PUA Forum :: Wingman Problem

My boy Josh, genuinely just likes to see his friends get laid. So he'll invite me over his place ) won't tell me anything specific, but the next thing you know, I get there and its him and one of his female friends sitting on the couch. He hangs around for a bit but then takes a phone call and leaves me in the room with the girl for an hour to two hours. He's literary done this to me 6 times in the two years that i've known him. 4 in the first year as a way to say " we're friends".. And not just me. He's done the same for two of our other boys. Josh's has a daughter now and ins't as interested in getting laid anymore as he is in getting his financial situation together, but he in his own words " Just enjoys knowing his boys are getting laid". He's even done this with girls that came over to see him for him.. They weren't even friends. He just passed it up because i was there.

I say this to say that there are some guys out there who are real bros. You don't have to be bound to your current friends. I understand you love them and they've been there for you, but theres a time in every mans life when he has to make changes to take his life to the next level. Everyone doesn't exactly get to tag along.

You become like the people you hang with. I take that serious. And i think we all should.

Author:	Freshbaked247 [ Fri Mar 20, 2015 7:11 pm ]
Post subject:	Wingman Problem
So I'm having an issue. I've been creating more sexual tension as of late and I'm REALLY getting good results from women I've been approaching, but I'm running into an issue with my best friends whom i assumed could simply be decent wingmen but that may have been an issue on my part. Take my friend Joe: He's a slightly ordinary guy. Very quiet and shy and really has issues with AA and anxiety in general. He's been my friend for over 10 years and we've been through thick and thin. The problem I'm having with Joe is that he has a real problem separating from me in social situations. He clings to me like a leach and it becomes almost impossible to isolate. When he's in a social situation it's almost like his brain turns off and i literally have to coach him through every simple step of how not to blow it for me. Tuesday night, we went to a local bar that I've never been to and i immediately raise my value by talking to all the regulars, laughing and making jokes nearly loud enough for everyone to hear and Joe's cousin and his very attractive girlfriend come in and i greet them confidently and joke with them too. This drew the attention of a very beautiful girl sitting with some guy. She basically opens it up FOR ME by asking if i played a certain instrument based on how i dress. I find out through talking to her that she broke up with her boyfriend but she skated the subject very quickly. She made it very known that the guy next to her is "Her best friend, like the best big brother ever!" and she is in no way shy about grabbing my hands after i start kino or playing footsie with me. I want to get to know her more and escalate but i need to ditch her friend-zoned loser so i call Joe over casually. I tell Joe that this kid plays music and introduce him to the group. Here i expect Joe to talk to the guy, but instead he awkwardly keeps his hands in his pockets and intermittently interjects in the conversion between her and i like a nosy kid on the playground trying to seem cool too. Her best friend goes outside for a cigg and i think that this is a perfect opportunity, but instead Joe stays and acts as an awkward third wheel. Meanwhile she has her coat over her lap and I've managed to move my hand up her leg without and protest but she keeps subtly backing away when i try to kiss her and i have to assume it's because Joe is around being weird as hell. Her friend-zoned friend comes back in but with a larger group of friends and she jumps up and starts hugging and saying hello to everyone. Doesn't bother introducing me and i started to feel after a minute or two that i shifted value because here i was trying to get her attention away from all her very clingy clearly sexually frustrated friends. I've talked to Joe plenty of times about proper winging but every time it seems like he just never gets it or never put it into practice. Either he's scared stiff or he's opening his mouth at the worst possible times. Then there's my friend Steve: Steve is probably the total opposite of Joe and he's the friend i like going out to more raucous fun events like clubbing or into NYC. He's a successful marketing guy for a prominent radio and media company in NYC, good looking guy, and holy hell is he successful with women. Natural choice to make him a wing right? Not really it seems. The problem I'm running into with Steve is that he's a bit of a showboat. The kid's an only child and always used to getting the attention so when i open a set myself and i ask him to come over, it almost seems like he goes above and beyond to try and lower my social value. Not like making fun of me to the group or anything like that but he'll flaunt his success (I'm still in school, so unless i lie, i can't compete) and generally just take over the group. I'm not a push over and i definitely try to keep the frame as the leader of the group, but after awhile i almost feel like i'm competing with my wing rather than working with him. Last Saturday, i went out to this club and BAM i opened a three set right away and got the attention of this smoking hot British girl. She was accompanied by her gal pal and their gay friend. I call Steve over and almost immediately he goes on telling stories about how he's been to London and how he travels and what he does for work. I did manage to isolate however, but then he finds us outside with a "There you are!" and puts his coat on her and the whole show. At this point, it was clear she didn't want anything to do with me but rather wanted to chase Steve. I talked to him at the end of the night when he got her number asking why he does that and his answer ranged from "I don't even know what i did wrong it just happened" to "You had her man you should have closed the deal" I guess outside of venting frustration, my question would be, how and where the fuck do i find a wing that isn't going to hold me back? Naturally i thought about using best friends but it doesn't seem they have a clue how to wing. I feel like I'm doing double the work for 0 results.

Author:	CountRedRover [ Fri Mar 20, 2015 7:29 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Wingman Problem
All I could think of was this video reading your post https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0KQ2-pje9c You have to set a plan. With my wings we just have one simple rule. If I tell them: "I got the stuff by the way (the girl)" then that's their sign to pretty much get lost or distract their friends so I can isolate. It also serves as a curiosity hook for the girl. "What stuff???" lol All you have to do

Author:	Freshbaked247 [ Fri Mar 20, 2015 7:37 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Wingman Problem
Quote: All I could think of was this video reading your post https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0KQ2-pje9c You have to set a plan. With my wings we just have one simple rule. If I tell them: "I got the stuff by the way (the girl)" then that's their sign to pretty much get lost or distract their friends so I can isolate. It also serves as a curiosity hook for the girl. "What stuff???" lol All you have to do That video is awesome. Holy shit Yeah I guess i should sit down with Joe (again) but i never really did that with Steve so maybe i should try that

Author:	CountRedRover [ Sat Mar 21, 2015 5:01 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Wingman Problem
The thing is, if there is no game plan, and more importantly if your wing doesn't know you're into someone, then things will fuck up lol. But you guys got this. Just talk it out and come up with a strat that works for all of you.

Author:	n2thevoid [ Sat Mar 21, 2015 8:03 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Wingman Problem
Go out yourself and meet people. Stop relying on crutches. Man, that's quite the dissertation you wrote.

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Author:	Freshbaked247 [ Sat Mar 21, 2015 7:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Wingman Problem
Quote: The thing is, if there is no game plan, and more importantly if your wing doesn't know you're into someone, then things will fuck up lol. But you guys got this. Just talk it out and come up with a strat that works for all of you. Never really thought of it that way and to be totally honest. Going to try this and hopefully it works. I would suck going out and telling my friends i decided to go with other people lol

Author:	soundwave777 [ Thu Apr 02, 2015 4:06 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Wingman Problem
Find NEW wingmen and friends and keep your mind open, eventually you may find one or two out of ALOT because in general pickup guys are LOSERS and socially uncalibrated hence why they NEED pickup in the first place. NORMAL people actually have SOCIAL GROUPS and know how to socialize without being an overbearing BITCH attention seeker like many LOSER pickup guys become to makeup for how LAME they really are and normal people just socialize vs hiding in their shell like alot of beginnner pickup guys. So really go find some NEW FRIENDS and hobbies to find them because you really won't find too many cool pickup guys

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Fri Apr 03, 2015 4:33 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Wingman Problem
My boy Josh, genuinely just likes to see his friends get laid. So he'll invite me over his place ) won't tell me anything specific, but the next thing you know, I get there and its him and one of his female friends sitting on the couch. He hangs around for a bit but then takes a phone call and leaves me in the room with the girl for an hour to two hours. He's literary done this to me 6 times in the two years that i've known him. 4 in the first year as a way to say " we're friends".. And not just me. He's done the same for two of our other boys. Josh's has a daughter now and ins't as interested in getting laid anymore as he is in getting his financial situation together, but he in his own words " Just enjoys knowing his boys are getting laid". He's even done this with girls that came over to see him for him.. They weren't even friends. He just passed it up because i was there. I say this to say that there are some guys out there who are real bros. You don't have to be bound to your current friends. I understand you love them and they've been there for you, but theres a time in every mans life when he has to make changes to take his life to the next level. Everyone doesn't exactly get to tag along. You become like the people you hang with. I take that serious. And i think we all should.

Author:	dtrak [ Fri Apr 03, 2015 5:16 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Wingman Problem
Where do you find a wing? Anywhere, it depends what your life is like. School. Work. Events. Online. The key is to get guys numbers with the intention of meeting up. Most guys are not so deep in this pick up bullshit but most guys like girls. So just make cool friends and go out and do your thing. Just be social dude. Dont over complicate something so easy. AND you dont really NEED a WING BUT you should HAVE wings and wings are great, not just wings... COOL FRIENDS... the concept of "Wings" is fucking stupid, whats better than a wing? a fucking good friend. Be social. Make friends. sure... have wings at your disposal.... Own it. But dont be afraid to go at it on your own, but even when out on your own you should be on the look out for potential friends and wings... A true player is NEVER alone, because true players are SOCIAL. Unless your a dark fucking darthvader loner who just wants to fuk chicks and be alone with no friends. Thats possible but is not everyones thing. Whatever floats ya boat. peace

Author:	Freshbaked247 [ Fri Apr 03, 2015 7:39 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Wingman Problem
Quote: My boy Josh, genuinely just likes to see his friends get laid. So he'll invite me over his place ) won't tell me anything specific, but the next thing you know, I get there and its him and one of his female friends sitting on the couch. He hangs around for a bit but then takes a phone call and leaves me in the room with the girl for an hour to two hours. He's literary done this to me 6 times in the two years that i've known him. 4 in the first year as a way to say " we're friends".. And not just me. He's done the same for two of our other boys. Josh's has a daughter now and ins't as interested in getting laid anymore as he is in getting his financial situation together, but he in his own words " Just enjoys knowing his boys are getting laid". He's even done this with girls that came over to see him for him.. They weren't even friends. He just passed it up because i was there. I say this to say that there are some guys out there who are real bros. You don't have to be bound to your current friends. I understand you love them and they've been there for you, but theres a time in every mans life when he has to make changes to take his life to the next level. Everyone doesn't exactly get to tag along. You become like the people you hang with. I take that serious. And i think we all should. As much as it pains me, I've really been thinking about distancing myself a bit from my friend Joe. I love him like a brother but you're so right about no longer being congruent. For various reasons, even as much as i may struggle, he just seems to be so far behind me in everything lately. It was fine when we were ypunger but now it almost feels like I'm baby sitting him half the time.

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