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Awful first date...advice?
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Author:  lovablejerk [ Tue Mar 03, 2015 4:23 am ]
Post subject:  Awful first date...advice?
Hi, first post on this forum- so I met up with a girl from an online app...we live close by, happened to go to the same school, had lots in common...but I failed to create a spark.

How the date went: I waited for her at a coffee shop- I immediately failed to greet her with a hug since the first thing she did was offer a handshake. We chatted for a long time, needed to transition from boring school topics so I asked what kind of guys she's attracted to...received a short nothing in particular answer, more chit-chat, a few awkward silences. Ended up bouncing to the mall...walked around, attempted physical escalation by grabbing and hugging her- she seemed receptive... sat down, and talked some more...a few more awkward silences. She wasn't hungry and I didn't buy anything from the stores we entered, sort of just browsed. Later gave her a ride home, she ended it with a plain good-bye/nice meeting you.

This date made me realize how rusty I am and was a true eye-opener for me...if I were to watch myself on video I'd definitely cringe. Her profile contained a lot of sexual answers but she didn't seem that way in person. There was no opportunity that was appropriate for me to go for a make-out let alone hookup. Truly, truly disappointed with myself. It seems we'll just be friends- at least that's the vibe I got... it's hard to keep a convo going for 2 1/2 hours-- there's bound to be awkward silences in between yeah? I think that coupled with my failure to escalate was what killed me. Advice?
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Tue Mar 03, 2015 1:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Awful first date...advice?
You will not click with every girl you meet, and you simply cannot win them all.

It really sounds like that's what happened. I wouldn't give it another thought, dude.

Think about what you did wrong on this date (beyond the fact you just did't click with her), and make it a point to improve in those areas on your next date.
Author:  bartm [ Tue Mar 03, 2015 5:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Awful first date...advice?
agree with charles above. while i was reading original post my first thought was "she was just not into him"
it's ok, not every girl is going to be attracted to you.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Tue Mar 03, 2015 6:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Awful first date...advice?
Its only hard to keep a convo going for 2 and a half hours if you think like that. Because then you'll become uneasy and forget the 20+ years of life information you have gathered. The way I see it, if you've lived for 20 years you should be able to have a conversation straight for 20 years. You have to develop a higher perspective.

I also let me throw in that I've found that the girls who post the most sexuality explicit material on the internet are actually very perverse and apprehensive in person. The internet provides them with an outlet to express the sexuality that they don't get to in person.

The women who list things like " Looking for a husband" or "actively seeking a relationship" have always been the girls quickest to come over to my house with just a 30+ min phone call after the internet chat. Women don't think like us bro.. You're thinking with your logic.

Surely a girl who appears hyper sexual online must be hyper sexual in person.. Its perfectly logical right? The thing is, women aren't logical. So using your logic to interpret their actions will leave you just as confused as it has already left you.

My conclusion.. Don't be so hard on yourself. You had a shitty date; which only prepares you with experience to a successful one in the future. This wasn't a failure it was simply a lesson. Let the girl go and make better with the next one.
Author:  lovablejerk [ Wed Mar 04, 2015 1:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Awful first date...advice?
She's also into girls if that makes any difference...and yeah on her profile she's answered a lot of sex-related questions like have you ever had a one night stand- yes, would you ever have sex in public- would love to, do you have a high sex drive- very high, things of that nature... but in person she was a tad bit awkward. She later texted me saying she would like to meet up and do something and that I should keep in contact with her.

Now there's not much to do in our boring town (any suggestions?) which is why I suggested chilling at the mall. Even if I gamed her perfectly and she wanted to hook up I can't bring her home (live w/ parents). What are we gonna do bang in a forever 21 fitting room, so there's that obstacle. It was a good reference experience I suppose but I would hate to drop her if there's still some potential.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Wed Mar 04, 2015 2:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Awful first date...advice?
Quote:
She's also into girls if that makes any difference...and yeah on her profile she's answered a lot of sex-related questions like have you ever had a one night stand- yes, would you ever have sex in public- would love to, do you have a high sex drive- very high, things of that nature... but in person she was a tad bit awkward. She later texted me saying she would like to meet up and do something and that I should keep in contact with her.

Now there's not much to do in our boring town (any suggestions?) which is why I suggested chilling at the mall. Even if I gamed her perfectly and she wanted to hook up I can't bring her home (live w/ parents). What are we gonna do bang in a forever 21 fitting room, so there's that obstacle. It was a good reference experience I suppose but I would hate to drop her if there's still some potential.
Back seat of your car?

That's the most classic spot on the planet.
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