conversation, I'm not getting the digits b/c I can't transition from the direct opener into normal conversation. Any pointers would be appreciated. |
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| Author: | JackZero [ Sun May 17, 2015 5:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Transitioning from a Direct Opener |
IMO, here's where you're going wrong just with the example you gave. Quote: Me: "So how's your shopping going?" You gave her a great compliment that probably piqued her interest in you. The problem is the question you're asking is basically going to allow her to give an automated response, in essence, that immediately causes her to lose that interest. I would have guessed that she would say something like "fine" or "good" the moment I asked. I'm not saying that it's not a good question, but it should have been asked in a different way or followed up with a question that would allow her to expand on the answer: You: How's your shopping going? Her: Good. You: Don't tell me you are one of those women that loves to shop... Going that route, you'll start moving the conversation to an emotional level and getting emotional responses. That's your opportunity to agree and/or understand her (in her eyes) which will lay the foundation of building a rapport with her. |
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| Author: | dasmooth [ Sun May 17, 2015 5:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Transitioning from a Direct Opener |
From wht u said, it sounded lke when u went direct it ddnt really hook tht well. She was probably very surprised n then u shifted the pressure on her by asking a question. It probably wouldve went a little better if u shifted back to indiect, talking about yourself and whts goin' on with u, make an observation about wht she's wearing , continue talking about yourself/ the location of where the interaction is taking place, building investment by her listening n making her comfortable with u, then ask a question such as a small /medium hoop to get some more compliance n investment gradually building tht compliance n investment. Talk about yourself a lil bit in the beginning til the girl is more comfortable with giving more of an answer rather than lke a pat one word answer. A great way of making a girl comfortable with u fast unless she's apathetic/doesn't really care/not attracted at which point u should stop n end the interaction. |
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| Author: | Mr. Assertive [ Sun May 17, 2015 9:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Transitioning from a Direct Opener |
so what brings you to the mall? I like open ended questions best. if you had to use questions |
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| Author: | IamGunner [ Mon May 18, 2015 5:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Transitioning from a Direct Opener |
I asked the same exact question a while back. I think this will help you out a lot i-have-horrible-transitions-from-openin ... 89340.html |
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| Author: | Eddie Fews [ Mon May 18, 2015 7:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Transitioning from a Direct Opener |
Quote: Me: "So how's your shopping going?" There is where guys ruin their chances.. They're either approaching because a book told them to and have no idea why they're even approaching or they begin asking fluff questions that have nothing to do with the reason they approached. Why did you approach? And what do you want to know? or What do you want? These are the question you must learn to ask yourself. Are you just approaching because you think she's cute? If you don't know where you are going or why you are going there how could she trust you to lead her anywhere? You're just outside approaching girls randomly and asking them shit you don't care about. You have no idea what you want or why you're even out there. And if you do, you don't bother communicating it and then you wonder why the conversation doesn't go anywhere. You didn't come in with the intention to take it anywhere. This is where you sit with yourself and figure these things out before you approach. Without purpose the pursuit is without point. |
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