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Blind Date (sorta) Question
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Author:  thecrook [ Wed Feb 18, 2015 3:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Blind Date (sorta) Question

Good morning guys. So this is a new one for me. After meeting rat after rat after rat, I'm finally ready to meet a good one. I'm 33 and tired of games, and meaningless relationships, it happens to the best of us.

So, last week a friend showed me a picture of a girl she knew that is my type, and also sent my picture to the girl. Well we were both interested, and my friend gave me the girls number. Now according to my friend, this girl has her head on straight, she has a good job, goof family, isn't a whore, and is looking for a normal relationship. So I waited a couple days, and sent her a text introducing myself. (I was debating on calling first, but in this day an age it seems like texting is just the norm. She responded, and we went back and forth for a few hours. We decided on a day to hang out, but not a set time or place.

I let Friday and Saturday go by without reaching out to her, since it was the weekend and Valentine's day. This whole time my friend was yelling at me about texting instead of calling. So on Sunday, I picked up the phone and called her and left a short voicemail.

Today is Wednesday, I have not heard anything, not even a text response saying "Sorry I missed your call, blah blah blah"

My question is, wtf could have happened? Two theories, she knows a girl that I've dated in the past and something bad was said (we have mutual friends on facebook) or she's got an ex that she's going back to.

Now, tomorrow is the day we're supposed to hang out, do I reach out again or just let this go.

Author:  JackZero [ Wed Feb 18, 2015 5:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind Date (sorta) Question

Your first mistake is that you waited a few days to call the girl. Your mutual friend told her that you had her number. You not calling makes her think you're not too interested.

Your second mistake was not calling and having a brief conversation with her and let her hear in your voice that you were interested in going out. Extended text, especially two hours worth, are attraction killers.

At the end of the day, all you were was a picture and a bunch of text messages that came with a recommendation from a friend. You let too much time pass so instead of gaining attraction, you lost it.

Author:  thecrook [ Wed Feb 18, 2015 6:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind Date (sorta) Question

Thanks for your response, man.

Any hope in fixing this, or should I let it go? If she didn't respond to my call, does a follow up text look like I'm desperate?

Author:  JackZero [ Wed Feb 18, 2015 6:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind Date (sorta) Question

Odds are is that she lost interest in you. She hasn't returned your call and it is likely because she doesn't want to go out with you now.

You can always go for a Hail Mary and call her and say that you have to push back your date night to Friday or Saturday and see if she responds to that.

Author:  neo87 [ Wed Feb 18, 2015 7:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind Date (sorta) Question

If this doesn't work out...keep this in mind for next time.. You say you're over playing games...well you played around here. Next time, call her and set a plan up. Even if it's valentine's weekend you can make a joke about it but still meet up or talk if you're free. If you're really over the games, don't play them.

Author:  JackZero [ Wed Feb 18, 2015 7:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind Date (sorta) Question

Quote:
If this doesn't work out...keep this in mind for next time.. You say you're over playing games...well you played around here. Next time, call her and set a plan up. Even if it's valentine's weekend you can make a joke about it but still meet up or talk if you're free. If you're really over the games, don't play them.
Bingo

Author:  thecrook [ Wed Feb 18, 2015 7:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind Date (sorta) Question

So i fucked it up basically. Well get this. She just texted me when I was at lunch saying "Hey, sorry it took me so long to get back to you - work stuff!"

Now what lol? Yes, I would like to still meet her, but I guess the games have to be played now.

Author:  neo87 [ Wed Feb 18, 2015 8:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind Date (sorta) Question

Quote:
So i fucked it up basically. Well get this. She just texted me when I was at lunch saying "Hey, sorry it took me so long to get back to you - work stuff!"

Now what lol? Yes, I would like to still meet her, but I guess the games have to be played now.
Why is this difficult? Why not just go out with her as planned?

Author:  thecrook [ Wed Feb 18, 2015 9:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind Date (sorta) Question

I want to, but how do I respond to that short three day later text message?

Author:  Eddie Fews [ Wed Feb 18, 2015 9:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind Date (sorta) Question

Your post is a signal that you need to have more patient. The odds are you may miss this set day to hang out with her, but your patience will open another opportunity for you to meet with her in the future on potential better terms. Pushing at this point will only push her further away.

What many men don't realize is getting the girl you actually want requires patience. And it is usually during the times in which you think about contacting her the most that she is in fact thinking about contacting you. But she must do it.. She wants to feel your strength.

Just recently I had a girl I was speaking with plan something with me for valentines day. It was light and casual.. Nothing concrete. Just like your situation. Although I began to like her a lot over the week before valentines day and she naturally began to pull away a bit. Same as your situation.. So on valentines day I wanted to contact her to double check, but I knew in my gut that contacting her would only push her further away. She contacted me two days after me resisting the urge with high enthusiasm. Now we're back on track.

A woman often needs to feel your strength.

This is my approach.. From me feeling out your situation; i would advise you to do the same.

Author:  Eddie Fews [ Wed Feb 18, 2015 9:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind Date (sorta) Question

I just read the thread.. You're over thinking. Don't play the game.. Its no need. You're judging her the way you would judge a guy and she doesn't operate that way. Women don't.

Respond casually

"Hey, how about tomorrow at 8? I know a spot. "

The mentality you are displaying at the though of her responding late is the reason you are in this situation in the first place. Same mentality being projected into a different scene. You have to rise about that crook. It isn't necessary. And when you work on cultivating respect with the women you interact with they won't present you with the opportunities in which you think game playing is an option.

Author:  thecrook [ Wed Feb 18, 2015 9:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind Date (sorta) Question

Thank you for the advice guys, I really appreciate it. Yes, I have been over-thinking you're absolutely right. Eddie, I will try what you said and report back. Thanks again.

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