I'm 17, that's my first post and I encountered problem which I couldn't understand/solve so far.I think I might be depressed. I know it sounds like normal teenage problem but for me it is not. I'll try make it as short as possible.
I've started practicing PUA skills 6 months ago after reading The game. I tried few of the techniques from the book and I knew I found new bible. Opening groups of girls and other people gave me a lot of energy and confidence. I was excited, I was willing, I was maintaining high spirit all the time and the people felt it and they wanted to be in my presence. I belived I could talk with anybody-and I could do that. I believed I could be interesting and I was. I believed that I could be the life and the soul of the party and I was. Then I read the art of seduction by R.G. and I tried to have all the features of the Dandy, Rake, Natural...-one of my many mistakes. I tried to maintain high level of energy all the time, tried to use every technique I read 1 day earlier-in short, I tried to be seductive 24/7. It worked out! But after 2 weeks I run out of steam and the following 2 weeks I spent recovering. I understood some of my mistakes and slowed down.
Still reading, heh?
After that I carefully planned exercises(1 technique a week, opening people in shopping centres, I even finished 8th day from The Rules of the Game) The following 2 months were the best in my life! I talked with many many hot girls, could make them interested...every technique of maintaining interesting conversation, being Alpha male, being leader, being funny, being the guy girls wanted to be with- I was that. Guys in high school were looking at me with admiration, they wanted to have fun with me...I was life of the party.
And one day I came across girl I have crush on from 7 years- terrible, isn't it? Until recently I've never believed I had chance with her, I was socially awkward and she was out of my league.But now I knew how to talk with girls.It didn't work out with her. The fact is that she is shy with guys(my female's friend opinion) but still I should have been able to talk with her easily. After "the talk" with her everything started falling apart. I told myself she's only obsession and I should let her go.
I couldn't stop thinking about her when socializing with others-I was distracted all the time. During having fun I started feeling...depressed? Every time I talked with girls I was feeling all that practicing was meaningless- but I knew it wasn't. Every time when starting conversation the feeling was appearing and as a result I stopped being seductive/attractive and so on.My high spirit was gone.
Now, after 3 months of reading tips, making mental exercises from Huna and almost succeeding in throwing out crush out of my head, I feel better.I came back to state before reading The Game. But about 2 weeks ago my crush wrote to me on FB and it's obvious that's she is/ was interested in me. Fuck! Part of my grumpiness came back. And I can't even talk with her longer than 15 minutes. Part of me wants to talk and be with her but my brain tells me it's only obsession that I don't even know her. One day I feel better, the other I feel worse.
I started reading The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris and it is helping me a little.
If you have any ideas what happened in my head I would be grateful for opinions. I also don't know if I should exercise PUA skills or wait more. And any tips how to talk with shy girls will be appreciated
