Aloha boys and girls of all ages, gather around for another magical journey. Not really. I posted a while ago about a breakup and here is how the chess board is currently set up.
So my GF of over a year left me about a month ago. It was a hurtful experience where I was at an emotional low and had been blindsided by the breakup. I did some things afterwards which were bitter moves on my part to rectify the pain I felt. She had said things to hurt me when we were breaking up, and my emotions got the better of me. I opened up my social media profiles for everyone to see, and there were things to see. Girls were posting on my wall, and I was doing well. Childish, I know, but I was hurt and wanted to fire back. I didn't bother responding to emails which she had sent and went no contact as a means of healing. After about a month I messaged her to see how she was doing and re-establish friendly contact. However, her response was a lengthy message where despite her trying to iterate that she was happy, it oozed with emotion and anger. She accused me of using manipulative tactics to try and get back with her, and thinks that she broke some kind of morse code when it comes to NC. She said she was hurt by the fb thing, saying that I used it as a means of getting her jealous to make her get back with me, and that it is an emotionally manipulative move, which strengthened her resolve that her decision to leave was a good one. Said she was happy being single, didn't want to reconcile yada yada, mad at me, bla bla has compassion for me went of on different tangents. Despite the relationship having its problems, she tried to throw them all at me. To her dissertation, I sent back a very short letter which stated I understood why she was mad, didn't intend to hurt her, told her that NC was for my own healing, and wished her the best. Then almost at the speed of light I get another (lengthy) email, this one saying that if i wanted reconciliation, I should have gone about it another way, and responded to the first message she ever sent. Saying again that I hurt her with the fb thing, that I was trying to make her jealous and that it just confirmed all the things she thought. Again the formula was hey look im happy, hey hey look here im happy, i swear im happy. As far as I was concerned, 4-6 weeks is the natural grieving time after a loss and the fb thing was a retaliation to a thing she had said to me earlier. I admit in retrospect it was a childish thing to do.
My gut feeling is that she is still very angry about everything (which she admitted) and it seems like she's trying to vent and make me grovel or take all the guilt. Its like a child's temper tantrum. She kept saying she was done, didn't want to reconcile, but then clearly was still angry, creeped my fb (even though she doesnt have one) did research on the NC thing and thinks she uncovered some kind of illuminati conspiracy. Thats actually the question I have, why is she doing this? Does she still care? Is this some power trip to try and make me feel miserable?
The reason I contacted her after the period of time was to rekindle a friendship that we had, and if that turned into something else, great, if not.. well life will take care of it. Should I even bother responding to this last email or give it some time? I sure as hell am not getting roped into another he said she said, and I dont think trying to explain the situation briefly would help anything. I was looking to reconnect, NOT jump back into a relationship with her as she seems to think. Is it possible to facilitate?
First be honest with yourself.