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https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=189941		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Onoma [ Tue Apr 28, 2015 2:21 am ]
Post subject:  Conversation
Not really asking a question here, maybe just whining/venting... but maybe it'll help someone.

There's this HB9 who sits right across from me at work. I'm not gaming her because we work together, but there's times I regret that. That's not important right now though, I'm just setting the stage.

We don't talk much, but occasionally we end up in the elevator or something together and we'll make small talk. Today specifically I could have kicked myself.

On the elevator...

Her: How are you doing?
Me: I'm tired, it's monday (AKA boring depressing crap.)

Try to recover in the hallway...

Me: How was your weekend?
Her: It was ok, didn't do much. You?
Me: Didn't do much. (Then as an afterthought) Well, I did go to a friend's party

Don't even remember what she said. It was a generic response to my lame answer.

What could I have said? How about, "Oh went to this cool wine pairing dinner for my friend's birthday!"

Or "for my friend Jill's surprise party!"

Or really anything but "didn't do much."

This probably goes without saying, but by literally giving any kind of real answer, instead of just a generic "not much" it would have given her something to continue the conversation on. She's not going to ask about a generic friend, but very much might ask about the wine, or where the party was or how the food was.

I'm thinking always mentally review the last couple days and figure out what to say about them. That way you won't be caught off guard with nothing to say when people ask.
Author:  Capaverde [ Tue Apr 28, 2015 4:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Conversation
Quote:
I'm thinking always mentally review the last couple days and figure out what to say about them. That way you won't be caught off guard with nothing to say when people ask.
Though are you obligated to say something whenever that is asked of you? To keep up the act? Can't you tell them you don't wish to answer the question and state your reasons? Can't you just tell them off when they try to get something from you, asking them why they wish to know it and then telling them that that's not a good reason? In the arguing scene you might also build rapport, since you're both striving to and reaching a conclusion together, and understanding more of each other's thought process due to it.


Me: How was your weekend?
Her: It was ok, didn't do much. You?
Me: Nothing much either, do you have any plans for today?

"What could I have said? How about, "Oh went to this cool wine pairing dinner for my friend's birthday!" "
Try not to say unnecessary things if possible, if you say them too much the conversation is likely to never advance because you're being a bit too random and that is annoying.
Author:  Onoma [ Tue Apr 28, 2015 11:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Conversation
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I'm thinking always mentally review the last couple days and figure out what to say about them. That way you won't be caught off guard with nothing to say when people ask.
Though are you obligated to say something whenever that is asked of you? To keep up the act? Can't you tell them you don't wish to answer the question and state your reasons? Can't you just tell them off when they try to get something from you, asking them why they wish to know it and then telling them that that's not a good reason?
Umm... ok maybe I should have been specific: "When people whom I want to converse with ask." In the case I'm talking about I wanted to talk with the girl more, and responded the same way I do when I don't feel like talking to someone (most people) just out of habit.
Quote:
In the arguing scene you might also build rapport, since you're both striving to and reaching a conclusion together, and understanding more of each other's thought process due to it.
Arguing scene? Huh?
Quote:
Me: How was your weekend?
Her: It was ok, didn't do much. You?
Me: Nothing much either, do you have any plans for today?

"What could I have said? How about, "Oh went to this cool wine pairing dinner for my friend's birthday!" "
Try not to say unnecessary things if possible, if you say them too much the conversation is likely to never advance because you're being a bit too random and that is annoying.
How is it random to say what I did when asked what I did? This gives something to advance the conversation ON. Just asking her what her plans doesn't seem any better than asking about her weekend, would probably just get the same "not much" answer.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Tue Apr 28, 2015 11:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Conversation
You won't reminder that shit when its crunch time and unless you practice over and over, but who wants to do that? lol

It sounds like typical "work talk" to me.

You're doing the right thing by not gaming her. You'll regret that a lot more than you will from not going for it. I've made the same mistake several times, and that shit ends bad. Unless of course you think this is your wife to be. If its just something you wanna bang a few times, don't even do it. And the less you want to, the more she'll want you to. Every guys always thinking about banging their cute coworkers. The one guy that isn't, never has a problem knowing what to say to them and the chicks are usually around him.

They have friends. Never under estimate the power of banging a chicks friends. If you're open and honest about yourself a girl has no problem hooking you up with her "dtf" friends.
Author:  Onoma [ Tue Apr 28, 2015 12:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Conversation
Quote:
You won't reminder that shit when its crunch time and unless you practice over and over, but who wants to do that? lol
That's kinda funny coming from you. You're always telling us to do things we don't want to do. :P

Quote:
It sounds like typical "work talk" to me.

You're doing the right thing by not gaming her. You'll regret that a lot more than you will from not going for it. I've made the same mistake several times, and that shit ends bad. Unless of course you think this is your wife to be. If its just something you wanna bang a few times, don't even do it. And the less you want to, the more she'll want you to. Every guys always thinking about banging their cute coworkers. The one guy that isn't, never has a problem knowing what to say to them and the chicks are usually around him.
Good to know, although getting to really not want to bang her is pretty tough SPAM. Mostly I'm hoping to keep in a position where if I leave this job (which I might be soon) I can invite her out for a drink or something. I don't think that'll be realistic if all our conversations are awkward like this...

(And no, not my wife to be... just a really cute chick I'd like to bang.)
Quote:
They have friends. Never under estimate the power of banging a chicks friends. If you're open and honest about yourself a girl has no problem hooking you up with her "dtf" friends.
That could work too. :) Although this office seems to completely lack social outings. Since I started almost three months ago I've already been to two happy hours for another office and mine hasn't had any! :(
Author:  R.C [ Tue Apr 28, 2015 12:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Conversation
Dating coworkers, definition:
Easily one of the most stupid decisions a man will eventually make, then regret, then do it all over.

I should know, I'm doing it right now. For the first time at that. But hey, rules are meant to be broken. I decided she's worth it so I did break them. And she's gonna break my life once it all ends as it always does, aka horribly, hahah. Fun times ahead.

Then again I'm kind of an idiot, and just because I know something is stupid doesn't necessarily mean I won't be doing it.

In all seriousness though, I could've banged quite a few girls at the office. I chose this one because she naturally pushes my buttons and I can see myself with her in the long run.
So yeah, if you see little or no potential in her, don't do something stupid just because she's hot. Plenty of beautiful women in the world, that alone doesn't mean much.
Author:  Capaverde [ Tue Apr 28, 2015 2:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Conversation
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How is it random to say what I did when asked what I did? This gives something to advance the conversation ON. Just asking her what her plans doesn't seem any better than asking about her weekend, would probably just get the same "not much" answer.
Except you're talking about the future, not the past, so you might be able to subtly include yourself in those plans as the conversation progresses. And no one will ever answer "not much" when asked about their plans.
Author:  Onoma [ Tue Apr 28, 2015 11:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Conversation
Quote:
Except you're talking about the future, not the past, so you might be able to subtly include yourself in those plans as the conversation progresses. And no one will ever answer "not much" when asked about their plans.
Maybe, although that would be better received if there were already some rapport I think. Plus asking someone's plans is often interpreted as asking someone out, which I'm avoiding SPAM.
Author:  Capaverde [ Wed Apr 29, 2015 1:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Conversation
Quote:
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Except you're talking about the future, not the past, so you might be able to subtly include yourself in those plans as the conversation progresses. And no one will ever answer "not much" when asked about their plans.
Maybe, although that would be better received if there were already some rapport I think. Plus asking someone's plans is often interpreted as asking someone out, which I'm avoiding SPAM.
It isn't. Friends do that all the time. What you have to keep in mind is not what she might think - which you can never find out anyway - but how she can respond, in a socially acceptable manner. That's what matters, she won't go out of her way with a non-sequitur because of insecurities on her side on the possibility of you being interested in her. Plus, asking that and subsequently spending time together is rapport building by itself.
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