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Met a intelligent lady off tinder ...help
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Author:  obakemono [ Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Met a intelligent lady off tinder ...help
Met a lovely HB 7 on Sunday in Aberdeen off tinder im from northern ireland and 36 and she is Scottish 42 I work as a steel erector and she was a production analyst for an oil company ,she writes poetry,is a life model has even written a children's book she is extremely intelligent and I realised this early on. I cut to the chase early on tinder and suggested dinner on sunday afternoon and all went well she was dressed in an amazing dress,after dinner I suggested a walk and on returning to the car I closed with lots of kissing ,more than I expected, things were getting very hot and I had to stop. Then she suggested some where quieter ,which I obliged.We didn't have sex but it was close, I never have sex until at least 4 dates.I have texted her since but have since realised she is not a texting fan... no emocions etc last nite I rang and suggested bowling/crazy golf and she jumped at it. Picked her up at 6.30 she was dressed impeccably again with a lovely hat. We arrived at the place and she saw a craft shop that she wanted to go into I obliged and I think we had good fun there , everything went well and during the golf things got better :-) lots of joking and competivness. I took her home after and this is were it started to go wrong....my own fault we kissed outside her house then I suggested that instead of kissing in the car again we should go inside to hers it was quite late and I had work early in the morning so I also said it wouldnt be for long as I had a 40 min drive home as well. She said no and I like a chump said I understood ,then she said that no one gets into her house... Her rules then I said what about in a months time if we are getting along? She answered with "I admit there is a lot of chemistry between us but I can't see us as boyfriend and girlfriend" :-( I know its a bit early to call it anything she also said something about us having little in common. So after I messaged her to tell her I got home safe I also told her the name of a short story I was reading (the 100% perfect girl) and asked if she had
read it and told her to message me what she thought of it. So now I'm waiting...I'm not gonna text now until I get a reply. I know I have made lots of mistakes ,please go easy on me I'm only new to this.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Met a intelligent lady off tinder ...help
Quote:
I closed with lots of kissing ,more than I expected, things were getting very hot and I had to stop. Then she suggested some where quieter ,which I obliged.We didn't have sex but it was close, I never have sex until at least 4 dates.
Why? Seems like you may have been able to close it here if she was only looking for a quick lay. Though I'm not sure because of how it went downhill afterwards...
Quote:
"I admit there is a lot of chemistry between us but I can't see us as boyfriend and girlfriend" :-( I know its a bit early to call it anything she also said something about us having little in common. So after I messaged her to tell her I got home safe I also told her the name of a short story I was reading (the 100% perfect girl) and asked if she had
read it and told her to message me what she thought of it. So now I'm waiting...I'm not gonna text now until I get a reply. I know I have made lots of mistakes ,please go easy on me I'm only new to this.
This is her saying she doesn't want to date you. Sorry dude.
Author:  Rebooting [ Thu Feb 19, 2015 5:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Met a intelligent lady off tinder ...help
Quote:
Quote:
I closed with lots of kissing ,more than I expected, things were getting very hot and I had to stop. Then she suggested some where quieter ,which I obliged.We didn't have sex but it was close, I never have sex until at least 4 dates.
Why? Seems like you may have been able to close it here if she was only looking for a quick lay. Though I'm not sure because of how it went downhill afterwards...
I think exactly the same. And my guess is that the reason why it went downhill afterwards is because the situation deflated there (like, from a sexual/escalation point of view) and the "OMG what I am doing, I don't want to be some slut having one night stands with random guys I don't see as a long term prospect anyway" attitude kicked in.

You shot yourself in the foot with your attitude, man. While I respect it, Tinder is probably not the best place to have that sort of mindset. Yo DO know it is a hook up app, right?
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Thu Feb 19, 2015 5:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Met a intelligent lady off tinder ...help
The first mistake was that you asked her for permission to go into her home in a month or that you asked for permission at all. Its better to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. So you just got for it. Say something like " Where are your keys.. Lets go inside". Never ask for permission unless its with someone that corporately higher up than you. And even then its at times better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Always remember that.

The second was that you allowed her to lead you by allowing her to impose what you thought the future of the relationship would be. Had you just responded by saying something like " I think thats silly; you don't even know me" and then went back to kissing her she would of rethought her entire statement because it was left unvalidated.

Third.. You texted her that you made it home safe as if you're a woman and she has to worry about your safety. When its the other way around.

Fourth: You texted her an additional time after that with someone ingeunine. Like you care if she saw it. You care about seeing her again. Thats it.

Truth of the matter is that you chumped up at bit, she felt the weakness, and for her it had attack on her level of attraction for you.

What do you do now? Nothing. NOTHING.

When she texts you back do NOT say ANYTHING back to her. Pushing a ship thats sailing away only speeds up the process. You have to just wait and let her come back to you a bit. As a member on this forum put it, time makes people see things through rose colored glasses. So if you leave her alone for long enough she'll think back on you and realize that maybe you were cooler than she thought. You obviously are no longer chasing her. You must have moved on. She'll check on you.

If you truly want the girl you do nothing when and if she responds to you. You let her text a second time. If you want to play the back and forth tennis match until it completely fizzles out and you're left with more oneitis than you have now - you contact her again and/or respond to her if she texts you back.

Its as simple as that. There are no special situations. Yours has been like thousands of others on this forum and the solution has always been the same.
Author:  obakemono [ Fri Feb 20, 2015 11:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Met a intelligent lady off tinder ...help
Thanks guys , i knew i had to stop messaging her so im keeping my mind off her by sarging other women
Author:  obakemono [ Tue Feb 24, 2015 8:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Met a intelligent lady off tinder ...help
Well it has been almost a week and there hasn't been a text or call :-( now i know she really hates text messaging and she was busy during the week, so im looking at ideas how to escalate this, im quite sure a text message will be quite lame so i will have to call her.
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