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Inviting her to your place?
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Author:  Ghost. [ Sat Mar 07, 2015 10:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Inviting her to your place?
This is gonna be a bit weird, so bear with me.

Real cute co-worker and I made out a few weeks ago while having drinks with some common friends. We've been flirting for a little longer than that though. She 24 and I'm 22.

Anyway, here's the weird. I live in the same area with her a few other colleagues from work so we kinda formed a group. We go to/leave the office together, go to the same gym and it's become a tradition to stop for a drink at the local lounge. Because of this the two of us have never been on a "proper" date since there's always at least one other person with us.
However, they always leave early. And we kinda know that. So we end up with a couple of hours to ourselves each time.
We keep appearances while others are around and flirt as if nothing ever happened. It's really fun since they're completely oblivious but the moment they leave we transition into making out and being all intimate. It's kinda weird.

Here's the problem. She's leaving on a 3 week delegation on Wednesday. Considering this thing between us has been going on for about 2 weeks, 3 is a long time. I'm not sure how easy keeping attraction up for so long will be if we don't have sex before she leaves. She's comfortable at my place since "the group" has been here before.

So should I just casually tell her to come over tomorrow night for some good pizza and a bad movie? I know I will kick myself in the balls if I don't get a lay with her. I gotta at least try.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Sat Mar 07, 2015 10:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Inviting her to your place?
Hell yeah dude what the hell?

Great line by the way.

What women in her right mind would object to such an offer?

You have to be stronger in your belief that she's going to come man. ASSUME SHE WILL ACCEPT the same way we're taught to assume attraction. That all plays a major part in her offer.

I think you got it though to be honest.

Make the power move.
Author:  Ghost. [ Sat Mar 07, 2015 11:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Inviting her to your place?
Quote:
Hell yeah dude what the hell?

Great line by the way.

What women in her right mind would object to such an offer?

You have to be stronger in your belief that she's going to come man. ASSUME SHE WILL ACCEPT the same way we're taught to assume attraction. That all plays a major part in her offer.

I think you got it though to be honest.

Make the power move.
Hahah, love the sarcasm. I wasn't actually gonna word it like that. But yeah, I see your point.

Thanks for the post Eddie. Helpful as always. Also appreciate the vote of confidence. I have a good feeling about this too.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Sat Mar 07, 2015 11:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Inviting her to your place?
Quote:
Quote:
Hell yeah dude what the hell?

Great line by the way.

What women in her right mind would object to such an offer?

You have to be stronger in your belief that she's going to come man. ASSUME SHE WILL ACCEPT the same way we're taught to assume attraction. That all plays a major part in her offer.

I think you got it though to be honest.

Make the power move.
Hahah, love the sarcasm. I wasn't actually gonna word it like that. But yeah, I see your point.

Thanks for the post Eddie. Helpful as always. Also appreciate the vote of confidence. I have a good feeling about this too.
I was serious.

I'm going to use that.
Author:  R.C [ Sun Mar 08, 2015 8:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Inviting her to your place?
Having inside jokes, protecting "your secret" when others are around, knowing something they don't, these types of things skyrocket the process of building a connection. The fact that she's already been at your place, you work together, go to the same gym.. you may not have been on a "proper" date but she is used to being with you in multiple environments and situations. That can only work in your favor.

I could see that line working if you're cheeky like that and subcommunicate your true intentions but nevertheless she's attracted, she's comfortable, there's a connection, she's leaving and she knows it too. I think you got this OP.

3 weeks may or may not be a long time since she's leaving on a business trip but you don't really have anything to lose.
If you live in the same area it's even better, because the logistics of going to work in the morning won't be a problem.

Do you intend to push for a relationship with this girl?
Author:  Ghost. [ Sun Mar 08, 2015 9:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Inviting her to your place?
I don't know. As far as she's concerned I don't have a good opinion on marriage or LTR's overall. Finding a girl that's worth being your girl is rare. It's so so rare. For me at least. I guess I have somewhat higher standards than most people but I simply can't settle. Nor do I want to.

I could see myself with her. No point in thinking in those terms until she gets back though.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Sun Mar 08, 2015 11:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Inviting her to your place?
Quote:
I don't know. As far as she's concerned I don't have a good opinion on marriage or LTR's overall. Finding a girl that's worth being your girl is rare. It's so so rare. For me at least. I guess I have somewhat higher standards than most people but I simply can't settle. Nor do I want to.

I could see myself with her. No point in thinking in those terms until she gets back though.
You're setting yourself up to over romanticize the women that comes into your life who is most a reflection of that which your mother was or wasn't and thus leading you to develop oneitis and be ruled once that woman appears.

There are no "rare" and/or "special" women. There are different personalities, but they share all the same instincts and when you boil it down. And a woman wants a man not to respond to her personality, but to her instincts and her intention. And the more women you gather around the more you will learn that they ALL share the same instincts and intention. And so they all are to be treated in similar manners according to what it is they want you to respond to. Anything else and you will dethrone yourself and begin living a life of subtle manipulation and loss of respect from your woman.

So only in our own mental fantasy is one woman more fit for a relationship than another(with the exception of a woman who has experienced extreme trauma), because when you look at what a woman wants from a man (for him to respond to her intention and instincts) they are all the same.
Author:  Ghost. [ Sun Mar 08, 2015 11:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Inviting her to your place?
Quote:
You're setting yourself up to over romanticize the women that comes into your life who is most a reflection of that which your mother was or wasn't and thus leading you to develop oneitis and be ruled once that woman appears.

There are no "rare" and/or "special" women. There are different personalities, but they share all the same instincts and when you boil it down. And a woman wants a man not to respond to her personality, but to her instincts and her intention. And the more women you gather around the more you will learn that they ALL share the same instincts and intention. And so they all are to be treated in similar manners according to what it is they want you to respond to. Anything else and you will dethrone yourself and begin living a life of subtle manipulation and loss of respect from your woman.
Yes, you're right. I didn't say she was rare. Or special. I meant it's rare for me to meet someone who I feel is of at least equal value. I know it sounds arrogant but I don't mean it in that way. Most people tend to go overboard an fall into the onitis mentality, but is awareness of someone's value a bad thing?

She's not unique in any way shape or form. I've learnt my lesson with pedestals long ago, but you're obviously going to like some people more than others, no?
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Sun Mar 08, 2015 12:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Inviting her to your place?
Quote:
Quote:
You're setting yourself up to over romanticize the women that comes into your life who is most a reflection of that which your mother was or wasn't and thus leading you to develop oneitis and be ruled once that woman appears.

There are no "rare" and/or "special" women. There are different personalities, but they share all the same instincts and when you boil it down. And a woman wants a man not to respond to her personality, but to her instincts and her intention. And the more women you gather around the more you will learn that they ALL share the same instincts and intention. And so they all are to be treated in similar manners according to what it is they want you to respond to. Anything else and you will dethrone yourself and begin living a life of subtle manipulation and loss of respect from your woman.
Yes, you're right. I didn't say she was rare. Or special. I meant it's rare for me to meet someone who I feel is of at least equal value. I know it sounds arrogant but I don't mean it in that way. Most people tend to go overboard an fall into the onitis mentality, but is awareness of someone's value a bad thing?

She's not unique in any way shape or form. I've learnt my lesson with pedestals long ago, but you're obviously going to like some people more than others, no?
I didn't say that you thought she(this girl) was rare or special, I said that the mentality that there is some woman out there who is rare or special is counter productive to your future relationship with whoeever so you choose when that "so-called" woman presents herself.

That way of thinking "now" - before that woman is around is not laying the proper foundation to have a successful/happy relationship once she does come around.

If you ever want to read a great book I recommend " The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar" its satirical and a bit exaggerated at points, but the fundamental truths are undeniable.

And pardon my written tone if it struck you in any ill way. I'm just trying to be of service to my fellow brothers.
Author:  Ghost. [ Mon Mar 09, 2015 7:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Inviting her to your place?
Quote:
I didn't say that you thought she(this girl) was rare or special, I said that the mentality that there is some woman out there who is rare or special is counter productive to your future relationship with whoeever so you choose when that "so-called" woman presents herself.

That way of thinking "now" - before that woman is around is not laying the proper foundation to have a successful/happy relationship once she does come around.

If you ever want to read a great book I recommend " The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar" its satirical and a bit exaggerated at points, but the fundamental truths are undeniable.

And pardon my written tone if it struck you in any ill way. I'm just trying to be of service to my fellow brothers.
Hmm, yes, I see what you mean now. I'll be sure to check the book out. And don't worry about the tone, I don't take offense so easily.

Anyway, talked to her yesterday and she already mentioned having plans before I got the chance to ask, so I'm gonna do it today.
Author:  R.C [ Mon Mar 09, 2015 7:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Inviting her to your place?
Don't fuck this up OP. You don't seem to be new at this so you should know what happens when you play it safe.

You better do it today.
Author:  Ghost. [ Tue Mar 10, 2015 7:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Inviting her to your place?
She was sick as fvck yesterday. Kind of a bad timing but I went for it anyway.
I told her to come spend the night and she said that she kinda feels like a wreck. I suggested she can feel like a wreck at my place as well.
She hinted that "we both know what's going on here", so I replied by asking her just how easy she thinks I am, and told her not to overthink sh!t. The conclusion was that she "might come".

Her answer was genuine but I'm not an idiot so I didn't hold my breath. Went out with some friends instead but still texted her at around 9 PM.

Me: "You letting yourself be expected princess?"
Her " :)) princess I just woke up. I can't make it... cant get outta bed,sick. tomorrow if you're free I'm coming."


It's really good that she rescheduled on her own initiative right? I think I got this.
Author:  R.C [ Tue Mar 10, 2015 11:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Inviting her to your place?
Quote:
She was sick as fvck yesterday. Kind of a bad timing but I went for it anyway.
I told her to come spend the night and she said that she kinda feels like a wreck. I suggested she can feel like a wreck at my place as well.
She hinted that "we both know what's going on here", so I replied by asking her just how easy she thinks I am, and told her not to overthink sh!t. The conclusion was that she "might come".

Her answer was genuine but I'm not an idiot so I didn't hold my breath. Went out with some friends instead but still texted her at around 9 PM.

Me: "You letting yourself be expected princess?"
Her " :)) princess I just woke up. I can't make it... cant get outta bed,sick. tomorrow if you're free I'm coming."


It's really good that she rescheduled on her own initiative right? I think I got this.
Good job on not hesitating to make other plans. I mean that. Most guys would've stayed home getting wet each time their phone lit up.

Don't contact her today. Don't talk to her at the office either unless she approaches you. Let her follow up on that proposition herself. If she does, you're clearly in. If not you can hit her up later just as you did yesterday.

You don't need advice OP, you need to keep doing what you're doing.
Author:  Ghost. [ Tue Mar 10, 2015 12:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Inviting her to your place?
Quote:
Quote:
She was sick as fvck yesterday. Kind of a bad timing but I went for it anyway.
I told her to come spend the night and she said that she kinda feels like a wreck. I suggested she can feel like a wreck at my place as well.
She hinted that "we both know what's going on here", so I replied by asking her just how easy she thinks I am, and told her not to overthink sh!t. The conclusion was that she "might come".

Her answer was genuine but I'm not an idiot so I didn't hold my breath. Went out with some friends instead but still texted her at around 9 PM.

Me: "You letting yourself be expected princess?"
Her " :)) princess I just woke up. I can't make it... cant get outta bed,sick. tomorrow if you're free I'm coming."


It's really good that she rescheduled on her own initiative right? I think I got this.
Good job on not hesitating to make other plans. I mean that. Most guys would've stayed home getting wet each time their phone lit up.

Don't contact her today. Don't talk to her at the office either unless she approaches you. Let her follow up on that proposition herself. If she does, you're clearly in. If not you can hit her up later just as you did yesterday.

You don't need advice OP, you need to keep doing what you're doing.
Thanks, it was a really fun night too.

That's exactly what I was planning on. She's working from home today too so it won't be an issue. However, she contacted me already.

Her: "Princess you got a printer?"
Me: "I'm at the office. I have multiple printers"
Her: "Yea but at home?"
Me: "Yea, got one @ home too."
Her: "so I can print the plane ticket"
Her: "ok great then I'll see you tonight at your place"
Her: "also I want that alphabet soup you promised :* :))"

It's not necessarily a matter of needing advice, but with girls I actually like it can only help to have outside perspective on the situation. Prevents me from getting in my head.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Tue Mar 10, 2015 12:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Inviting her to your place?
I love how you made a lil bit of a deal about this and you so easily slid in there.

Good job dude.

Keep the updates coming.
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